Is it ever appropriate to mention or refer to your ex during sex? In what cases would be okay if at all? What about if your partner doesn't like you to do something because their ex liked to that thing? How would that make you feel?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Mentioning an ex during sex
- Thread starter mango
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
It means that if some chick said that to you, she's a sick biotch and needs to be dumped.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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I feel you should not mention your ex while dating, during the relationship and especially during sex. Your ex is the past and the past is the past. Focus on your present and future.
Life-Trainee
Master Don Juan
Maybe she just wanted to prolong sex, and buy you another 10 minutes?
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Why would her ex be on her mind during sex!!!!!!!!!! That is an insult, whether she is mentioning something she likes or dislikes. This is highly inappropiate!!!
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You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
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Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Have you done this or has your partner?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I just needed to know who needed a bit of assistance on this. No, it's not appropriate to do this type of thing at such an intimate moment. However, the concern should not be the appropriateness of the action, the question should be why it was done at all.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
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Not unless she is saying how much bigger your reproductive organ is.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Alright, so there is an exception...
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Never, and I mean NEVER go into any detail about past sexual encounters or relationships or flings or anything even remotely close to disclosing who, what, where, when or how you got after it with someone other than the woman you're involved with at the moment.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It means that they are not yet over their ex. Tread lightly.