_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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What's the proper way?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
How does a DJ/sosuaver "win" a girl back?
- Thread starter _sideways_
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I mean, I wouldn't. No contact can work if there's enough interest. Otherwise, raising your value would probably work. But I think trying to win a girl back is just sunk cost fallacy. Get over it and invest in some better stock.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Wait, its poor mindset to want to hang out with a previous plate?
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
"win" what though?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Serenity
Moderator
For years the proper way has been to NEXT, I don't think that fundamental truth has changed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Get off the ride and let the next guy have a turn. Go after other chicks. If she likes you, and she is available, she'll circle back around, if she doesn't then so what.... re-heating leftovers is not as much fun and fvcking new chicks.
Any man with any self worth is worth winning - mindset of a woman.
Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.
It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.
Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.
It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
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Yeah this is one of the first (and probably hardest lessons) to learn. Still learning it myself.
You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".
All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.
Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.
And by high value male I mean:
- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring
Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.
You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".
All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.
Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.
And by high value male I mean:
- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring
Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.
@MoreThanSmooth it takes years and on average peak around the age of 38-42.
It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.
I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.
It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.
I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Thanks guys.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.
In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.
Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.
Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.
In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.
Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.
Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Damn guys...stone cold playas
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Fvck that. move forward. Don't go back. learn to let go and move on. Free that energy up
This is the key. Whatever you are missing from "what she brought to my life" are actually gapping holes in your personality.....
You are the gardner that needs to go to work to filling those holes in your garden. Otherwise you will always look for someone to
fill in those holes.
Get your hands dirty.
The way you worded it, "win back a girl", suggested a hint of oneitis and rejection. If it's just a plate that had fallen naturally to the side then just contact her and hang out again.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
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I’ve found that it always feels “unique” when you have a good gf, so it hurts a lot when you lose her.
But then you get your next one and get the exact same feeling. Funny that!
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.