Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Post-sex no contact

Snag87

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I've seen dating coaches advocate never being the first to initiate contact after sex. The reasoning being the first person to contact cedes control. If the girl never contacts you after you simply never speak to her again.

Any opinion on this strategy?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Billtx49

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The sex itself isn’t that much of a deal changer from your usual post date recontact procedure. If anything, I would say a few days more time than your usual 5-7 day or whatever recontact time, but next to four day recontact time will probably signal thirsty horndog to her, then the ‘you just want me for sex’ b.s. may start.…
 
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Depends how good the sex was! Just kidding, I've done both. Don't agree. If you have her an academy award winning performance I wouldn't worry about contact after.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Suave88

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I've seen dating coaches advocate never being the first to initiate contact after sex. The reasoning being the first person to contact cedes control. If the girl never contacts you after you simply never speak to her again.

Any opinion on this strategy?
I am my own school. If I liked the sex and I am sure she liked me. You bet I will call her back. The time I wait depends. However, in my experience, I don't call, I just go see her.
 

Serenity

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To say that contacting someone is a forfeit of control is outright ridiculous, although still true for those who believe it is so and act in accordance with their silly beliefs. Example, a guy believes he will lose his control by contacting a woman, if he does so he will have ruined his own confidence and act in ways to give her all the control. He could have chosen to assert control at any point after that action, but didn't because he was deluded by his own false belief without recognizing it.

It's basic self sabotage. Easily preventable and who contacts who first is irrelevant when it's recognized that there's a choice for every passing moment, to assert oneself or voluntarily become a doormat.

We do this to ourselves and many don't see the deeper cause of failure, assuming it's something shallow like "it's because I reached out first".
 

Bokanovsky

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I've seen dating coaches advocate never being the first to initiate contact after sex. The reasoning being the first person to contact cedes control. If the girl never contacts you after you simply never speak to her again.

Any opinion on this strategy?
Honestly, I think this is BS. Many women are insecure and might think that you not reaching out first is a sign that the sex was bad. And let's face, most of us guys have done that - going NC after sex because something turned us off.

At the end of the day, if she's into you, you will not "cede control" unless you do something stupid, like acting needy or insecure.
 

old_skoolr

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In my experience, the first time I've slept with a girl, they've ALWAYS messaged me the next day.

It's only when sex is a consistent thing that they stop messaging me the next day.
 
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