"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I can't go pee pee standing up!!

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wolf116

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Ok since puberty my pee dosen't come out in a nice line. I sort of comes out like the way it would if you put you finger half over the end of the hose.

It's not like its blocked or anything. it just splashers on the seat and stuff if i stand up. At the pee troff it ain really a problem tho.

It's just imbarrasing when my gf asked me why i'm sitting down like a girl.

I dont feel like a man anymore :cry:

Why is this happining to me? Any fixes? Anyone else with this problem?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Diesel_Power

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ugh! I can't believe im actually replying.

Are you pulling the foreskin back before you urinate?
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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You've got to remember to put down one of your mugs of beer so you can use your free hand to hold your tallywacker.
 
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Livinlifehard

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that is if you can still see the counter to put your beer mug on...


real advice... go to a doc... dont be embarrased they have heard of much worse... once i had a swollen testical when i was little, and i went to docs where they were all feeling them up. only one female doc though :(
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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wolf116

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Livinlifehard said:
that is if you can still see the counter to put your beer mug on...


real advice... go to a doc... dont be embarrased they have heard of much worse... once i had a swollen testical when i was little, and i went to docs where they were all feeling them up. only one female doc though :(
Click to expand...
Lol I would crack-a-fatty if a female doc felt my nuts. that could be embarasing
 
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wolf116

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Yeah next time I go ill mention it.

I'm not embarrased, I ruptured a testy in a motobike accedint. now one is small. and went to the doc for that
 
KarmaSutra

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Here is your remedy:

Stand at the commode. Lift seat. Place pee pee on lip of toilet bowl but do not pee. Slam seat on head of pee pee to blowout stone, garden snake carcass or other obstruction. You may now enjoy a straight stream of good ol' American piss!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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KarmaSutra

KarmaSutra

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wolf116

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KarmaSutra said:
Here is your remedy:

Stand at the commode. Lift seat. Place pee pee on lip of toilet bowl but do not pee. Slam seat on head of pee pee to blowout stone, garden snake carcass or other obstruction. You may now enjoy a straight stream of good ol' American piss!
Click to expand...
lol. this is no new thing. had it for four years. if there is something wedged in there. It's set in there for good.

no I think it's just the hole shape. I'll just insert a straw that will fix it.
 
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Skilla_Staz

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ow.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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