"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Should a guy pay on the first date? (Poll)

Should a guy pay for the first date?

  • yes

    Votes: 43 55.8%
  • no

    Votes: 34 44.2%

  • Total voters
    77

hjsknksbm

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2003
Messages
90
Reaction score
0
Age
42
Location
Tallahassee/Cleveland
Should a guy pay on the first date?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

alboh

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2002
Messages
685
Reaction score
1
I think if you're doing something really informal like grabbing coffee or some drinks, it should be 50/50.
 

kixs

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 11, 2002
Messages
28
Reaction score
0
Location
SI, Europe
I belive that the one who invites should pay - usually man! So in any case, 1st date should be casual ( coffee or something ) and it isn't expensive in any case!

If you're doing something more expensive like a dinner... then I woud pay 1/2 + drinks. If going to the movies, I would pay for the movie and she would for the drinks.

Something like that!

bye
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Crank_It_Up

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
546
Reaction score
1
On a first date, if you asked her out, you should pay... if she isn't worth it, why did you ask her out to begin with? If you can't pay, stop reading this forum and get a job.
 

S0LID

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2004
Messages
944
Reaction score
1
Age
41
Ha ha no way, you wannabe the guy her buys her stuff then go ahead. Do it once she'll expect it. Women have fighted for equal rights for years now they have it!
 

Porky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2003
Messages
1,474
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Omni
Whoever pays gains power and control (unless the other person is a golddigger, in which case RUN).
I disagree. If I buy a girl things that doesn't give me power, it just shows that I'm willing to do things for her. That's bad.

I wouldn't pay at all. She should have a job and should pay for herself. As for that "whoever invited should pay" bull****, do you really think a woman who asked you out would pay for you?
 

blienk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2003
Messages
543
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by S0LID
Ha ha no way, you wannabe the guy her buys her stuff then go ahead. Do it once she'll expect it. Women have fighted for equal rights for years now they have it!
The problem is, society as a whole still expects men to pay so you can either try to change that one girl at a time (and appear to most as poor or cheap) or just go along with the inconvenience.

Also, the only girls that will expect you to pay for everything are golddiggers. If you pay for the first date, nearly every girl will offer to pay for something else down the line.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
3,198
Reaction score
31
Location
Kalifornicatia
I heard that if you invite a girl out to drinks or coffee, you should offer to pay. If a lunch date I have no idea. As for a real eveing date the guy should pay. But, you shouldn't be going on dates untill after you've had sex with her.
 

Kineti[C]harm

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2003
Messages
1,520
Reaction score
2
I have never ever inn my whole life paid for anything for a girl except female friends and family. Actually most first dates have been the girl treating wine, cooking dinner or whatever. And it's always worked out great :)

So my logic is, aslong as you haven't made it like that (asking her out to a special type of treat) then don't.
 

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
3,198
Reaction score
31
Location
Kalifornicatia
Here's my situation. I'm getting pretty close to my oneitis girl. We talk every day and walk togther to the parking lot after class. Next time I see her; next, next Monday I'm either going get her phone number or have her come to lunch with me.

If we get lunch should I offer to pay for her? There's also a chance that her girlfriend might come along as well since they are almost allways togther. In that situation its generally assumed that everybody would pay for themselves right? They won't expect me to pay for the both of them.
 

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
3,198
Reaction score
31
Location
Kalifornicatia
So? If I can end up making her a ƒuck buddy it would be amazing. BTW I am doing somebody else already but its not consistent enough.

The thought of haveing constant sex with a hot 18 year old is something I can't pass up.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

OzzyBoy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 15, 2002
Messages
332
Reaction score
0
I wouldn't pay but i might pay occasionally if she has been good on dates afterwards.
 

Crank_It_Up

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
546
Reaction score
1
Originally posted by Maxtro
...you shouldn't be going on dates untill after you've had sex with her.
lol, where did you get this idea?
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Yes, but you shouldn't end up spending a lot on the first date anyway, so it shouldn't matter. If you did, you lost control of the date. (been there, done this)
 

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
3,198
Reaction score
31
Location
Kalifornicatia
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
lol, where did you get this idea?
I think I read about it here or at Fast Seduction and also in several seduction eBooks I've read.

Spending a lot of money on her is not going to get her to sleep with you. It may even have the opposite effect and she might hold off on sex because she sees you as a long term guy.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top