Starting to see some distance, or it could just be my thinking

AJ84

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#62
Yes, that's it... Please...
I’m seeing you not communicating effectively with your gf and blaming her for that.

If you want something from her, communicate it. She should do the same for you. This pull away, complain, then wait for her to come back, then if she pulls away and you pull away stuff is the opposite of effective communication, which is kind of necessary in a successful relationship, if that’s your goal.

I’m not trying be difficult and I know you are dealing with some physically painful stuff that I can’t even imagine but try to see how your thought process and potential actions may make this worse than it has to be.
 

RickTheToad

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#63
Fight the kidney stones
But dont fight GF

Do what guru said
Ita great advice
Understood and that is what I'm going to do.


I’m seeing you not communicating effectively with your gf and blaming her for that.

If you want something from her, communicate it. She should do the same for you. This pull away, complain, then wait for her to come back, then if she pulls away and you pull away stuff is the opposite of effective communication, which is kind of necessary in a successful relationship, if that’s your goal.

I’m not trying be difficult and I know you are dealing with some physically painful stuff that I can’t even imagine but try to see how your thought process and potential actions may make this worse than it has to be.
I did say twice I'd like to see you, once this week and once last. She said she's busy last week for the assignment she's doing. I've told you already this week what she said so far. How many times can I say, I'd like to see you? I feel like a fool in doing in repeating on and on. I shouldn't have to ask to see a lady I am dating. If you cannot fit 1 hour or 2 in a week when you're 15 minutes away, then something is wrong. Now, obviously, I am not going to ask, is something wrong? As we all know, the response and it's a means to an end.
 

lamath

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#64
Understood and that is what I'm going to do.




I did say twice I'd like to see you, once this week and once last. She said she's busy last week for the assignment she's doing. I've told you already this week what she said so far. How many times can I say, I'd like to see you? I feel like a fool in doing in repeating on and on. I shouldn't have to ask to see a lady I am dating. If you cannot fit 1 hour or 2 in a week when you're 15 minutes away, then something is wrong. Now, obviously, I am not going to ask, is something wrong? As we all know, the response and it's a means to an end.
Seems like you know what to do.

Men hitting on on her is going to her head thats what i think
 

LARaiders85

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#65
It's too early in dating for you to be this entitled to her support this early. Likewise, virtually all women will withdraw at SOME point during the first 3-6 months of dating, occasionally a pure sh1t test too (have had this admitted to me).

Do not react with the needy passive aggressive comments to intend to make. Women always see through passive aggressive behavior and really despise it as feminine. Unfortunately the cognitive dissonance of trying to bottle things up to be masculine is a recipe for this but you have to be firm.

Nowpulls this stuff a year in, different story.

Having said that, obviously she is not the nurturing type or some unicorn, just sort of the basic average woman. No loss if she disappears entirely.
 

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flowtheory

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#66
It's too early in dating for you to be this entitled to her support this early. Likewise, virtually all women will withdraw at SOME point during the first 3-6 months of dating, occasionally a pure sh1t test too (have had this admitted to me).

Do not react with the needy passive aggressive comments to intend to make. Women always see through passive aggressive behavior and really despise it as feminine. Unfortunately the cognitive dissonance of trying to bottle things up to be masculine is a recipe for this but you have to be firm.

Nowpulls this stuff a year in, different story.

Having said that, obviously she is not the nurturing type or some unicorn, just sort of the basic average woman. No loss if she disappears entirely.
Good post.

Why do women pull away as a sh!t test during the first 3-6 months?
 

AJ84

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#67
Understood and that is what I'm going to do.




I did say twice I'd like to see you, once this week and once last. She said she's busy last week for the assignment she's doing. I've told you already this week what she said so far. How many times can I say, I'd like to see you? I feel like a fool in doing in repeating on and on. I shouldn't have to ask to see a lady I am dating. If you cannot fit 1 hour or 2 in a week when you're 15 minutes away, then something is wrong. Now, obviously, I am not going to ask, is something wrong? As we all know, the response and it's a means to an end.
My apologies I’m going by the situation with the kidney stones and how you would of liked to see her at present.
 

lamath

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#68
My apologies I’m going by the situation with the kidney stones and how you would of liked to see her at present.

Its sad that things in a relationship can go south that fast for no apparent reason.
Idk if this os hypergamy but to me it lacks integrity and loyalty

I seriously think that orbiters are the reason for it
 

flowtheory

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#69
Its sad that things in a relationship can go south that fast for no apparent reason.
Idk if this os hypergamy but to me it lacks integrity and loyalty

I seriously think that orbiters are the reason for it
Happens all the time. This is the lust stage slowly coming to a close... her interest could have never been super high to begin with for a long term relationship; Christmas is near, end of the year, many re-examine this time of the year.
 
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flowtheory

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#72
Another guy to "test" her emotions, another guy for fun or a better option, or as a test to see if you are insecure and needy, tests your congruence.
Do you think they would still do that if they had high interest?
Seems very risky to entertain other men to see if there are better fish out there while being with a great guy..
 

lamath

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#73
I think a man need to ask himself this question
Is this women good enough for you.
Imo she is not.
 

LARaiders85

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#74
Do you think they would still do that if they had high interest?
Seems very risky to entertain other men to see if there are better fish out there while being with a great guy..
The high interest will still entertain but not be as reckless with the distance for fear of losing you, they will be paranoid you will find someone else. I had high interest test me like this before though.
 

HankHill

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#75
@RickTheToad while she has sh!t tested you in the past I'm almost positive this is NOT a sh!t test. This is the type of person she is and after several months I would've expected more from her too if she wanted to be my gf. I like the caring girly-girl types. Me? I'd just treat her like a plate and nothing more.
 
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lamath

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#76
@RickTheToad while she has sh!t tested you in the past I'm almost positive this is NOT a sh!t test. This is the type of a person she is and after several months I would've expected more from her too if she wanted to be my gf. I like the caring girly-girl types. Me? I'd just treat her like a plate and nothing more.
Demote her to plate
 

flowtheory

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#77
The high interest will still entertain but not be as reckless with the distance for fear of losing you, they will be paranoid you will find someone else. I had high interest test me like this before though.
So women will always entertain other men? Even in the same vicinity as you? To see how you will handle yourself?
 

RickTheToad

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#78
They called in better pain killers, I am not is as much pain now. I do not plan to do or say anything. I think a lot is the pain talking, but I have 30 pills of Vicodin, so I'm in a better place. It will be what it will be. Not going to overreact.
 

RickTheToad

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#79
So women will always entertain other men? Even in the same vicinity as you? To see how you will handle yourself?
Most always look for upgrades. When the chips are down, the one's who stick by you are the rare ones. I've found in the past that no emotional reaction is the best method. I may piss and moan here, but when the pain subsided a bit I was able to regain my composure. When you show you don't give a fvck, that is usually best. I know this, but the pain got the better of me over the past few days. Even I have my limits on how much pain I can absorb and still have a clear head.
 

LARaiders85

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#80
So women will always entertain other men? Even in the same vicinity as you? To see how you will handle yourself?
The good ones will let the other men fade out. I'm talking about hot women during the non-exclusive dating phase.
 
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