How to respond to women who cancel you last minute.

[DeCarlo]

I think both are valid options.

Leave on read vs "Ok."

However "Ok. No problem" is validating the flake imo. Like RangerMike said in another post. Women dont care at all that they flake and if the yare attractive they often choose what they want to cancel. Even if you maybe hurt their ego make them rethink their ways, it'll be patched back up by one of their 11 simps. Triple that if she is young(18-23) and then double the tripled number if shes hot too.

So honestly sit here and think if saying "No problem" does more harm than good. Sure maybe it makes your ego feel good but you know deep down unless youve got stuff lined up that isnt the case. So at least just leave it with "Ok" and not put out there yeah you can flake on me/other men.

I think the "Ok. Let me know when you're free again/Hmu when you want to meet again/Lets reschedule" shows you still are seeking to get with her. Probably wouldnt use this unless you think the flake is legit. Like legit legit. Otherwise you're losing dignity points. Just "Ok" is enough if she legit wants to get back to you.

Leave on read isn't butthurt IMO. It can portray that though. It was a Norwegian chick I was talking to earlier this year and before I went to Norway I had left her on read when I asked her to give me a call. And for the 2nd/3rd day in a row she said she "had a headache". So I left her on read. Two/Three weeks went by and my birthday hit. She said happy b day and "I really did have a headache you know". So that tells me she either thought I was mad or was just trying to make a excuse to save face. But I think regardless she took it as me being upset. So perhaps "Ok" is better if most girls think that way.

When I came to Europe I had a girl go out of her way late(r) at night to meet me as soon as I touched down in her city. And many men here will tell you of women driving hours to see them etc.

"Ok" is more than enough if shes truly still interested/values you for her to hit you back with another date. Now that I think about it.

Also, why in the world are you guys dealing with single mothers at all? Cmon now this is the SS forum. One thing I dont deal with here in Europe anymore is single moms. I rarely even see it.

Bottom line: If it gets to the point where you do all these mental gymnastics it aint worth it 80% of the time. But lets not kid ourselves. Nowadays finding women that are high interest off rip is getting more and more scarce. Even ugly girls have DMs and options. And I see so many guys gym maxxing nowadays. I think even looks only takes you so far now. Even the 10s are gonna be the good ole days at this rate.

 

[Tiguere]

This is one area of Sosuave I think everyone is TOO nice. I would rip the girl to shreds if she cancels at the last minute. A man plans a date, is looking forward to it, dresses up a bit, makes reservations, and the girl cancels.

And the answer is not to get hurt or “no problem”? She tells her friends ‘hey that guy over there, you can cancel on him he doesn’t even care, doesn’t know his left hand from his right.”

I would say “Why the hell did you waste my time? Get out of my face.” I wouldn’t shrug it off. I’d fire back with a vengeance. Especially some girl who has is not a virgin several times over.

She has to know she is not dealing with an idiot.

Come on men, grow a pair.

Thats right. I respond as if i was her disappointed father.

I usually respond with.

You're canceling???? Listen Megan .... My time is not a joke. It has value... Work on that character. flaw adiós!!!


Then I keep it moving and ignore her next few messages.

Then I start again.

It's all about calibration

 

[Bingo-Player]

This question has been asked a hundred million times and will continue to be asked by men for the rest of eternity

the bottom line is

MEN ARE USUALLY DECISIVE

WOMEN ARE USUALLY INDECISIVE

The key is too build enough rapport with your female for her to decide she HAS to see you

With women you meet on dating apps or online THE only way to do this is through text

This nonsense of texting just to set up dates is advice given by guys who can't text ...... you need to smashing out ****y funny content in your messages and use sexual undertones / innuendo

Not saying this will completely solve Flaking as some women literally do not know what they want and are happy to waste your time but generally you have to

PLAY THE GAME

 

[stringpuller]

Had a woman I matched with on Bumble today, she didn't have anything to do except bake cookies
Said she would take a nap
We were texting, then I get a text 2.5 hours before the date saying she was "Tired" and "if we could talk more tomorrow"
I responded with "OK" and deleted her number and off bumble
No way would a woman be sympathetic to a man working 12 hours yet I'm supposed to pursue a woman who is tired of making cookies all day for a grad party?

Nope, there is always another one

Cheers!

Its the female version of post nut clarity.
Her orgasm was the match and the texting.
OLD is a dumpsterfire in the US

 

[Solomon]

I never understood people who say "Not responding shows you're butthurt" a woman disrespected you and your time. Do you really think she cares about how you feel?

I got flaked on yesterday, now being in my late 30s I get annoyed about having my time wasted whereas in my 20s it was more so the hope of getting some. The reality is if you meeting a woman for the first time through OLD or at the bar/field etc. If she really cared about how you felt she wouldn't flake or make a strong counteroffer.

