hjsknksbm
Don Juan
Should a guy pay on the first date?
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Should a guy pay on the first date? (Poll)
- Thread starter hjsknksbm
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
diablo
Master Don Juan
I would at least make the offer... It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Omni
Don Juan
Whoever pays gains power and control (unless the other person is a golddigger, in which case RUN).
kixs
Don Juan
I belive that the one who invites should pay - usually man! So in any case, 1st date should be casual ( coffee or something ) and it isn't expensive in any case!
If you're doing something more expensive like a dinner... then I woud pay 1/2 + drinks. If going to the movies, I would pay for the movie and she would for the drinks.
Something like that!
bye
If you're doing something more expensive like a dinner... then I woud pay 1/2 + drinks. If going to the movies, I would pay for the movie and she would for the drinks.
Something like that!
bye
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Crank_It_Up
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2004
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On a first date, if you asked her out, you should pay... if she isn't worth it, why did you ask her out to begin with? If you can't pay, stop reading this forum and get a job.
I disagree. If I buy a girl things that doesn't give me power, it just shows that I'm willing to do things for her. That's bad.
I wouldn't pay at all. She should have a job and should pay for herself. As for that "whoever invited should pay" bull****, do you really think a woman who asked you out would pay for you?
The problem is, society as a whole still expects men to pay so you can either try to change that one girl at a time (and appear to most as poor or cheap) or just go along with the inconvenience.
Also, the only girls that will expect you to pay for everything are golddiggers. If you pay for the first date, nearly every girl will offer to pay for something else down the line.
( . )( . )
Banned
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
I heard that if you invite a girl out to drinks or coffee, you should offer to pay. If a lunch date I have no idea. As for a real eveing date the guy should pay. But, you shouldn't be going on dates untill after you've had sex with her.
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 16, 2003
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- 1,520
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I have never ever inn my whole life paid for anything for a girl except female friends and family. Actually most first dates have been the girl treating wine, cooking dinner or whatever. And it's always worked out great 
So my logic is, aslong as you haven't made it like that (asking her out to a special type of treat) then don't.
So my logic is, aslong as you haven't made it like that (asking her out to a special type of treat) then don't.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
Here's my situation. I'm getting pretty close to my oneitis girl. We talk every day and walk togther to the parking lot after class. Next time I see her; next, next Monday I'm either going get her phone number or have her come to lunch with me.
If we get lunch should I offer to pay for her? There's also a chance that her girlfriend might come along as well since they are almost allways togther. In that situation its generally assumed that everybody would pay for themselves right? They won't expect me to pay for the both of them.
If we get lunch should I offer to pay for her? There's also a chance that her girlfriend might come along as well since they are almost allways togther. In that situation its generally assumed that everybody would pay for themselves right? They won't expect me to pay for the both of them.
( . )( . )
Banned
I think your at the wrong place mate.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
So? If I can end up making her a ƒuck buddy it would be amazing. BTW I am doing somebody else already but its not consistent enough.
The thought of haveing constant sex with a hot 18 year old is something I can't pass up.
The thought of haveing constant sex with a hot 18 year old is something I can't pass up.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Crank_It_Up
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2004
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- 546
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lol, where did you get this idea?
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
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- 47
Yes, but you shouldn't end up spending a lot on the first date anyway, so it shouldn't matter. If you did, you lost control of the date. (been there, done this)
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
I think I read about it here or at Fast Seduction and also in several seduction eBooks I've read.
Spending a lot of money on her is not going to get her to sleep with you. It may even have the opposite effect and she might hold off on sex because she sees you as a long term guy.
( . )( . )
Banned
he was dead right, yes guys USED to reward/buy chicks in the past for a way to get her to fvck, this no longer has the effectiveness it once did.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.