Is it ever appropriate to mention or refer to your ex during sex? In what cases would be okay if at all? What about if your partner doesn't like you to do something because their ex liked to that thing? How would that make you feel?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Mentioning an ex during sex
- Thread starter mango
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
It means that if some chick said that to you, she's a sick biotch and needs to be dumped.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
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I feel you should not mention your ex while dating, during the relationship and especially during sex. Your ex is the past and the past is the past. Focus on your present and future.
Life-Trainee
Master Don Juan
Maybe she just wanted to prolong sex, and buy you another 10 minutes?
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Why would her ex be on her mind during sex!!!!!!!!!! That is an insult, whether she is mentioning something she likes or dislikes. This is highly inappropiate!!!
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Have you done this or has your partner?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I just needed to know who needed a bit of assistance on this. No, it's not appropriate to do this type of thing at such an intimate moment. However, the concern should not be the appropriateness of the action, the question should be why it was done at all.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2003
- Messages
- 546
- Reaction score
- 3
Not unless she is saying how much bigger your reproductive organ is.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Alright, so there is an exception...
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Never, and I mean NEVER go into any detail about past sexual encounters or relationships or flings or anything even remotely close to disclosing who, what, where, when or how you got after it with someone other than the woman you're involved with at the moment.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It means that they are not yet over their ex. Tread lightly.