Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to respond to women who cancel you last minute.

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,049
Reaction score
3,323
Location
uk
This question has been asked a hundred million times and will continue to be asked by men for the rest of eternity

the bottom line is

MEN ARE USUALLY DECISIVE

WOMEN ARE USUALLY INDECISIVE

The key is too build enough rapport with your female for her to decide she HAS to see you

With women you meet on dating apps or online THE only way to do this is through text

This nonsense of texting just to set up dates is advice given by guys who can't text ...... you need to smashing out ****y funny content in your messages and use sexual undertones / innuendo

Not saying this will completely solve Flaking as some women literally do not know what they want and are happy to waste your time but generally you have to

PLAY THE GAME
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,056
Location
Inside her mind
I never understood people who say "Not responding shows you're butthurt" a woman disrespected you and your time. Do you really think she cares about how you feel?

I got flaked on yesterday, now being in my late 30s I get annoyed about having my time wasted whereas in my 20s it was more so the hope of getting some. The reality is if you meeting a woman for the first time through OLD or at the bar/field etc. If she really cared about how you felt she wouldn't flake or make a strong counteroffer.

Spinning plates is always the remedy I took a break but now I might jump back in the game since it's summer
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,068
Reaction score
10,351
Block. Delete. Bish is dead to me. #nextSet
Comply or bye. I do the same ignore. I ignore most flake jobs that cancel. Any cancellation, whether 3 hours or 3 days before, is a sign of low interest level. I don't have time for that shiit.
 

IKO69

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2005
Messages
1,222
Reaction score
1,121
Age
41
Location
Miami, FL
You don't unless she has a very good reason and offers an alternative.

If you don't get any of the above she simply doesn't want to see you which is why she behaves this way. There is nothing to negotiate, no "tactic" that you can use to win her over. If you must voice your displeasure, do so, but don't ask her out again.
 

Eddie3232

Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2022
Messages
23
Reaction score
8
Age
27
Say goodbye and give your back. A girl tried to fake she would do that to me by phone once in a time. I answered cold and unphased.
 

BDDazza

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
136
Reaction score
74
Had a woman I matched with on Bumble today, she didn't have anything to do except bake cookies
Said she would take a nap
We were texting, then I get a text 2.5 hours before the date saying she was "Tired" and "if we could talk more tomorrow"
I responded with "OK" and deleted her number and off bumble
No way would a woman be sympathetic to a man working 12 hours yet I'm supposed to pursue a woman who is tired of making cookies all day for a grad party?

Nope, there is always another one

Cheers!
Solomon, not trying to excuse her flaking but we don't know for sure that baking cookies is all she did. She might have had a super stressful situation or a mundane activity to complete. Online we all make ourselves seem like we are having fun, she isn't going to reveal her stresses to a stranger.

But yes I agree with your action as far as deleting her number for cancelling 2.5hours before the date due to tiredness, that is bad form.


With women you meet on dating apps or online THE only way to do this is through text

This nonsense of texting just to set up dates is advice given by guys who can't text ...... you need to smashing out ****y funny content in your messages and use sexual undertones / innuendo
This is very true, so many guys cling to the old concept of texting only to set up dates. If you are out of sight you're out of mind, and she will replace the void with another mans attention. You need to use your text game, wittiness, humour, innuendo game for her to remember you push for the date. Obviously there is a balance, so we have to know when to tone it down if she is clearly not interested or its not converting into a date.
 
Last edited:

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
Comply or bye. I do the same ignore. I ignore most flake jobs that cancel. Any cancellation, whether 3 hours or 3 days before, is a sign of low interest level. I don't have time for that shiit.
Time vampires are rubbish. Compliance is a tell tell sign for rating her interest level. Any flaking or noncompliance means #next!
 

Eddie3232

Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2022
Messages
23
Reaction score
8
Age
27
I have something going on right now in a case where the girl isn't even going on something sexual or "date" with me but invited me to join her friends as she sees me as her friend. The logistics to do this are far reaching and i cannot risk dumb delays from her to say where we're meeting as this is happening tomorrow before lunch. What i do? I will message her again and press up because i do not accept moving somewhere in a hurry without even knowing where i'm moving. If she doesn't replies, i'm not moving my ass and this is it. And if she replies but look upon me when we meet in real life, i will be happy to ignore her in person as much as she will likely ignore me there most of the time. No big deal. Flaking is even worse than this. It has to be because of some good reason or congruent to the context and excuse she gives.
 

RBK

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
376
Reaction score
427
Age
40
I never understood people who say "Not responding shows you're butthurt" a woman disrespected you and your time. Do you really think she cares about how you feel?

I got flaked on yesterday, now being in my late 30s I get annoyed about having my time wasted whereas in my 20s it was more so the hope of getting some. The reality is if you meeting a woman for the first time through OLD or at the bar/field etc. If she really cared about how you felt she wouldn't flake or make a strong counteroffer.

