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Pep talk needed - GF cheated

Baibars

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I think it also depends on the circumstances. 1 year relationship with a random chick you didn't share much with is different than a marriage where kids are involved. The exit is far easier in OP's situation and he should be grateful that she disqualified herself from his life.
 

TheProspect

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This thread, because of all the really good high-quality advice in the replies, is one of the best threads I have ever read on SoSuave... and probably the best regarding breakups, specifically when cheating is involved.

This is what this forum is for. :up:
 

jimwho

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Good for you op, staying busy and keeping your man card. This thread taught me that we've all been there and I will
Share some humor. My LTR ended and I was on day four sitting in my backyard drinking feeling all butthurt. My Basset hound jumped up on the bench, looked at me and barked. Why do I Tell you this? Because my dog never ever barked.
I thanked her, gave her a hug and knew it was over because even my dog knew I was simping!
 

LARaiders85

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Good for you op, staying busy and keeping your man card. This thread taught me that we've all been there and I will
Share some humor. My LTR ended and I was on day four sitting in my backyard drinking feeling all butthurt. My Basset hound jumped up on the bench, looked at me and barked. Why do I Tell you this? Because my dog never ever barked.
I thanked her, gave her a hug and knew it was over because even my dog knew I was simping!
A basset that doesnt bark?!?!
 

mrgoodstuff

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Fully agree with both of you, @Barrister and @mrgoodstuff. Initially is good but you can't harbor on it too long and eventually have to move forward.
The biggest thing that separates out real men from feminists is that feminists always lives in the past crying and playing victim role.

OP, as I've said before in other threads, you can let a bad situation like this defeat you, define you, or strengthen you. Don't be like a feminist and let it defeat and define you. Let this strengthen you and move forward.
Very fvcking good point. That particular group would use this one incident to harden and weaponize themselves against all men. Instead of letting it go getting better and move on.
 

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TheCharmingGuy

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Sorry dude. Too bad she wasn't in Afghanistan with you. At least then, she could had gotten shot by "friendly fire".
Well, that got dark. ;)
 

Clamslammer

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Sorry, I’ve been busy but have been reading responses.

I appreciate you all so much. Your words are inspirational and help me see more clearly what I already know needs to be done.

Full NC. Blocked on all formats, including email which was how she was trying to communicate. I knew this was the right thing.

I love you all
I don't understand this crap when guys block girls. A real man with self control does not need to block anyone, he just removes them from his life.
 

NSX-R

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Bro you can still have all those things like marry her and make kids but you have to add another dude/s on the picture. If you like that then go ahead and continue dating her . If not , stop talking to her at all . Everyone is been there , we all had those feelings but life is hard and taking hits like this is part of life , so you either take it as a lion and move forward or like a goat waiting to be eaten .

That woman don’t want you , if she wanted you she wouldn’t cheat in the first place , the reason she wants to meet with you is to confirm to herself that cheating on you was fine and another way to let go of her guilt . That’s female behaviour 101 . Go ghost and really stop any contact with her . She has to know that she lost you forever and that’s the best revenge you can have . She will try everything to have you back but really, as i said she just wants you to take off her guilt . Don’t allow that .

I don’t believe you’re gonna listen to any of my advice or anyone’s else because you are still in love , blinded and not in position to think rationally. Good luck
 

samspade

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Full NC. Blocked on all formats, including email which was how she was trying to communicate. I knew this was the right thing.
Don't forget LinkedIn. I am serious. An ex (who probably cheated) still stalks me there....weekly. She thinks I don't know but I can see. It's hilarious.
 

samspade

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I think if you have scrolled this far down and are still unsure, consider this.
Who really lost in this situation? You or your former SO? After all, one of you just lost a great boyfriend and the other lost a lying b****. Congratulate yourself as she got exactly what she deserved.
If you still think you love her, don’t overthink it. You can’t love her. What you are experiencing is just the inability to suddenly shut off a LTR. Remember, there are other things in life than girls.
Sorry about what you’re going through. Your buddies here on SoSuave are always here for you!
At 23 you are leagues beyond where I was at your age. Great advice here.
 

