Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
A light beer or a glass of wine or smoking some pot with friends to get high for une on some occasion is a different thing and to heck, I might do that once in a while, too. But I think you know who I was referring to in my comment up there. It is the regular users, not the casual ones, that I have a problem with.I've also never done drugs. I've drank and smoked in the past, and still occasionally enjoy a light beer, so I'm not being judgmental - just curious how others react to smokers.
I agree that it's a way of detaching, and it's obviously used to relieve stress. I personally just hit the gym when I feel like this.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Of course there plenty of non-smokers that are **** people and there are smokers who are great people, too. I said it in general, my average girl, when she smokes...it comes with another bagagge full of other problems. Smoking at an early age is a sign that this person has a lot of stress in their life, so much so they need to use nicotine (cigarettes are practically soft drugs) to kill it. Would you be eager to date a drug user? Would you be eager to date someone that is hooked up on some stress medication or regular painkillers or sth? I wouldn't really.I've never went out with a woman that does this to excess (eg, 20 a day).
Find the judgement above to be a bit strange. Been out with smokers who were great women, and ones that were not so great. Same with non-smokers.
The cigarettes had very little bearing on it.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.