Spinning plates is always the remedy I took a break but now I might jump back in the game since it's summer

 

[SW15]

Block. Delete. Bish is dead to me. #nextSet

Comply or bye. I do the same ignore. I ignore most flake jobs that cancel. Any cancellation, whether 3 hours or 3 days before, is a sign of low interest level. I don't have time for that shiit.

 

[IKO69]

You don't unless she has a very good reason and offers an alternative.

If you don't get any of the above she simply doesn't want to see you which is why she behaves this way. There is nothing to negotiate, no "tactic" that you can use to win her over. If you must voice your displeasure, do so, but don't ask her out again.

 

[Eddie3232]

Say goodbye and give your back. A girl tried to fake she would do that to me by phone once in a time. I answered cold and unphased.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If she’s < 25, she gets a second chance. Otherwise; Next

 

[BDDazza]

Had a woman I matched with on Bumble today, she didn't have anything to do except bake cookies
Said she would take a nap
We were texting, then I get a text 2.5 hours before the date saying she was "Tired" and "if we could talk more tomorrow"
I responded with "OK" and deleted her number and off bumble
No way would a woman be sympathetic to a man working 12 hours yet I'm supposed to pursue a woman who is tired of making cookies all day for a grad party?

Nope, there is always another one

Cheers!

Solomon, not trying to excuse her flaking but we don't know for sure that baking cookies is all she did. She might have had a super stressful situation or a mundane activity to complete. Online we all make ourselves seem like we are having fun, she isn't going to reveal her stresses to a stranger.

But yes I agree with your action as far as deleting her number for cancelling 2.5hours before the date due to tiredness, that is bad form.

With women you meet on dating apps or online THE only way to do this is through text

This nonsense of texting just to set up dates is advice given by guys who can't text ...... you need to smashing out ****y funny content in your messages and use sexual undertones / innuendo

This is very true, so many guys cling to the old concept of texting only to set up dates. If you are out of sight you're out of mind, and she will replace the void with another mans attention. You need to use your text game, wittiness, humour, innuendo game for her to remember you push for the date. Obviously there is a balance, so we have to know when to tone it down if she is clearly not interested or its not converting into a date.

 

[stringpuller]

Dont reply. Walk away. Consider ditching OLD and start being a charming social guy in person.
OLD is a womans frame from the start. EOS. Its designed that way

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Comply or bye. I do the same ignore. I ignore most flake jobs that cancel. Any cancellation, whether 3 hours or 3 days before, is a sign of low interest level. I don't have time for that shiit.

Time vampires are rubbish. Compliance is a tell tell sign for rating her interest level. Any flaking or noncompliance means #next!

 

[Eddie3232]

I have something going on right now in a case where the girl isn't even going on something sexual or "date" with me but invited me to join her friends as she sees me as her friend. The logistics to do this are far reaching and i cannot risk dumb delays from her to say where we're meeting as this is happening tomorrow before lunch. What i do? I will message her again and press up because i do not accept moving somewhere in a hurry without even knowing where i'm moving. If she doesn't replies, i'm not moving my ass and this is it. And if she replies but look upon me when we meet in real life, i will be happy to ignore her in person as much as she will likely ignore me there most of the time. No big deal. Flaking is even worse than this. It has to be because of some good reason or congruent to the context and excuse she gives.

 

[RBK]

I never understood people who say "Not responding shows you're butthurt" a woman disrespected you and your time. Do you really think she cares about how you feel?

I got flaked on yesterday, now being in my late 30s I get annoyed about having my time wasted whereas in my 20s it was more so the hope of getting some. The reality is if you meeting a woman for the first time through OLD or at the bar/field etc. If she really cared about how you felt she wouldn't flake or make a strong counteroffer.

Spinning plates is always the remedy I took a break but now I might jump back in the game since it's summer

Yea, late 30s here too. Its my time being wasted or the planning I did for the date or work I moved around that annoys me at this point. Wasting my time makes me furious. I spend a lot less time now focusing on women than I use to as they are all the same. They have validation on tap all day long.

 

[Chocolate Muffin]

I'm in SEA and most women who have flaked on my were the dodgy types that I should have never matched with in the first place anyway : Looks low-class, is below 160cm, has too much make up, shows too much skin, not enough profile description, mentions restaurants, mentions not having lots of money, etc... It can all be summarized by the adjectives "lower-class" and "trashy". Most of these types of women can be avoided with enough profile picture filtering experience, the rest of them can be detected by carefully reading the entire profile.

You also have to text a girl one day before the meeting in case it was setup multiple days in advance. Say "I'll confirm for the hour on thursday" if the meeting is on friday.

Once I started applying my filtering methodology, I almost never got any flake.

 

[Solomon]

Yea, late 30s here too. Its my time being wasted or the planning I did for the date or work I moved around that annoys me at this point. Wasting my time makes me furious. I spend a lot less time now focusing on women than I use to as they are all the same. They have validation on tap all day long.