Spinning plates is always the remedy I took a break but now I might jump back in the game since it's summer
Yea, late 30s here too. Its my time being wasted or the planning I did for the date or work I moved around that annoys me at this point. Wasting my time makes me furious. I spend a lot less time now focusing on women than I use to as they are all the same. They have validation on tap all day long.
 
Joined
Jun 14, 2022
Messages
58
Reaction score
19
Age
35
I'm in SEA and most women who have flaked on my were the dodgy types that I should have never matched with in the first place anyway : Looks low-class, is below 160cm, has too much make up, shows too much skin, not enough profile description, mentions restaurants, mentions not having lots of money, etc... It can all be summarized by the adjectives "lower-class" and "trashy". Most of these types of women can be avoided with enough profile picture filtering experience, the rest of them can be detected by carefully reading the entire profile.

You also have to text a girl one day before the meeting in case it was setup multiple days in advance. Say "I'll confirm for the hour on thursday" if the meeting is on friday.

Once I started applying my filtering methodology, I almost never got any flake.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,056
Location
Inside her mind
Yea, late 30s here too. Its my time being wasted or the planning I did for the date or work I moved around that annoys me at this point. Wasting my time makes me furious. I spend a lot less time now focusing on women than I use to as they are all the same. They have validation on tap all day long.
This is one of the reasons why in the last few years I have put in low (minimal)effort in dating I.e. meeting women at my house, or not meeting up with women who seem lukewarm but that I could get more excited with tight game. It's a lot of energy to engage mid-low interest women. Granted the hot ones are always like this(in my experience because they don't have to put in any effort especially through OLD). But nowadays I really put in the effort if I notice the woman does the same.

I've noticed most women online make hardly any effort unless they really like you (or if she never met you is attracted to your pics)
 
  • Like
Reactions: RBK

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,056
Location
Inside her mind
I'm in SEA and most women who have flaked on my were the dodgy types that I should have never matched with in the first place anyway : Looks low-class, is below 160cm, has too much make up, shows too much skin, not enough profile description, mentions restaurants, mentions not having lots of money, etc... It can all be summarized by the adjectives "lower-class" and "trashy". Most of these types of women can be avoided with enough profile picture filtering experience, the rest of them can be detected by carefully reading the entire profile.

You also have to text a girl one day before the meeting in case it was setup multiple days in advance. Say "I'll confirm for the hour on thursday" if the meeting is on friday.

Once I started applying my filtering methodology, I almost never got any flake.
Women in SEA really mention not having money on their profiles? to me that's a red flag like when a woman says she is in an "open relationship" or "Poly"

Those women tend to be looney

Once you start dating women 30+ you noticed how a lot of them care about money especially if she is 35+ some broke chicks looking for a Chad to save'em
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,068
Reaction score
10,351
Once you start dating women 30+ you noticed how a lot of them care about money especially if she is 35+ some broke chicks looking for a Chad to save'em
Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) did an article about this many years ago.

 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,056
Location
Inside her mind
Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon) did an article about this many years ago.

The article is spot on I would also add that

She identifies as a Pansexual-Meaning she is attracted to more personality than looks. This just means she knows she can't attract the same type of man in her youth and will settle for the provider if he has the provision to provide

If you don't like Trump-You'll see this, especially with a lot of 30-40 year old WW. They know if they date a conservative that cuck shyt isn't gonna fly. I'm black in a liberal state but I'm not a liberal nor conservative more of an Independent. I try to avoid talking about politics and if it does come up. I don't try to engage seriously (for obvious reasons)

With these women what I find works for me is letting them know directly from the jump what you're looking for it cuts through the b.s. What I find works is if you frame it congruently it weeds out if she is DTS or not. Be warned though if the woman really likes you she will come cook, clean your place often in hopes of changing your mind
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,068
Reaction score
10,351
She identifies as a Pansexual-Meaning she is attracted to more personality than looks. This just means she knows she can't attract the same type of man in her youth and will settle for the provider if he has the provision to provide
You used the wrong term. The term you were looking to use is Demisexual. A demisexual is a woman is who is attracted to men for a close emotional bond. A pansexual is a woman is a woman attracted to all sexual orientations and identities.

In real life, a pansexual is a woman with multiple tattoos, piercings, and often oddly colored hair like blue, purple, or pink who is having sex with men, women, and sometimes non-gender binary people. Pansexuals generally are not concerned with finding a provider.

A demisexual is usually a heterosexual woman who won't have sex unless she feels a close emotional bond and gets commitment.

If you don't like Trump-You'll see this, especially with a lot of 30-40 year old WW. They know if they date a conservative that cuck shyt isn't gonna fly. I'm black in a liberal state but I'm not a liberal nor conservative more of an Independent. I try to avoid talking about politics and if it does come up. I don't try to engage seriously (for obvious reasons)

With these women what I find works for me is letting them know directly from the jump what you're looking for it cuts through the b.s. What I find works is if you frame it congruently it weeds out if she is DTS or not. Be warned though if the woman really likes you she will come cook, clean your place often in hopes of changing your mind
I don't really talk politics outside of family members and my closest friendships. Even with some male friends, I don't want to talk politics. The last place where I want to talk politics is with a woman I'm seducing. I might talk politics after a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has been established and our political viewpoints are similar or she demonstrates she can respect my points of view.

