Is it ever appropriate to mention or refer to your ex during sex? In what cases would be okay if at all? What about if your partner doesn't like you to do something because their ex liked to that thing? How would that make you feel?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Mentioning an ex during sex
- Thread starter mango
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
It means that if some chick said that to you, she's a sick biotch and needs to be dumped.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
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I feel you should not mention your ex while dating, during the relationship and especially during sex. Your ex is the past and the past is the past. Focus on your present and future.
Life-Trainee
Master Don Juan
Maybe she just wanted to prolong sex, and buy you another 10 minutes?
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Why would her ex be on her mind during sex!!!!!!!!!! That is an insult, whether she is mentioning something she likes or dislikes. This is highly inappropiate!!!
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Have you done this or has your partner?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I just needed to know who needed a bit of assistance on this. No, it's not appropriate to do this type of thing at such an intimate moment. However, the concern should not be the appropriateness of the action, the question should be why it was done at all.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2003
- Messages
- 546
- Reaction score
- 3
Not unless she is saying how much bigger your reproductive organ is.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Alright, so there is an exception...
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Never, and I mean NEVER go into any detail about past sexual encounters or relationships or flings or anything even remotely close to disclosing who, what, where, when or how you got after it with someone other than the woman you're involved with at the moment.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It means that they are not yet over their ex. Tread lightly.