You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Abort those plans immediately. If her time is limited then why are you going to waste two hours staring at a movie screen? Take her to a lounge or someplace you two can talk and put your moves on her there. movies are horrible first dates.BigEd71 said:i know its not the ideal date, but with our schedules this is what we have to work with
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
J Roc said:Abort those plans immediately. If her time is limited then why are you going to waste two hours staring at a movie screen? Take her to a lounge or someplace you two can talk and put your moves on her there. movies are horrible first dates.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I completely disagree. Watching a good movie together gives you a shared experience, which is a plus. But it's not the best idea for a first date, or for someone you don't know well, because you can't really talk.alpha_ash said:Movie dates kill attraction.
HA! I'm putting this one in the bank.Mike32ct said:If she sits too far away from you on the couch, use this line...
"You can move over (signal to move next to you). I'm not in to 'long distance relationships' lol"
I've only rarely seen couples making out in theaters. Maybe it's because I prefer to go to the matinees - they're cheaper and are less crowded.sageproduct said:I've heard of guys who just kino escalate and make out the whole time at a movie. I don't think I'd ever do that at a theater, and definitely not on a first date with someone I just met. It's different if it's someone in a social circle who you already know though...
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Plutoman said:Meh, movies can quickly build sexual tension. I definitely wouldn't consider it cancel-worthy.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134945
Read up on muscleman's journal for examples.
How old are you and her?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.