This is one of the reasons why in the last few years I have put in low (minimal)effort in dating I.e. meeting women at my house, or not meeting up with women who seem lukewarm but that I could get more excited with tight game. It's a lot of energy to engage mid-low interest women. Granted the hot ones are always like this(in my experience because they don't have to put in any effort especially through OLD). But nowadays I really put in the effort if I notice the woman does the same.

I've noticed most women online make hardly any effort unless they really like you (or if she never met you is attracted to your pics)

 

[Solomon]

I'm in SEA and most women who have flaked on my were the dodgy types that I should have never matched with in the first place anyway : Looks low-class, is below 160cm, has too much make up, shows too much skin, not enough profile description, mentions restaurants, mentions not having lots of money, etc... It can all be summarized by the adjectives "lower-class" and "trashy". Most of these types of women can be avoided with enough profile picture filtering experience, the rest of them can be detected by carefully reading the entire profile.

You also have to text a girl one day before the meeting in case it was setup multiple days in advance. Say "I'll confirm for the hour on thursday" if the meeting is on friday.

Once I started applying my filtering methodology, I almost never got any flake.

Women in SEA really mention not having money on their profiles? to me that's a red flag like when a woman says she is in an "open relationship" or "Poly"

Those women tend to be looney

Once you start dating women 30+ you noticed how a lot of them care about money especially if she is 35+ some broke chicks looking for a Chad to save'em

 

[SW15]

Once you start dating women 30+ you noticed how a lot of them care about money especially if she is 35+ some broke chicks looking for a Chad to save'em

Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) did an article about this many years ago.

Provider Hunters - Alpha Male 2.0

Enable Dark Mode Enable Light Mode Get Free Email Updates! Join us for FREE to get instant email updates! Per the glossary, the definition of “provider hunting” is: A phase a woman goes through, usually when she’s over the age of 27 (but can happen at all ages) where she seeks to settle down with

alphamale20.com

 

[Solomon]

Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) did an article about this many years ago.

Provider Hunters - Alpha Male 2.0

Enable Dark Mode Enable Light Mode Get Free Email Updates! Join us for FREE to get instant email updates! Per the glossary, the definition of “provider hunting” is: A phase a woman goes through, usually when she’s over the age of 27 (but can happen at all ages) where she seeks to settle down with

alphamale20.com

The article is spot on I would also add that

She identifies as a Pansexual-Meaning she is attracted to more personality than looks. This just means she knows she can't attract the same type of man in her youth and will settle for the provider if he has the provision to provide

If you don't like Trump-You'll see this, especially with a lot of 30-40 year old WW. They know if they date a conservative that cuck shyt isn't gonna fly. I'm black in a liberal state but I'm not a liberal nor conservative more of an Independent. I try to avoid talking about politics and if it does come up. I don't try to engage seriously (for obvious reasons)

With these women what I find works for me is letting them know directly from the jump what you're looking for it cuts through the b.s. What I find works is if you frame it congruently it weeds out if she is DTS or not. Be warned though if the woman really likes you she will come cook, clean your place often in hopes of changing your mind

 

[SW15]

She identifies as a Pansexual-Meaning she is attracted to more personality than looks. This just means she knows she can't attract the same type of man in her youth and will settle for the provider if he has the provision to provide

You used the wrong term. The term you were looking to use is Demisexual. A demisexual is a woman is who is attracted to men for a close emotional bond. A pansexual is a woman is a woman attracted to all sexual orientations and identities.

In real life, a pansexual is a woman with multiple tattoos, piercings, and often oddly colored hair like blue, purple, or pink who is having sex with men, women, and sometimes non-gender binary people. Pansexuals generally are not concerned with finding a provider.

A demisexual is usually a heterosexual woman who won't have sex unless she feels a close emotional bond and gets commitment.

If you don't like Trump-You'll see this, especially with a lot of 30-40 year old WW. They know if they date a conservative that cuck shyt isn't gonna fly. I'm black in a liberal state but I'm not a liberal nor conservative more of an Independent. I try to avoid talking about politics and if it does come up. I don't try to engage seriously (for obvious reasons)

With these women what I find works for me is letting them know directly from the jump what you're looking for it cuts through the b.s. What I find works is if you frame it congruently it weeds out if she is DTS or not. Be warned though if the woman really likes you she will come cook, clean your place often in hopes of changing your mind

I don't really talk politics outside of family members and my closest friendships. Even with some male friends, I don't want to talk politics. The last place where I want to talk politics is with a woman I'm seducing. I might talk politics after a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has been established and our political viewpoints are similar or she demonstrates she can respect my points of view.

30-40 year old White women who are unmarried and childless are usually more liberal than conservative on the spectrum of political ideologies. On swipe apps, there are plenty of women who say "Swipe Left if You are Conservative". That's really a shiit test to be ignored for those who use swipe apps. Even still, those women are annoying in real life if you happen to match with them on a swipe app and get them out on a date.

So, you think 30-40 year old liberal White women prefer to date a liberal man because they think they can find a more compliant beta male amongst liberal men than conservative men?

I think there are plenty of beta males among both liberals and conservatives.