30-40 year old White women who are unmarried and childless are usually more liberal than conservative on the spectrum of political ideologies. On swipe apps, there are plenty of women who say "Swipe Left if You are Conservative". That's really a shiit test to be ignored for those who use swipe apps. Even still, those women are annoying in real life if you happen to match with them on a swipe app and get them out on a date.

So, you think 30-40 year old liberal White women prefer to date a liberal man because they think they can find a more compliant beta male amongst liberal men than conservative men?

I think there are plenty of beta males among both liberals and conservatives.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,056
Location
Inside her mind
You used the wrong term. The term you were looking to use is Demisexual. A demisexual is a woman is who is attracted to men for a close emotional bond. A pansexual is a woman is a woman attracted to all sexual orientations and identities.

In real life, a pansexual is a woman with multiple tattoos, piercings, and often oddly colored hair like blue, purple, or pink who is having sex with men, women, and sometimes non-gender binary people. Pansexuals generally are not concerned with finding a provider.

A demisexual is usually a heterosexual woman who won't have sex unless she feels a close emotional bond and gets commitment.



I don't really talk politics outside of family members and my closest friendships. Even with some male friends, I don't want to talk politics. The last place where I want to talk politics is with a woman I'm seducing. I might talk politics after a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has been established and our political viewpoints are similar or she demonstrates she can respect my points of view.

30-40 year old White women who are unmarried and childless are usually more liberal than conservative on the spectrum of political ideologies. On swipe apps, there are plenty of women who say "Swipe Left if You are Conservative". That's really a shiit test to be ignored for those who use swipe apps. Even still, those women are annoying in real life if you happen to match with them on a swipe app and get them out on a date.

So, you think 30-40 year old liberal White women prefer to date a liberal man because they think they can find a more compliant beta male amongst liberal men than conservative men?

I think there are plenty of beta males among both liberals and conservatives.
Thank you I see Demisxual, pansexual, sapiosexual I don't know WTF they all mean but I do know those women tend to be "Out there" and usually are full blown feminists (even if they are hot) once again this is my experience

Regarding your last part I don't know, once again I'm a black man living in the midwest in a state that's 92% white. I'm not trying to paint myself as a victim. I enjoy the weather, restaurants and plenty of things to do during the summer

But in my experience when I do date WW they assume off the bat I'm liberal and don't even get me started on black women (99% of them are democrat lol)
 

Eddie3232

Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2022
Messages
23
Reaction score
8
Age
27
You used the wrong term. The term you were looking to use is Demisexual. A demisexual is a woman is who is attracted to men for a close emotional bond. A pansexual is a woman is a woman attracted to all sexual orientations and identities.

In real life, a pansexual is a woman with multiple tattoos, piercings, and often oddly colored hair like blue, purple, or pink who is having sex with men, women, and sometimes non-gender binary people. Pansexuals generally are not concerned with finding a provider.

A demisexual is usually a heterosexual woman who won't have sex unless she feels a close emotional bond and gets commitment.
Some demisexuals are demi just in word. They will put her desires above the supposed vital bond and will give 100% more easy time and emotional opening to build the connection with for example (as in the case of our friend solomon, and i actually think this must be explored when detected to the advantage) a black guy instead of a white italian-looking guy like me OR even put a huge wall after certain point of confort if you do not fit her "preference". So there should be awareness that she may cheat you or leave you before LTR if she finds the kind of guy she "gets the bond easier" i.e can feel less thotty for being shallow or even racist while thirsting over some random guys who may actually not even give a **** about her.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Jun 14, 2022
Messages
58
Reaction score
19
Age
35
Women in SEA really mention not having money on their profiles? to me that's a red flag like when a woman says she is in an "open relationship" or "Poly"
No, but it has happened to me that a few women around 23-25 years old, when I suggested meeting somewhere, would say things such as "I don't have money to go out", or asking if we were going to a restaurant. These women could not be detected right from the start by looking at the profile description. They had normal pictures and were good-looking, slim. I think they were just trying to see what they could get away with, because I met 2 of them and they didn't strike me as poor or freelancers. Both lived in an affluent part of the city, quite near from my place actually. I lured them to my condo and they both refused me sex. Both promised at the 2nd date we would do it but they never accepted to meet again.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,755
Reaction score
2,246
Age
34
Sorry to dig up an old thread but I have just got this plate (whom I fuvked only once) cancel tonight's date with an excuse that her grandmother died yesterday lolz with no reschedule of course.

Talk about the most BS excuses women use when they don't want to see us due to low interest?
 
Top