Remote work not doing me any favors

[DonJefe19]

I've been working remote for the past 6 years. I enjoy the benefits. Even when I was in college, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want end up like everyone else having to be at a place, at a certain time, for said duration, and have to deal with everyone else in traffic for an hour of my life. However, of all the benefits that comes with it, it doesn't help my social life all that much.

It's not like I don't leave the house when the work day is over. I go to the gym like everyone else and also do competitive dance as I travel around the country to compete. However, I do spend a lot time at the ballroom studio (3-4 times a week) to prepare for our competitions. On the other hand, I don't really do much outside of that.

I'm grateful I'm able to to work the way I can. Although, even with the activities I do outside of work, I still feel like a recluse.

Just curious if anybody else who works remotely have figured out ways to get out of that mindset?

 

[Plinco]

First thing I would do in that situation is outline exactly what I'm looking for.

We know you like to dance. What kind of people do you want to be around? How often? How far are you willing to go?

I would just plan it and do it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The ballroom dancing may not be doing you many favors either.

 

[BPH]

@DonJefe19 I think I made this suggestion when we had our call all that time ago, along with suggesting the same to several other members:

Go out to bars late on weekends and talk to women.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I've been working remote for the past 6 years. I enjoy the benefits. Even when I was in college, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want end up like everyone else having to be at a place, at a certain time, for said duration, and have to deal with everyone else in traffic for an hour of my life. However, of all the benefits that comes with it, it doesn't help my social life all that much.

It's not like I don't leave the house when the work day is over. I go to the gym like everyone else and also do competitive dance as I travel around the country to compete. However, I do spend a lot time at the ballroom studio (3-4 times a week) to prepare for our competitions. On the other hand, I don't really do much outside of that.

I'm grateful I'm able to to work the way I can. Although, even with the activities I do outside of work, I still feel like a recluse.

Just curious if anybody else who works remotely have figured out ways to get out of that mindset?

I found WFH to be extremely depressing tbh, when I did it longer term.

It was worse for my MH than the jail of the office in the end, as I was stuck in my spare room all day. (During Covid)

If you can, take the laptop and go sit in a cafe or library where there are people to interact with and have some banter with.

Or if it’s an option , just move to a cheaper country and live like a King!

 

[nicksaiz65]

WFH is a blessing. It could be worse. You could be playing the office politics.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I’ve been WFH my whole life and I have never had any issues stem from that. Sounds like you are digging for excuses IMHO.

 

[itouchyou]

I've had this exact same problem. I was remote from 2020 to 2025. I ended up going back to an office, but only 3 days a week.

I think WFH is only doable if you really enjoy your home, meaning you have a nice view, and you're in a big city.

I will say that WFH was much more bearable when I was living in NYC. There was constant background noise and I could go outside anytime just to be around people.

If you're out in the suburbs somewhere it's torture.

 

[Solomon]

WFH is a blessing. It could be worse. You could be playing the office politics.

I love working from home I don't miss the 36-minute one-way commute at all, espeically in wintertime
I have more time for myself in the mornings, and used to walk a lot before work and still do at times

Does it get lonely sometimes? you bet it does but right now my dad is visiting me and cooking, so I can't complain love my generous boomer father ha ha

 

[nicksaiz65]

I love working from home I don't miss the 36-minute one-way commute at all, espeically in wintertime
I have more time for myself in the mornings, and used to walk a lot before work and still do at times

Does it get lonely sometimes? you bet it does but right now my dad is visiting me and cooking, so I can't complain love my generous boomer father ha ha

I feel ya. I never really felt loneliness from it. I don’t think that should come from work personally. Your fulfillment should come from outside it.

I’ve always viewed work as a tool to live the lifestyle you want. So you get your ish done, close the laptop, live your life. Unfortunately, it costs money to live on this planet so work is just the tax we all pay.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I work remotely and love it...I have virtually unlimited freedom during the day...if I need to go do something, I just let them know I have x going on and it's no big deal.

Everyone else is the same, and we are extremely efficient and get a ton of work done. We actually are kind of the golden child team for the company that everyone else gets compared to, to be honest.

Our company is full remote so everyone has the same opportunity, I just don't think they work in the same way as we do that enabled us to be so much more efficient than them.

You can't work the same way remotely as you do in person. You have to adapt.

For me, I bought a stand up desk and walking pad and get in 20K steps a day during work hours and a work out in either before work or on my lunch break most days. Or do cardio early and then workout on lunch if I have that on the schedule.

