I messed up my relationship and reputation, NEED HELP FAST

[casanova]

I was at a party, there was a girl from my class that I have the biggest crush on, you could say I'm in love and we hooked up and that was awesome, she told me she liked me back but we were quite drunk. We slept together, we DIDNT have sexual intercourse but we did make out and do oral things.

The day after I felt powerful and I thought I was cool so I texted my friends and had the audacity to lie about having sex and told them that I "put that ***** on all fours" SOMEHOW she has seen the message even though all of my friends live abroad, one of them must've snitched but anyway, her friends aren't talking to me. I will try to fix things with them, I spoke to the girl I liked and she told me that she can't really trust me and needs more time to think.

I really like her and I want her back but I've realised how ****ed i am and i don't need anyone to point out any more mistakes, I just need help figuring out what I need to do.

I feel like my only possible option is
- Makeup with her friends because we were once close so they dont influence her in a bad way. Guys seriously please help.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Don’t backpaddle and apologise, but reenforce and amplify.

“Oh we didnt fvck yesterday? I must have been too drunk to remember, lets try again, tomorrow 8 pm my place, bring the weed I bring the wine”

 

[marmel75]

This entire thread is pretty dumb...how old are you OP? 15?

 

[AJ84]

I was at a party, there was a girl from my class that I have the biggest crush on, you could say I'm in love and we hooked up and that was awesome, she told me she liked me back but we were quite drunk. We slept together, we DIDNT have sexual intercourse but we did make out and do oral things.

The day after I felt powerful and I thought I was cool so I texted my friends and had the audacity to lie about having sex and told them that I "put that ***** on all fours" SOMEHOW she has seen the message even though all of my friends live abroad, one of them must've snitched but anyway, her friends aren't talking to me. I will try to fix things with them, I spoke to the girl I liked and she told me that she can't really trust me and needs more time to think.

I really like her and I want her back but I've realised how ****ed i am and i don't need anyone to point out any more mistakes, I just need help figuring out what I need to do.

I feel like my only possible option is
- Makeup with her friends because we were once close so they dont influence her in a bad way. Guys seriously please help.

Leave it be, learn from it and move on. Contacting her friends is only making the situation worse and bringing more attention to the lie that you told that made her look like a sl*t. The more you try to rewind this, the more the story is of her being on all fours will get out there. That hurts her so if you really like is girl like you say you do, then you don't want to make this worse for her so leave it and her be. Let her come to you if she wants but don't make this into drama, what's done is done.

 

[The Diver]

I was at a party, there was a girl from my class that I have the biggest crush on, you could say I'm in love and we hooked up and that was awesome, she told me she liked me back but we were quite drunk. We slept together, we DIDNT have sexual intercourse but we did make out and do oral things.

The day after I felt powerful and I thought I was cool so I texted my friends and had the audacity to lie about having sex and told them that I "put that ***** on all fours" SOMEHOW she has seen the message even though all of my friends live abroad, one of them must've snitched but anyway, her friends aren't talking to me. I will try to fix things with them, I spoke to the girl I liked and she told me that she can't really trust me and needs more time to think.

I really like her and I want her back but I've realised how ****ed i am and i don't need anyone to point out any more mistakes, I just need help figuring out what I need to do.

I feel like my only possible option is
- Makeup with her friends because we were once close so they dont influence her in a bad way. Guys seriously please help.

What a fu*cking relationship are you talking about? there is no relationship here. You're 16y/o , go do your homework.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Good. You got exactly what you deserved for trying to look cool. Dumba*ss.

 

[casanova]

Good. You got exactly what you deserved for trying to look cool. Dumba*ss.

honestly ur right dude, i got what i deserved. took it for granted

 

[devilkingx2]

This is pretty hilarious OP, just laugh about it and hope other girls heard about how you gave it to her good and get interested in you.

Weed out which one of your friends is the rat that lets bro talk turn into rumors and don't tell him sensitive stuff anymore (perhaps you texted the wrong person at some point or someone saw your phone)

As for your crush... Yeah you're pretty much screwed unless she decides she doesn't care if people think she had sex (depends on how negatively that would affect her at your school and her personal views on that sort of thing)

 

[BeExcellent]

My sister was a college cheerleader. She went on a couple of dates with a guy we all had gone to high school with...a very cool guy. Like you he was very infatuated, in love, etc. with my sister. After a date he inflated what had happened. They had made out, but he told his buddies they had sex. My sister is very conservative and doesn't do that lightly. Her husband was her college sweetheart and is the 2nd person she had sex with ever - and they're married 20+ years now...

