lamobatsman
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2012
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How do you know if a girl is just using you. For example as a tourist guide or for other reasons apart from genuinely liking you?
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
thisCaptainSaveAh0 said:If you have to ask yourself " Am I being used?" you are most likely being used ..
Know what you are getting yourself into and know what you want out of this girl. If you know those 2 things then you will not be asking this question.
If you are not getting what YOU want out of a relationship, you're being used. If you're doing something for her that you'd rather not do, you're being used. If you suspect that you're being used, you probably are.lamobatsman said:How do you know if a girl is just using you. For example as a tourist guide or for other reasons apart from genuinely liking you?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
This is a very wise analysis coming from a 21 year old.Mr Wright said:The majority of human contact is one person trying to get something from the other if you really dismantle it to the component parts. I wouldn't waste your grey matter wondering about what to do about it. There are objects and subjects, you can be one or the other.
Bro you have to fight back. I used to take such bs, even when they were subtly putting me down, pretending to laugh with me but instead laughing at me. I would act so grateful they were allegedly my friends and cared about me that I would buy them dinner and lunch just so I could tell people I knew two or three girls....lamobatsman said:i feel like every girl i like uses me. even when i ask them they say im being stupid and then they will **** me over after i give them a chance and then they become very nasty and resentful to me.
If you're doing them favors and getting nothing in returnlamobatsman said:How do you know if a girl is just using you. For example as a tourist guide or for other reasons apart from genuinely liking you?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.