How does a DJ/sosuaver "win" a girl back?

[_sideways_]

What's the proper way?

 

[ohrein]

I mean, I wouldn't. No contact can work if there's enough interest. Otherwise, raising your value would probably work. But I think trying to win a girl back is just sunk cost fallacy. Get over it and invest in some better stock.

 

[marmel75]

Bang her best friend but not because you are trying to get her back just because its fun.

She should be trying to "win" you back not the other way around. Poor mindset OP.

 

[_sideways_]

Wait, its poor mindset to want to hang out with a previous plate?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"win" what though?

 

[Serenity]

What's the proper way?

For years the proper way has been to NEXT, I don't think that fundamental truth has changed.

 

[RangerMIke]

Get off the ride and let the next guy have a turn. Go after other chicks. If she likes you, and she is available, she'll circle back around, if she doesn't then so what.... re-heating leftovers is not as much fun and fvcking new chicks.

 

[Spaz]

Any man with any self worth is worth winning - mindset of a woman.

Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.

It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Yeah this is one of the first (and probably hardest lessons) to learn. Still learning it myself.

You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".

All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.

Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.

And by high value male I mean:

- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring

Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.

 

[Spaz]

@MoreThanSmooth it takes years and on average peak around the age of 38-42.

It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.

I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.

 

[_sideways_]

Thanks guys.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.

In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.

Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.

Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.

 

[Glassguy]

I dont think its ever a good idea to "pursue" any ex, ex plate, ex fwb..........its far easier to start with a blank canvas than it is to try to cover up shyte that is already there. And much more fun too.

 

[Murk]

Move on, aim for better. It was never as good as your brain can trick you into thinking.

 

[Desdinova]

Take 5 years and fvck a bunch of other women. Then you may choose to go back to her

 

[_sideways_]

Damn guys...stone cold playas

 

[Reykhel]

What's the proper way?

Fvck that. move forward. Don't go back. learn to let go and move on. Free that energy up

 

[Reykhel]

That's what I'm missing

This is the key. Whatever you are missing from "what she brought to my life" are actually gapping holes in your personality.....

You are the gardner that needs to go to work to filling those holes in your garden. Otherwise you will always look for someone to
fill in those holes.

Get your hands dirty.

 

[Spidah]

My man, lose the scarcity mentality.

Nothing is more weak than chasing after some bytch who doesn't want you. Get your self-esteem up.

3.5 billion bitches on earth brother.

 

[ohrein]

Wait, its poor mindset to want to hang out with a previous plate?

The way you worded it, "win back a girl", suggested a hint of oneitis and rejection. If it's just a plate that had fallen naturally to the side then just contact her and hang out again.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Move on, aim for better. It was never as good as your brain can trick you into thinking.

I’ve found that it always feels “unique” when you have a good gf, so it hurts a lot when you lose her.

But then you get your next one and get the exact same feeling. Funny that!