The key thing is I am taking care of a lot of outside things/fitness related things that I wouldn't normally be able to do during/before work hours so that leaves my after work time pretty much open.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I work remotely and love it...I have virtually unlimited freedom during the day...if I need to go do something, I just let them know I have x going on and it's no big deal.

Everyone else is the same, and we are extremely efficient and get a ton of work done. We actually are kind of the golden child team for the company that everyone else gets compared to, to be honest.

Our company is full remote so everyone has the same opportunity, I just don't think they work in the same way as we do that enabled us to be so much more efficient than them.

You can't work the same way remotely as you do in person. You have to adapt.

For me, I bought a stand up desk and walking pad and get in 20K steps a day during work hours and a work out in either before work or on my lunch break most days. Or do cardio early and then workout on lunch if I have that on the schedule.

The key thing is I am taking care of a lot of outside things/fitness related things that I wouldn't normally be able to do during/before work hours so that leaves my after work time pretty much open.

Yep, the flexibility. It’s great to be able to whip up a home cooked high protein meal on your lunch break instead of your coworkers wanting to eat out for the 4th time this week. Lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yep, the flexibility. It’s great to be able to whip up a home cooked high protein meal on your lunch break instead of your coworkers wanting to eat out for the 4th time this week. Lol.

I keep my meals very simple and focused around 70-80 core foods that I rotate throughout the week.

 

[DonJefe19]

@DonJefe19 I think I made this suggestion when we had our call all that time ago, along with suggesting the same to several other members:

Go out to bars late on weekends and talk to women.

Bars aren't really fun for me anymore. Maybe because I'm practically in my 40s now, it doesn't have the same appeal like it did before. Does the point of the advice not apply? Of course not, it most certainly applies and I'm not trying to dodge it. but it'd be much preferred if it was a different type of venue or activity.

 

[DonJefe19]

I've had this exact same problem. I was remote from 2020 to 2025. I ended up going back to an office, but only 3 days a week.

I think WFH is only doable if you really enjoy your home, meaning you have a nice view, and you're in a big city.

I will say that WFH was much more bearable when I was living in NYC. There was constant background noise and I could go outside anytime just to be around people.

If you're out in the suburbs somewhere it's torture.

My living situation is actually quite perfect. I'm not in a big city anymore. Got tired of the neo-bolsheviks starting s8t in 2020 and ended up moving out to a surrounding county the very next year because the hardcore Christians and hillbillies were a lot safer to be around. The city is much smaller and even though it has things to do - it's far more limited compared to where I was living before.

That's another thing that I think is my problem - I feel very alienated from everybody because of the ideological climate. Even in the town I'm living in currently, most of the attractive women I've encountered are so in-trench with marxist ideology that it turns me off.

 

[DonJefe19]

What kind of people do you want to be around? How often? How far are you willing to go?

Who aren't worshipping statism. I found it really hard to find women who aren't insane like this

 

[Plinco]

Who aren't worshipping statism. I found it really hard to find women who aren't insane like this

That's interesting. Most of the women where I live aren't like that, but then again I live in Florida.

In my experience, if the woman likes you enough she'll become more sympathetic to your views, or maybe you could go overseas.

 

[itouchyou]

My living situation is actually quite perfect. I'm not in a big city anymore. Got tired of the neo-bolsheviks starting s8t in 2020 and ended up moving out to a surrounding county the very next year because the hardcore Christians and hillbillies were a lot safer to be around. The city is much smaller and even though it has things to do - it's far more limited compared to where I was living before.

That's another thing that I think is my problem - I feel very alienated from everybody because of the ideological climate. Even in the town I'm living in currently, most of the attractive women I've encountered are so in-trench with marxist ideology that it turns me off.

After being back in the office, I've found that I don't really give a **** about meeting people at work anyways. I work with a bunch of guys in their 20s and they all seem to be on the spectrum at some level. Don't care about the various office events either.

Only benefit is having some type of routine to get me out of the house, and getting to dress nice and enjoying downtown instead of just waking up and hanging out at home.

 

[BPH]

Bars aren't really fun for me anymore. Maybe because I'm practically in my 40s now, it doesn't have the same appeal like it did before. Does the point of the advice not apply? Of course not, it most certainly applies and I'm not trying to dodge it. but it'd be much preferred if it was a different type of venue or activity.

I mean, which do you prefer more...meeting women, or staying within your comfort zone?

There are certainly higher-class bars where young professionals go, rather than college girls and frat boys. I don't particularly love driving an hour to go out in Philly either. But I know if I stay in and do nothing, I won't meet anyone.