Starting to see some distance, or it could just be my thinking

AJ84

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#81
Its sad that things in a relationship can go south that fast for no apparent reason.
Idk if this os hypergamy but to me it lacks integrity and loyalty

I seriously think that orbiters are the reason for it
I guess I’m just not seeing where the ball dropped that far. A bit of disappointment, but I can tell you if you demote women as plates for something like this, you will only ever have plates.
People will disappoint you. Frame doesn’t prevent that from happening, it just shapes how you react to it.
I can understand if OP’s gf did something purposefully insensitive like deciding to go off on a weekend booze holiday with her friends when she could see him instead, or said she couldn’t meet with him then he found her posting stuff on Facebook about her shopping spree or her girlfriend brunch etc.

Could she of spent a bit of time? Yes. But he did say she 1) started an apprenticeship and 2) is remodeling something and there was a flood.
Oh and 3) she did offer to help him, even if it wasn’t in the way that he needed.

It would be nice if she went over to see him, of course. Maybe she is someone who can’t sort out how to manage time around certain things and make time to see others when she’s got sh*t going on, I don’t know. Maybe she can’t handle being around someone in pain, maybe she doesn’t know how to deal with it. None of the above is his problem of course. Who knows.
What I do know, based on what he posted, is that she doesn’t seem to be some entitled princess with a self absorbed approach to dating.
 

LARaiders85

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#82
I guess I’m just not seeing where the ball dropped that far. A bit of disappointment, but I can tell you if you demote women as plates for something like this, you will only ever have plates.
People will disappoint you. Frame doesn’t prevent that from happening, it just shapes how you react to it.
I can understand if OP’s gf did something purposefully insensitive like deciding to go off on a weekend booze holiday with her friends when she could see him instead, or said she couldn’t meet with him then he found her posting stuff on Facebook about her shopping spree or her girlfriend brunch etc.

Could she of spent a bit of time? Yes. But he did say she 1) started an apprenticeship and 2) is remodeling something and there was a flood.
Oh and 3) she did offer to help him, even if it wasn’t in the way that he needed.

It would be nice if she went over to see him, of course. Maybe she is someone who can’t sort out how to manage time around certain things and make time to see others when she’s got sh*t going on, I don’t know. Maybe she can’t handle being around someone in pain, maybe she doesn’t know how to deal with it. None of the above is his problem of course. Who knows.
What I do know, based on what he posted, is that she doesn’t seem to be some entitled princess with a self absorbed approach to dating.
Women fall in love like 9 months in, he expects her to waste her free time nursing him on month 4? It's so strange.
 

RickTheToad

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#83
Women fall in love like 9 months in, he expects her to waste her free time nursing him on month 4? It's so strange.
Nurse? No. Not even close. Stopping by when she's 7 minutes away... I really do not think that is much to ask. Again, maybe it's me.
 

LARaiders85

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#84
Nurse? No. Not even close. Stopping by when she's 7 minutes away... I really do not think that is much to ask. Again, maybe it's me.
It is because she doesn't love you so why would she? I'm not saying a very good woman wouldn't do it but your expectations are naive
 

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HankHill

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#86
Women fall in love like 9 months in, he expects her to waste her free time nursing him on month 4? It's so strange.
Wut? Within the first 1-4 months the lust/infatuation is at its peak and they can't help but want to get close to you as quickly as possible so these things are perfect opportunities for them to show how caring they are. Even 2 months of regular dating is plenty to show concern and offer to bring food or help etc IF they want to be seen as a long term prospect.

On top of that let's not forget she lives only 10mins from him so I'm sure she can spare 20 mins from her 'extremely busy' schedule for a guy she expects to be in a relationship with...unless she doesn't. She's already tried to create jealousy and drama a few times and the whole thing around your profile being active etc about a month ago. It's not like one single occurrence, it's a pattern of bad behavior. As I said before she ain't the type of woman you want for a LTR, plate material only.
 

The Diver

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#87
OP, I did that operation. Stop making such a big deal out of it.
Yes, the pain bf the operation is a killer, but the operation is under general anesthetic, and you won't feel anything. After that, you'll have a night recovery, and then they will send you home with a catheter in your penis. You'll return to the hospital after a week or so to pull the catheter out.( not under anesthetic and 5 seconds painful.)
Yes, it's not pleasant, but I think you are concern yourself too much.. you're not going for heart surgery. kidney stone operation it pretty common one.
feel well.
 

RickTheToad

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#88
OP, I did that operation. Stop making such a big deal out of it.
Yes, the pain bf the operation is a killer, but the operation is under general anesthetic, and you won't feel anything. After that, you'll have a night recovery, and then they will send you home with a catheter in your penis. You'll return to the hospital after a week or so to pull the catheter out.( not under anesthetic and 5 seconds painful.)
Yes, it's not pleasant, but I think you are concern yourself too much.. you're not going for heart surgery. kidney stone operation it pretty common one.
feel well.
They're not going through the penis dude.
 

The Diver

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#89
They're not going through the penis dude.
From my understanding, you are not allowing them to go through your penis, and therefore they will cut you open to reach your kidneys, No?
Sounds to me much more complicated and risky, but this is your body ,,,,,,
 

RickTheToad

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#90
From my understanding, you are not allowing them to go through your penis, and therefore the will cut you open to reach your kidneys, No?
Sounds to me much more complicated and risky, but this is your body ,,,,,,
Micro incision. Statistically safer. In addition, there's multiple, so makes more sense Diver Dan.
 