Here is the crazy part. My roomate (in another city at another university) was dating a friend of this bragging dude. So my roommate tells me the story and we figure out in short order that it is my sister being discussed. I thought Wow. That does not sound like her AT ALL. So I call her up and ask her what happened. She was extremely upset, in tears, mortified and very angry. Her reputation had been irreparably tarnished by his lie in her eyes. The guy sent her roses, apologized, and tried to make amends, but my sister refused to take his calls, refused to see him, and flushed him immediately. We used to run into him once in a while years later. He was always very nice, and we all have a chuckle about what happened, but yeah. Bragging in an attempt to look cool backfired in a major way.

I'd say the only way to save it is directly to the girl's face. You gotta own it, apologize and go forward. And she may not give you another chance. Let her think things over and see how it goes.

 

[Murk]

Say it was a faked message, from a hater, there are apps all over to fake whatsapp or texts.

I would have flat out denied it, owned the lie, and never given in. Deny, deny, deny. She would eventually start doubting, herself and the snitch, maybe even out the snitch (seriously, nobody mentions the snitch in this thread? he deserves a beat down or cut off), you played this like a b!tch OP and you're not cut out for the drama and lies you need to live like a rapscallion.

Go home, be a family man.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's never a good idea to lie about anything. It is especially a bad idea to tell other people what you do with chicks. Anything you text out will almost certainly get passed around like a bag of donuts. Once word is out that you don't know how to keep private stuff private, you'll have a harder time getting chicks to go alone with your 'agenda'.

At this point the only thing the OP can do is apologize to the chick, and tell his friends he lied. Don't be a supplicating little b!tch... don;t try to make excuses and send the girl a text and apologize ONCE... tell your friends you lied ONCE. Then if anyone asks you about it again just say you're already taken steps to correct the record and let it go... then hope other chicks forget about it. Because once the 'chick network' determines you have a reputation of being a braggart, it will take a while before any chick plugged in will trust you again.

 

[Murk]

Some real phaggy advice for OP in here. He's young, he should have lied his way out of it just like anyone of us would have done in his position.

He would be with the girl if he lied, she just needs some cooling off, say look it's a fake message babe come let me explain. You get that one on one time, manipulate the situation, deny deny deny, throw the snitch under the bus and say they obviously like her and don't want to see her happy.

I mean, this is all hypothetical you already b!tched out like a little punk and now look like an absolute cretin. At least you know for the future.

 

[RangerMIke]

Some real phaggy advice for OP in here. He's young, he should have lied his way out of it just like anyone of us would have done in his position.

Bvllsh!t... Your problem is that you think chicks are stupid.... this is why you FAIL with women. They fvcking know when you are lying... DO NOT BE AN IDIOT.

 

[TheProspect]

Some real phaggy advice for OP in here. He's young, he should have lied his way out of it just like anyone of us would have done in his position.

He would be with the girl if he lied, she just needs some cooling off, say look it's a fake message babe come let me explain. You get that one on one time, manipulate the situation, deny deny deny, throw the snitch under the bus and say they obviously like her and don't want to see her happy.

I mean, this is all hypothetical you already b!tched out like a little punk and now look like an absolute cretin. At least you know for the future.

If you have to lie to get and keep girls...

Well, that speaks for itself.

Nobodies likes being lied to, you’re actively encouraging others to lie but you’d probably be the first to b!tch if the inverse was true and you caught a girl in a lie. I’m sure you wouldn’t tell her “you should have lied and you could have kept me”, you’d kick her to the curb (depending on the severity of the lie), and rightfully so.

 

[The Diver]

He's young, he should have lied his way out of it just like anyone of us would have done in his position.

To advice a young man to lie his way out , out from a lie, is a terrible advice.
As others posters said already, he need to own his mistake like a man,UNDERSTAND it (he could destroying the reputation of this young girl if she would labeled as a sl*ut ), apologise to her and txt all his friends admitting his lie.

On a side note, around this age (16y/o) a young man should start the process of embracing high values ,morals and responsibility, a process which in the end of it, will serve as a strong pillars on which his castel of life will lean on, a process which will pave his road to be a great man. Learning to lie is not one of those pillar you want to trust to hold your castel up and proud.

