lamobatsman
Senior Don Juan
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How do you know if a girl is just using you. For example as a tourist guide or for other reasons apart from genuinely liking you?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
how to tell if ur being used
- Thread starter lamobatsman
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
narcissist
Master Don Juan
a girl is always using you.
if you don't know that then you haven't learned anything.
if you don't know that then you haven't learned anything.
MisterSisterFister
Don Juan
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Are you putting the P into the V?
Have you tasted the pie?
Have you tasted the pie?
Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
The majority of human contact is one person trying to get something from the other if you really dismantle it to the component parts. I wouldn't waste your grey matter wondering about what to do about it. There are objects and subjects, you can be one or the other.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Everybody uses someone. So, you may as well be banging her to make yourself feel better. If you're being used without banging, you're just paying for something and not getting it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
CaptainSaveAh0
Don Juan
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If you have to ask yourself " Am I being used?" you are most likely being used ..
Know what you are getting yourself into and know what you want out of this girl. If you know those 2 things then you will not be asking this question.
Know what you are getting yourself into and know what you want out of this girl. If you know those 2 things then you will not be asking this question.
Dhoulmagus
Banned
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thisCaptainSaveAh0 said:
SgtSplacker
Master Don Juan
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It's not about trying to figure out what she wants. It's about her doing what you want. And if she's not doing it then she gets nothing from me, but chances to do what I want...
lamobatsman
Senior Don Juan
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i feel like every girl i like uses me. even when i ask them they say im being stupid and then they will **** me over after i give them a chance and then they become very nasty and resentful to me.
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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If you are not getting what YOU want out of a relationship, you're being used. If you're doing something for her that you'd rather not do, you're being used. If you suspect that you're being used, you probably are.lamobatsman said:
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
GotED?
Master Don Juan
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This is a very wise analysis coming from a 21 year old.Mr Wright said:
+1 repped.
Keep on figuring the intricacies of human relationships and interactions. Sooner you get it, the less heartache you will suffer.
Exodus
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
ask yourself these questions
1. what does she get from our relationship?
2. what do I?
3. who gets more? slightly or a lot more?
3 is the most important question, the other 2 are just food for thought
(optional) 4. who's getting what they really want: me, her, both of us or neither of us?
1. what does she get from our relationship?
2. what do I?
3. who gets more? slightly or a lot more?
3 is the most important question, the other 2 are just food for thought
(optional) 4. who's getting what they really want: me, her, both of us or neither of us?
Bro you have to fight back. I used to take such bs, even when they were subtly putting me down, pretending to laugh with me but instead laughing at me. I would act so grateful they were allegedly my friends and cared about me that I would buy them dinner and lunch just so I could tell people I knew two or three girls....lamobatsman said:
Then I freakin woke up. Now any text or offhand comment that may imply a put down, I respond harshly and it doesn't happen again.
The point being you have to fight back, these girls don't care if you are dead or alive. They don't phone you every night to check on you, they don't give you money, they don't give you sex. If they can use you to make themselves look good for 0.5 seconds, they will.
Fight back! :box:
If you're doing them favors and getting nothing in returnlamobatsman said:
.http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212695
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.