Starting to see some distance, or it could just be my thinking

HankHill

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#41
Driving you to the ER (but leaving you to Uber back, wtf?) is a bit pathetic for someone who cares or sees a serious relationship with you in the future. These are the times when people step up because they want to show they care. Definitely sounds like something's up, IMHO the best action is inaction, be cordial if she reaches out. Definitely accept her help if SHE offers to make and bring you chicken soup or to hang out and watch tv etc But other than that hang back and start seeing other women, as @Glassguy said you have the excuse of your medical situation in the event she tries to create drama but she has no valid excuse for hanging back.

Also, let's not forget this is the same woman who's been throwing in your face that her boss is hitting on her as well as other guys.
 
Last edited:

RickTheToad

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#42
Seems like you got things under control,
Imo you should continue doing what you are doing.

You are not doing anything passive/agressive
Seems the only choice. Interesting she's been silent the whole day. Yesterday, dozens of texts. Who knows..
 

RickTheToad

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#43
Driving you to the ER (but leaving you to Uber back, wtf?) is a bit pathetic for someone who cares or sees a serious relationship with you in the future. These are the times when people step up because they want to show they care. Definitely sounds like something's up, IMHO the best action is inaction, be cordial if she reaches out. Definitely accept her help if SHE offers to make and bring you chicken soup or to hang out and watch tv etc But other than that hang back and start seeing other women, as @Glassguy said you have the excuse of your medical situation in the event she tries to create drama but she has no valid excuse for hanging back.

Also, let's not forget this is the same woman who's been throwing in your face that her boss is hitting on her as well as other guys.
I am assuming it was because she had work the next day. Again, who knows. Yes, the proper thing would be to offer to take me and stay, but I guess that wasn't on the table or something. Maybe she didn't think of it. Some ladies are just lost in tunnel vision. However, I am sure if any lady who was going through kidney stones, they'd want their partner to not only take them to the hospital, but actually stay with them. I digress, perhaps I am asking for too much. Never heard of someone offering to take a person to the hospital and then leaving them there. I believe she offered to stay for an hour or two, but I do not recall. So, let's give her a point for that. I just thought it was a bit cold, that is all I am trying to portray. I am sure, she may not see it that way, but these are the facts. If it was reversed or with any other lady, I am damn sure they'd want the person with them. I can call an Uber or taxi myself. I did the later as a Taxi is cheaper than an Uber in Bridgeport, just the hospital sucks.

Yes, it would had been nice of her to offer to cook something (she's made little things in the past and brought them over) or just stopped by for an hour or two. What is even more weird was last week, she was telling me the progression of her ovulation cycle prior to the kidney stone issue. So, I'm totally confused on her actions. Therefore, I'm just going on radio silence. Again, she did say we'd hang out after her report was done. She said this Friday she was going to have to sit down with her mentor, so I suggested she stop by. She first said that was a good idea, but then said her sister wasn't able to watch her child overnight. She's apparently been there for most of the week. I just replied I guess we all need a break some times. That was my last time to offer something. I did offer something last week as well, but she was busy on this project. So, IDK.
 

RickTheToad

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#45
Do you often overthink and jump to conclusions which can be detrimental, Toad?
No. I go by actions. I do admit, I could be wrong, but I am just laying out the facts. I would just think a partner would show more action and inaction. I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't hear from her in a while. Then, out of no where, are you okay? Have not heard from you. IMO, when you tell someone labs are done and the prognosis, if you care a little about them, you'd be more active. Not be silent for hours and then suggest drinking more water. Then if you can believe it, tell me about her kitchen flooded and go into detail about it. Do you think anyone who's fighting kidney stones in both kidneys wants to hear about a small flood, (pipe at dishwasher wasn't closed correctly, so there's water all over the kitchen) when they are trying to clear kidney stones? It just seems insensitive. Again, as one of the other posters said, it could be the pain killers talking, but I wouldn't of handled it that way. But that is just me.
 

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sazc

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#46
Dude, I'm really sorry you're dealing with all of this, ugh ☹️
 

guru1000

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#47
Simple and straightforward.

IF a girl gives you distance, reward her with more distance.

IF she gives you time and attention, reward her with your time and attention.

Men have a tendency to forcefit their objectives upon women. This doesn't work well especially when her desire is not a constant and women are naturally whimsical directed by emotion.

Instead, be fluid, in accordance with the operating dynamic. That dynamic can change day to day, so a man of fluid intent and awareness, will act accordingly to effect the greatest advantage to any context brought before him.
 

