_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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What's the proper way?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How does a DJ/sosuaver "win" a girl back?
- Thread starter _sideways_
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I mean, I wouldn't. No contact can work if there's enough interest. Otherwise, raising your value would probably work. But I think trying to win a girl back is just sunk cost fallacy. Get over it and invest in some better stock.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Wait, its poor mindset to want to hang out with a previous plate?
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
"win" what though?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Serenity
Moderator
For years the proper way has been to NEXT, I don't think that fundamental truth has changed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Get off the ride and let the next guy have a turn. Go after other chicks. If she likes you, and she is available, she'll circle back around, if she doesn't then so what.... re-heating leftovers is not as much fun and fvcking new chicks.
Any man with any self worth is worth winning - mindset of a woman.
Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.
It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.
Any man who thinks he needs to win women over has no self worth.
It's women who chooses the man and then takes initiative to seduce him covertly, she will chase a worthy man and won't let him out of her claws so easily.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
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Yeah this is one of the first (and probably hardest lessons) to learn. Still learning it myself.
You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".
All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.
Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.
And by high value male I mean:
- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring
Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.
You don't chase women. You don't try to raise their interest (aside from improving yourself; hitting the gym etc) and you certainly don't try to "win them back".
All that does is completely concede power to the woman. If she likes you, you might have a 10% chance of getting with her doing that. But you have a 90% chance of getting friend zoned or turned into her eunuch servant orbiter.
Instead you carve and train yourself into being a high value male and then you reap the rewards of it.
And by high value male I mean:
- You take good care of your physique, your sanitation and your looks
- You dress reasonably well
- You have a job you're fairly happy with at minimum
- You train yourself in conversation through regular social interaction
- You develop interesting hobbies or quirks that mean you're not boring
Do those things and develop confidence and you will become high value. Girls will want to be with you, you won't be chasing them around like a rabid dog chasing traffic.
@MoreThanSmooth it takes years and on average peak around the age of 38-42.
It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.
I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.
It will be faster if u r in a position of power - professionally; middle management onwards.
I would recommend others on here to strive towards being successful and efficient leaders of other men 1st.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 31, 2013
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Thanks guys.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.
In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.
Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.
Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.
She was cool enough to sit back with some wine, Netflix, and massages. That's what I'm missing. Plus she didn't talk so much like most girls.
In my past, I usually do squirm my way back into the "relationship". Idk, its better to be with me than without I say.
Still got another plate, but that other one had something about her.
Still haven't engaged on anything though. I think I was just tired last night.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Damn guys...stone cold playas
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Fvck that. move forward. Don't go back. learn to let go and move on. Free that energy up
This is the key. Whatever you are missing from "what she brought to my life" are actually gapping holes in your personality.....
You are the gardner that needs to go to work to filling those holes in your garden. Otherwise you will always look for someone to
fill in those holes.
Get your hands dirty.
The way you worded it, "win back a girl", suggested a hint of oneitis and rejection. If it's just a plate that had fallen naturally to the side then just contact her and hang out again.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
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I’ve found that it always feels “unique” when you have a good gf, so it hurts a lot when you lose her.
But then you get your next one and get the exact same feeling. Funny that!
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.