 

[Murk]

Bvllsh!t... Your problem is that you think chicks are stupid.... this is why you FAIL with women. They fvcking know when you are lying... DO NOT BE AN IDIOT.

I actually don't fail with women, and have previously lied my way out of several storms. Yes it's very noble being honest all the time, type of guys to kiss a chick at a party then succumb to guilt and confess all to the Mrs only for her to leave you, idiots.

It's funny you guys jumping down my throat for telling him to do what the majority of "real" people would do. Actual guys with experience gaming chicks at a young age. Not old men who've learned game and now want to take moral high ground and be the beacon of hope for mankind and cast judgement on men they disagree with. It's all theory to lots of you, theory is not how the world works.

I wouldn't lie now, I don't lie to get and keep women, but at his age I would have, anyone with a pair of gonads and some confidence would have, most probably smashing the girl right now instead of crying on a forum.

It's OK to have another opinion, it's a forum ffs and we are men. The hypocrisy on here is astounding. I try to post in a very honest way and will continue to do so.

 

[sosousage]

That sounds like its her fault for not letting u fuk her and then badmouthing u with your and her friends

Btw what kind of desperate texts his fake friends living abroad to tell them "omg i scored!!!!!" That later snitch him rotfl

 

[AJ84]

I see a lot of debate around lying in the context of dating but that's not the main issue here.

We all lie to some extent, to save face, protect someone's feelings, because we're afraid etc etc.

But what this guy did was start a lie/ rumour that could damage this young girl's reputation. That's the problem here, not that he lied, but what he lied about.

Imagine if you went on a date with a girl and nothing happened but she said you aggressively tried to get in her pants and it scared her. How would that make you look to people who don't know you well? Even to people who do?

And we all know what happens to lies that start as rumours, they snowball.

The OP is very young, the girl is very young, and this is the kind of stuff that can be very damaging to young girls.

You are all guys so you don't know what it's like to be a young woman and have someone spread a lie that makes you look like a sl*t if you are not a sl*t.

Try to remember the age of the people in this story and the fact that the OP is from Istanbul, a much more conversative place compared to where many of us live so it's even more damaging that he even talked about the date at all.

 

[RangerMIke]

I actually don't fail with women, and have previously lied my way out of several storms. Yes it's very noble being honest all the time, type of guys to kiss a chick at a party then succumb to guilt and confess all to the Mrs only for her to leave you, idiots.

It's funny you guys jumping down my throat for telling him to do what the majority of "real" people would do. Actual guys with experience gaming chicks at a young age. Not old men who've learned game and now want to take moral high ground and be the beacon of hope for mankind and cast judgement on men they disagree with. It's all theory to lots of you, theory is not how the world works.

I wouldn't lie now, I don't lie to get and keep women, but at his age I would have, anyone with a pair of gonads and some confidence would have, most probably smashing the girl right now instead of crying on a forum.

It's OK to have another opinion, it's a forum ffs and we are men. The hypocrisy on here is astounding. I try to post in a very honest way and will continue to do so.

Dishonesty makes you look weak... because it tells the chick you care more about pvssy then your own integrity.

Many times I could lie for temporary success, but no one chick is worth my integrity. If I ever found myself in a situation where I have to lie to get out of a mess, then I would just go ahead and dump the chick... there are more more chicks but only one me.

When you are honest you typically get what you want. That is my experience.

IMO a man should own who he is and not lie about it. You suggested this was "phaggy advice" that's cool, if that is your opinion, but true authenticity has always worked best for me.

Anyway, back to the topic. The OP stated he was bragging to his friends that he fvcked this chick when nothing really happened... saying that someone must have taken his phone and texted is so completely unbelievable the chick would have to be brain-dead stupid to fall for that.

Or if you prefer... just don't say anything... don't confirm of deny anything.... and if she confronts you just say, "Yea that was stupid to lie about that, so do you want to make it really happen?" If she likes you it would work just as well as the lie. Chances are if she approaches and confronts you she cares enough about you to do that... so you might have a chance.

 

[djthiago1]

When you're cornered, defuse with humor.
And always remember: Bad press is better than no press.


You're 16. You'll be telling this story to your friends over a beer in two years.