You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
A light beer or a glass of wine or smoking some pot with friends to get high for une on some occasion is a different thing and to heck, I might do that once in a while, too. But I think you know who I was referring to in my comment up there. It is the regular users, not the casual ones, that I have a problem with.I've also never done drugs. I've drank and smoked in the past, and still occasionally enjoy a light beer, so I'm not being judgmental - just curious how others react to smokers.
I agree that it's a way of detaching, and it's obviously used to relieve stress. I personally just hit the gym when I feel like this.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Of course there plenty of non-smokers that are **** people and there are smokers who are great people, too. I said it in general, my average girl, when she smokes...it comes with another bagagge full of other problems. Smoking at an early age is a sign that this person has a lot of stress in their life, so much so they need to use nicotine (cigarettes are practically soft drugs) to kill it. Would you be eager to date a drug user? Would you be eager to date someone that is hooked up on some stress medication or regular painkillers or sth? I wouldn't really.I've never went out with a woman that does this to excess (eg, 20 a day).
Find the judgement above to be a bit strange. Been out with smokers who were great women, and ones that were not so great. Same with non-smokers.
The cigarettes had very little bearing on it.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.