The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

dude99

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It's not really about who's the dumper / the dumped, more about who disrespected and cheated or lied to who. I am the 'dumper' in my situation but I don't feel like having to put any more effort in it.
If she cheated and lied and disrespected you, why would you welcome such poor quality back?
There are better women out there.
 
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goodbyehorses

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If she cheated and lied and disrespected you, why would you welcome such poor quality back?
There are better women out there.
I am replying also to @Mauser96.

I know that 'quality' is a very subjective concept, and I have a strong belief in the possibility for people to change and grow (it's rare though, but it happens, just like s*** happens ;) ).
This is even more possible in the case of young people, for obvious reasons.

So in fact, I don't want her back. I would like to meet a different version of this person, one who has learned the lesson and is willing to cope with her past mistakes. I bet this won't happen but, just in case, I would give to this 'new version' a chance because I truly care for her (I already did before falling in love, when we were just friends and I didn't want to be nothing more).

I know there are a lot of better girls out there, but I'm demisexual, it's not easy for me to find someone both sexually and emotionally attractive (it happened just twice in my life), the sparkle comes from a lot of combined reasons, not necessarily linked to 'quality' or 'virtues' or so; reasons not objectively measurable, and definitely out of my control.
 

Mauser96

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I am replying also to @Mauser96.



So in fact, I don't want her back.

That explains why you are not chasing/reaching out to her - that is fine.

I have come to the point in my life, (finally) where if a woman decides to break up with me...…...then it is done.

The onus is on her to reach out. She broke it, she needs to fix it . She has ceased to exist until she does.

And the longer she waits, the less chance I will be interested.
 

Don De Grey

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Day 6.

Got a work email from her today about a non critical problem on another business unit that I occasionally work on.
Funny thing is she cc'ed the Engineer of that project and directed the email to me. I should have not been on the email at all.

Did not reply, I threw the ball in his court as he is fully aware of everything going on between us.
Day 7

The guy I’m training couldn’t get in my building yesterday because of the holiday, ended up working with that other business unit with her yesterday. He came in this morning and said dude I don’t think that chick is over you. She talked about you several times yesterday. She even said out loud to everyone that you hated her before sending that email.

I am eventually going to have to do some work over there in the coming weeks, hopefully I can schedule my time on the weekends or after hours so I don’t have to come in contact with her.
 
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Don De Grey

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She has made ZERO effort. I'm glad she hasn't. I'm about at the point where I don't care anymore.
When you get past that point is usually when they come around. My problem is when I like a girl as much as my ex, I usually self sabotage (consciously or sub consciously) any plates that I’m spinning when that happens.

Back in my 20’s I purposely threw a 1 year relationship down the toilet for an ex I had strong feelings for.

Now I would be upfront and say I’m dating someone else, but open to also dating you again; and may the best girl win.
 
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