RickTheToad

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#48
To add more stress to me, I just received a message from the Urologist and wants to submit the request to the insurance company for possible surgery next week if the stones do not pass. Of course, I was told to inform immediately of blocked or reduced flow of urine.

When the sh!t hits the fan... So, if/when she reaches out and says are you okay, I'll have a great update for her. Then, I'll get the why didn't you let me know line, I will simply say, you seemed preoccupied with your life, and your plate was full to the brim. She'll then say, that's not true. I will then respond with, then why did you ever not stop by to check on me instead of sending a text (she lives 10 minutes away - 7.4 miles)? Silence...

I will bet 100 bucks on it. Any takers?
 

RickTheToad

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#49
Simple and straightforward.

IF a girl gives you distance, reward her with more distance.

IF she gives you time and attention, reward her with your time and attention.

Men have a tendency to forcefit their objectives upon women. This doesn't work well especially when her desire is not a constant and women are naturally whimsical directed by emotion.

Instead, be fluid, in accordance with the operating dynamic. That dynamic can change day to day, so a man of fluid intent and awareness, will act accordingly to effect the greatest advantage to any context brought before him.
That's what I am doing. Loyalty is a thing long past these days.
 

guru1000

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#50
When the sh!t hits the fan... So, if/when she reaches out and says are you okay ...
<<==This is where you create silence and distance.

Never engage a woman's (serious) banter. You speak with actions, not words. Your ensuing answer is silence.

Until you stop the bickering and start engaging Silence and Distance when necessary, you will continue to struggle with women.

Nature made the rules. Conform or face a love life replete with challenges. Women are easy when you understand this concept of "challenge" and how to employ it when called upon.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

lamath

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#51
To add more stress to me, I just received a message from the Urologist and wants to submit the request to the insurance company for possible surgery next week if the stones do not pass. Of course, I was told to inform immediately of blocked or reduced flow of urine.

When the sh!t hits the fan... So, if/when she reaches out and says are you okay, I'll have a great update for her. Then, I'll get the why didn't you let me know line, I will simply say, you seemed preoccupied with your life, and your plate was full to the brim. She'll then say, that's not true. I will then respond with, then why did you ever not stop by to check on me instead of sending a text (she lives 10 minutes away - 7.4 miles)? Silence...

I will bet 100 bucks on it. Any takers?
Dont do that.
 

RickTheToad

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#52
<<==This is where you create silence and distance.

Never engage a woman's (serious) banter. You speak with actions, not words. Your ensuing answer is silence.

Until you stop the bickering and start engaging Silence and Distance when necessary, you will continue to struggle with women.

Nature made the rules. Conform or face a love life replete with challenges.
Yes, I didn't respond to her BS questions last night and just replied this morning that I am drinking a lot of water. She then sent me a voice message telling me to do the same. Silence since then.
 

sazc

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#54
What a stressful nightmare.

Do you have anyone else who can be with you? Family members? Good friends?
 

RickTheToad

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#55
What a stressful nightmare.

Do you have anyone else who can be with you? Family members? Good friends?
Not local. I'll be fine. Just, a lot at once. Just goes back to the old saying when sh!t hits the fan, you see who stands with you. As for me, well, no one local. I am sure some of the guys I work with will visit, but recently moved. There's the issue at hand.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

lamath

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#56
Two urologists concur. I cannot risk having kidney disease. I have little choice. The stones are over 10MM. To say I am concerned would be an understatement.
I dont mean this


When the sh!t hits the fan... So, if/when she reaches out and says are you okay, I'll have a great update for her. Then, I'll get the why didn't you let me know line, I will simply say, you seemed preoccupied with your life, and your plate was full to the brim. She'll then say, that's not true. I will then respond with, then why did you ever not stop by to check on me instead of sending a text (she lives 10 minutes away - 7.4 miles)? Silence...
This
I mean getting in her face will not help
 

flowtheory

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#58
No. I go by actions. I do admit, I could be wrong, but I am just laying out the facts. I would just think a partner would show more action and inaction. I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't hear from her in a while. Then, out of no where, are you okay? Have not heard from you. IMO, when you tell someone labs are done and the prognosis, if you care a little about them, you'd be more active. Not be silent for hours and then suggest drinking more water. Then if you can believe it, tell me about her kitchen flooded and go into detail about it. Do you think anyone who's fighting kidney stones in both kidneys wants to hear about a small flood, (pipe at dishwasher wasn't closed correctly, so there's water all over the kitchen) when they are trying to clear kidney stones? It just seems insensitive. Again, as one of the other posters said, it could be the pain killers talking, but I wouldn't of handled it that way. But that is just me.
So what is keeping you interested?
 
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