Hi all 3rd date - back to my house after park walk - lots of touching, grabbing etc her saying can’t believe I’ve met you - had to log on for some work - kept coming over getting close - I picked her up, lifted her onto sofa then getting heavy - had to go back to work. Cooled a bit but then raised comfort levels - warming up again but then a work emergency distracting me for 20 mins. - moment gone said she wanted to go home (twice) - didn’t press so gave her lift to station Text today with shared reference - got a laugh but decline dinner invite . - said we’ll meet again in 3 weeks after her finals - leave for a few days and then say let’ go somewhere to take mind off studies for an afternoon?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Situation
- Thread starter Elliot
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
BillyPilgrim
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If it's three dates in and she's using her mouth to say "I can't believe I've met you" instead of using it to gag herself with ****, it's not a good sign.
SW15
Master Don Juan
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No woman who is serious postpones for 3 weeks due to final exams. Also, you're 48. I would think most women you'd date would be past undergraduate and graduate school.
Hey SW15 - she’s actually 38 - exams finish 12th June I think. 2nd date she told me how stressed she was (sleepness nights) - that and switch from very on to cooling down due to my work distraction not great indicators - will suggest a de-stress massage next week and then pass if not positive response
BillyPilgrim
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The massage is a good idea. I'd pitch it as a non-sensual massage (which you can always escalate) to see where she's at.
Women who lurch between hot and cold extremes are annoying AF imo.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
BackInTheGame78
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Why would you schedule a date when you had to be involved with work?
Really bad move OP.
A guy who is obsessed with work is a turnoff
Really bad move OP.
A guy who is obsessed with work is a turnoff
BillyPilgrim
Master Don Juan
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Can't speak for the OP but sounds like he has an on-call type of job
BackInTheGame78
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Damn...that really is going to put a damper on your dating life.
Yeah, its somewhat understandable if you have an on call job.
With women, you do need to strike while the iron is hot. The window often times is much smaller than you think to make things happen.
You should never assume that there will be an opportunity.
With women, you do need to strike while the iron is hot. The window often times is much smaller than you think to make things happen.
You should never assume that there will be an opportunity.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
RBK
Senior Don Juan
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- 43
With a new girl I really believe you get ONE chance and if you **** up that one chance its very hard to circle back unless her interst is stupid high. I can count like 20 women I should of banged that had high interest and that interest fell off a cliff when I didn't strike. Girls do not like feeling rejected. (Hence why they don't approach men).
That's why you have to bang them good or they forget about you.
That's why you have to bang them good or they forget about you.
bat soup
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I think the problem here is -
RazorRambo24
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Another prime example of a situation where its not even worth thinking or talking about.. because nothing really happened. theres no reason to analyze or overanalyze.. you met a chick you like, you know you can bang, right now things are keeping both you distracted for a bit.. its cool, no biggie.
never overcomplicate things
never overcomplicate things
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Hi Elliot,
".... just spent a month together in Thailand and Vietnam ‘catching up’ "Mate that's like taking a Ham Sandwich to a Wedding.
".... just spent a month together in Thailand and Vietnam ‘catching up’ "Mate that's like taking a Ham Sandwich to a Wedding.