Hi all 3rd date - back to my house after park walk - lots of touching, grabbing etc her saying can’t believe I’ve met you - had to log on for some work - kept coming over getting close - I picked her up, lifted her onto sofa then getting heavy - had to go back to work. Cooled a bit but then raised comfort levels - warming up again but then a work emergency distracting me for 20 mins. - moment gone said she wanted to go home (twice) - didn’t press so gave her lift to station Text today with shared reference - got a laugh but decline dinner invite . - said we’ll meet again in 3 weeks after her finals - leave for a few days and then say let’ go somewhere to take mind off studies for an afternoon?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Situation
- Thread starter Elliot
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
BillyPilgrim
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If it's three dates in and she's using her mouth to say "I can't believe I've met you" instead of using it to gag herself with ****, it's not a good sign.
SW15
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No woman who is serious postpones for 3 weeks due to final exams. Also, you're 48. I would think most women you'd date would be past undergraduate and graduate school.
Hey SW15 - she’s actually 38 - exams finish 12th June I think. 2nd date she told me how stressed she was (sleepness nights) - that and switch from very on to cooling down due to my work distraction not great indicators - will suggest a de-stress massage next week and then pass if not positive response
BillyPilgrim
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The massage is a good idea. I'd pitch it as a non-sensual massage (which you can always escalate) to see where she's at.
Women who lurch between hot and cold extremes are annoying AF imo.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
BackInTheGame78
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Why would you schedule a date when you had to be involved with work?
Really bad move OP.
A guy who is obsessed with work is a turnoff
Really bad move OP.
A guy who is obsessed with work is a turnoff
BillyPilgrim
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Can't speak for the OP but sounds like he has an on-call type of job
BackInTheGame78
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Damn...that really is going to put a damper on your dating life.
Yeah, its somewhat understandable if you have an on call job.
With women, you do need to strike while the iron is hot. The window often times is much smaller than you think to make things happen.
You should never assume that there will be an opportunity.
With women, you do need to strike while the iron is hot. The window often times is much smaller than you think to make things happen.
You should never assume that there will be an opportunity.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
RBK
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With a new girl I really believe you get ONE chance and if you **** up that one chance its very hard to circle back unless her interst is stupid high. I can count like 20 women I should of banged that had high interest and that interest fell off a cliff when I didn't strike. Girls do not like feeling rejected. (Hence why they don't approach men).
That's why you have to bang them good or they forget about you.
That's why you have to bang them good or they forget about you.
bat soup
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I think the problem here is -
RazorRambo24
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Another prime example of a situation where its not even worth thinking or talking about.. because nothing really happened. theres no reason to analyze or overanalyze.. you met a chick you like, you know you can bang, right now things are keeping both you distracted for a bit.. its cool, no biggie.
never overcomplicate things
never overcomplicate things
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Hi Elliot,
".... just spent a month together in Thailand and Vietnam ‘catching up’ "Mate that's like taking a Ham Sandwich to a Wedding.
".... just spent a month together in Thailand and Vietnam ‘catching up’ "Mate that's like taking a Ham Sandwich to a Wedding.