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Howiestern

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#92
Do you think they would still do that if they had high interest?
Seems very risky to entertain other men to see if there are better fish out there while being with a great guy..
Ahh.....often when we use rational logic to diagnose an emotional creature we are left even more confused!

Now when have women ever been good at making good sound rational/non-emotional decisions? ;)

If this was me sitting around, I'd get on Tinder/Bumble and start swiping like crazy and get the next one lined up.

This girl is a flake. In times like this you throw their words out the window and go by their actions. He asked her to come see him over the course of 2wks or so and she hasn't found time, yet claims she wants to see him. Hmmm......she can fuhk off. She is full of schitt. Typical of how women handle things.

When you start to judge them by their actions and only that, things tend to get very clear!
 
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flowtheory

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#93
Ahh.....often when we use rational logic to diagnose an emotional creature we are left even more confused!

Now when have women ever been good at making good sound rational/non-emotional decisions? ;)

If this was me sitting around, I'd get on Tinder/Bumble and start swiping like crazy and get the next one lined up.

This girl is a flake. In times like this you throw their words out the window and go by their actions. He asked her to come see him over the course of 2wks or so and she hasn't found time, yet claims she wants to see him. Hmmm......she can fuhk off. She is full of schitt. Typical of how women handle things.

When you start to judge them by their actions and only that, things tend to get very clear!
Yea, true words.
 

LARaiders85

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#94
Wut? Within the first 1-4 months the lust/infatuation is at its peak and they can't help but want to get close to you as quickly as possible so these things are perfect opportunities for them to show how caring they are. Even 2 months of regular dating is plenty to show concern and offer to bring food or help etc IF they want to be seen as a long term prospect.

On top of that let's not forget she lives only 10mins from him so I'm sure she can spare 20 mins from her 'extremely busy' schedule for a guy she expects to be in a relationship with...unless she doesn't. She's already tried to create jealousy and drama a few times and the whole thing around your profile being active etc about a month ago. It's not like one single occurrence, it's a pattern of bad behavior. As I said before she ain't the type of woman you want for a LTR, plate material only.
Lust/infatuation is paper thin and always gets tested by obligation. obligation is the absolute killer of the honeymoon phase and the test of true love.

Cant speak to the online dating profile as I haven't read that thread but like I said she certainly is no Mother Theresa regardless.
 

sazc

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#95
I’m seeing you not communicating effectively with your gf and blaming her for that.

If you want something from her, communicate it. She should do the same for you. This pull away, complain, then wait for her to come back, then if she pulls away and you pull away stuff is the opposite of effective communication, which is kind of necessary in a successful relationship, if that’s your goal.

I’m not trying be difficult and I know you are dealing with some physically painful stuff that I can’t even imagine but try to see how your thought process and potential actions may make this worse than it has to be.
you are missing the fact that they are trying to be alpha in the relationship and find submissive feminine women. That involves a degree of telepathy on the woman's Part.

In short they want all their needs met without actually having to get vulnerable
 
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HankHill

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#96
Ahh.....often when we use rational logic to diagnose an emotional creature we are left even more confused!

Now when have women ever been good at making good sound rational/non-emotional decisions? ;)

If this was me sitting around, I'd get on Tinder/Bumble and start swiping like crazy and get the next one lined up.

This girl is a flake. In times like this you throw their words out the window and go by their actions. He asked her to come see him over the course of 2wks or so and she hasn't found time, yet claims she wants to see him. Hmmm......she can fuhk off. She is full of schitt. Typical of how women handle things.

When you start to judge them by their actions and only that, things tend to get very clear!
Well put man, exactly my thoughts!
 

lamath

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#97
you are missing the fact that they are trying to be alpha in the relationship and find submissive feminine women. That involves a degree of telepathy on the woman's Part.

In short they want all their needs met without actually having to get vulnerable
Being Alpha imo is owning up to your vulnerabilities and not giving a **** about it.

However from what i have experienced most of the time ngaf is hard and being vulnerable towards a women lower her IL. And her respect towards you

Its a fine line to walk
 

HankHill

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#98
you are missing the fact that they are trying to be alpha in the relationship and find submissive feminine women. That involves a degree of telepathy on the woman's Part.

In short they want all their needs met without actually having to get vulnerable
In Rosa Park's words Nah.

You can't communicate common sense or common decency, either people have it or they don't. I've had all decent women at least txt and ask me 'how're you feeling today, can I get you anything?' even when things weren't serious with them. Hell even my ex-wife (and we didn't see eye to eye) went to the store on her own and dropped off a bunch of medicine etc one time (she was in a steady relationship but I wasn't and she knew I didn't have family nearby). It's basic decency that this woman is missing...based on her other behaviors.

Plate material. The end.
 

LARaiders85

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#99
you are missing the fact that they are trying to be alpha in the relationship and find submissive feminine women. That involves a degree of telepathy on the woman's Part.

In short they want all their needs met without actually having to get vulnerable
Pay closer attention to who empath women are most likely to date and chase lol
 

HankHill

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Here's what my 3ish week woman sent last night. She's always trying to find ways to spend time with me. She's coming up to my work (40 mins drive for her) to meet me for lunch today because I told her I can't see her this weekend. Even when I told her I'd have to let her know if I'm free for lunch today she's still baking banana bread. That's LTR material.
 

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