_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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What's the proper way?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
How does a DJ/sosuaver "win" a girl back?
- Thread starter _sideways_
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I mean, I wouldn't. No contact can work if there's enough interest. Otherwise, raising your value would probably work. But I think trying to win a girl back is just sunk cost fallacy. Get over it and invest in some better stock.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Wait, its poor mindset to want to hang out with a previous plate?
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
"win" what though?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Serenity
Moderator
For years the proper way has been to NEXT, I don't think that fundamental truth has changed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Get off the ride and let the next guy have a turn. Go after other chicks. If she likes you, and she is available, she'll circle back around, if she doesn't then so what.... re-heating leftovers is not as much fun and fvcking new chicks.
Any man with any self worth is worth winning - mindset of a woman.
Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.
It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.
Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.
It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
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Yeah this is one of the first (and probably hardest lessons) to learn. Still learning it myself.
You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".
All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.
Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.
And by high value male I mean:
- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring
Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.
You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".
All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.
Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.
And by high value male I mean:
- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring
Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.
@MoreThanSmooth it takes years and on average peak around the age of 38-42.
It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.
I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.
It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.
I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Thanks guys.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.
In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.
Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.
Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.
In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.
Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.
Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Damn guys...stone cold playas
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Fvck that. move forward. Don't go back. learn to let go and move on. Free that energy up
This is the key. Whatever you are missing from "what she brought to my life" are actually gapping holes in your personality.....
You are the gardner that needs to go to work to filling those holes in your garden. Otherwise you will always look for someone to
fill in those holes.
Get your hands dirty.
The way you worded it, "win back a girl", suggested a hint of oneitis and rejection. If it's just a plate that had fallen naturally to the side then just contact her and hang out again.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
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I’ve found that it always feels “unique” when you have a good gf, so it hurts a lot when you lose her.
But then you get your next one and get the exact same feeling. Funny that!
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.