Is it ever appropriate to mention or refer to your ex during sex? In what cases would be okay if at all? What about if your partner doesn't like you to do something because their ex liked to that thing? How would that make you feel?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Mentioning an ex during sex
- Thread starter mango
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
It means that if some chick said that to you, she's a sick biotch and needs to be dumped.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
Do you even need to ask this question, man? I think you know what to do.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
- Reaction score
- 59
I feel you should not mention your ex while dating, during the relationship and especially during sex. Your ex is the past and the past is the past. Focus on your present and future.
Life-Trainee
Master Don Juan
Maybe she just wanted to prolong sex, and buy you another 10 minutes?
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Why would her ex be on her mind during sex!!!!!!!!!! That is an insult, whether she is mentioning something she likes or dislikes. This is highly inappropiate!!!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Have you done this or has your partner?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I just needed to know who needed a bit of assistance on this. No, it's not appropriate to do this type of thing at such an intimate moment. However, the concern should not be the appropriateness of the action, the question should be why it was done at all.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
I could list all of the possible speculations on why she would have done that but again, it would just be speculation. Go to her about this, tell her that it is upsetting to do such a thing; however refrain from accusations or anything that could make her defensive.
Approach her in a manner of wanting to understand why she would do this. It doesn't mean that you need to accept her reason, but you do need to know why.
Unregistered
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2003
- Messages
- 546
- Reaction score
- 3
Not unless she is saying how much bigger your reproductive organ is.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Alright, so there is an exception...
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Never, and I mean NEVER go into any detail about past sexual encounters or relationships or flings or anything even remotely close to disclosing who, what, where, when or how you got after it with someone other than the woman you're involved with at the moment.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
This is a rookie mistake and will ruin you with any woman you have even an inkling to becoming involved with long term.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It means that they are not yet over their ex. Tread lightly.