Clamslammer

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Blocking them is removing them from your life.
I was talking about blocking her number on your phone and on social media, some guys actually do that. I see no point in it. If you don't have self control to not respond if she reaches out to you then that guy needs to work on himself and learn his true value.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I was talking about blocking her number on your phone and on social media, some guys actually do that. I see no point in it. If you don't have self control to not respond if she reaches out to you then that guy needs to work on himself and learn his true value.
He'll never see his true value if he stays connected to people like her.
 

Atom Smasher

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Sometimes you just don’t want to be bothered seeing traces of her anywhere. Best to block completely and be done with it. Who cares what she thinks? Do what makes you get over it quickly is what I say. And for me, that means removing all traces.
 

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Glassguy

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I was talking about blocking her number on your phone and on social media, some guys actually do that. I see no point in it. If you don't have self control to not respond if she reaches out to you then that guy needs to work on himself and learn his true value.
I was too. No reason to ever be social media friends with some chick who did you wrong or cheated.
Just zap them out of your life. Women like that should have no place in your life whether IRL or social media. Delete and move on.
 

Mazer

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You made her your world and this is why you are crushed. Walk away now or you will always be wandering where she is and who is she with. It will eat you up inside, you might even go crazy, it will only feed the beast. Put this one to rest and walk. Do not make the same mistake with the next girl.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hi Everyone,

Before getting into it. Please save any “you were being a beta male/no frame, etc” comments. I’ve thought about those enough and I promise you, I’m not that person. Im not Mr Niceguy. I’ve been around long enough and dated long enough to know better...

Long story short, my girlfriend of 1 year cheated on me two weekends in a row last month with a former guy she used to be on/off with before she met me.
I am heartbroken - devastated. Broke up with her that day and told her off for lying to me and I didn’t want to see her again. She had been living out of state for a short term job via school and returns next month. She wants to talk and see what she can do (if anything) to salvage a future for us.

I am so hurt. Mad, angry, harrowing depression at times. Trying to focus on my awesome job and friends. Even been on a couple first dates that didn’t really go anywhere.

What is hard for me is the following: even though she lied to me, then tried so hard to lie even when I found out, I still love her. I still care for her. In a f***** up way, I still want her to be happy. All of this despite her doing what I consider “unforgivable”...

This girl was telling me she wanted babies with me, loved me so much, spent the holidays with my family. Then two short months later she cheated on me. I was visiting her out of state when I found out - being the best boyfriend I could be and giving in the relationship.

She comes home in a couple weeks. She’s been trying to email me and setup times to meet and talk (I blocked her on all other forms of communication). Part of me (the weak part, the denial part) thinks I could be rid of the awful sadness im feeling if she PROVES to me she can change and be better and EARN my trust back. But, I feel like this is the wrong mindset - even though it hurts to admit.

The other part of me, the part of me that has been through this before, thinks I should prevent her from seeing me at all and vanish from her life in ghost-like fashion and let her live with her choice.

Can I please get some advice or recommendations on how to get my mind right and do what is best? I think seeing her will just trigger more pain for me. But the denial in me says it could be helpful...
She is a thot not a gf. Street. leave her there. Go lift. Go get more girls. Hotter and younger. Actually live the life style red pill dorks parade but instead play house. Actually spin plates.

Wtf was the end Game? Marriage? kids? A dog. Pretend to be barbie and Ken.

There is the red pill. Not the dorks shilling the programs and beating their chest to some nonsensical jargon some dweeb who hasn't seen new vjj in 4 decades. Actually seeing female nature.

This is modern western women. I see young blood today. Lift and land a gf. It's then not lifting. it's Disney on ice. It's simping and ditching the boys. It don't end well.

Do the work. Approach. Lift. Get hotter younger girls. get on your purpose. If you focused on say getting your paper right, say buying a duck load of btc last year you are a millionaire today. Instead you were playing house with a slut. Lesson learned.

Read David Deida way of the superior man. Yes get girls but be on your purpose. priorities are whackkkk. this skank is the least of your problems. Let's Go. get on with it. make the shift. become a mercenary. I am icy as ****kkk. save feelers to Wamen and small children .
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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You made her your world and this is why you are crushed. Walk away now or you will always be wandering where she is and who is she with. It will eat you up inside, you might even go crazy, it will only feed the beast. Put this one to rest and walk. Do not make the same mistake with the next girl.
Not even that.

He gets the wwf wrestling belt for cuckold.

There is no do over after a cheat without the title belt as cuckold. they stone in the middle east for far less.
 
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