Hi all 3rd date - back to my house after park walk - lots of touching, grabbing etc her saying can’t believe I’ve met you - had to log on for some work - kept coming over getting close - I picked her up, lifted her onto sofa then getting heavy - had to go back to work. Cooled a bit but then raised comfort levels - warming up again but then a work emergency distracting me for 20 mins. - moment gone said she wanted to go home (twice) - didn’t press so gave her lift to station Text today with shared reference - got a laugh but decline dinner invite . - said we’ll meet again in 3 weeks after her finals - leave for a few days and then say let’ go somewhere to take mind off studies for an afternoon?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Situation
- Thread starter Elliot
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
BillyPilgrim
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If it's three dates in and she's using her mouth to say "I can't believe I've met you" instead of using it to gag herself with ****, it's not a good sign.
SW15
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No woman who is serious postpones for 3 weeks due to final exams. Also, you're 48. I would think most women you'd date would be past undergraduate and graduate school.
Hey SW15 - she’s actually 38 - exams finish 12th June I think. 2nd date she told me how stressed she was (sleepness nights) - that and switch from very on to cooling down due to my work distraction not great indicators - will suggest a de-stress massage next week and then pass if not positive response
BillyPilgrim
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The massage is a good idea. I'd pitch it as a non-sensual massage (which you can always escalate) to see where she's at.
Women who lurch between hot and cold extremes are annoying AF imo.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
BackInTheGame78
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Why would you schedule a date when you had to be involved with work?
Really bad move OP.
A guy who is obsessed with work is a turnoff
Really bad move OP.
A guy who is obsessed with work is a turnoff
BillyPilgrim
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Can't speak for the OP but sounds like he has an on-call type of job
BackInTheGame78
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Damn...that really is going to put a damper on your dating life.
Yeah, its somewhat understandable if you have an on call job.
With women, you do need to strike while the iron is hot. The window often times is much smaller than you think to make things happen.
You should never assume that there will be an opportunity.
With women, you do need to strike while the iron is hot. The window often times is much smaller than you think to make things happen.
You should never assume that there will be an opportunity.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
RBK
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With a new girl I really believe you get ONE chance and if you **** up that one chance its very hard to circle back unless her interst is stupid high. I can count like 20 women I should of banged that had high interest and that interest fell off a cliff when I didn't strike. Girls do not like feeling rejected. (Hence why they don't approach men).
That's why you have to bang them good or they forget about you.
That's why you have to bang them good or they forget about you.
bat soup
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I think the problem here is -
RazorRambo24
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Another prime example of a situation where its not even worth thinking or talking about.. because nothing really happened. theres no reason to analyze or overanalyze.. you met a chick you like, you know you can bang, right now things are keeping both you distracted for a bit.. its cool, no biggie.
never overcomplicate things
never overcomplicate things
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Hi Elliot,
".... just spent a month together in Thailand and Vietnam ‘catching up’ "Mate that's like taking a Ham Sandwich to a Wedding.
".... just spent a month together in Thailand and Vietnam ‘catching up’ "Mate that's like taking a Ham Sandwich to a Wedding.