How do you cure neediness?

[crowolf]

Everybody here knows that neediness is the biggest pu55y repellent.

However, how exactly do you fix that?

Lately I've been thinking about this.

Luckily, not for myself, but rather for 2 mates - different wingmen / friends.

One guy is 23, the other is 35. Both are very needy, and this stomps their efforts to successfully attract and have a woman by their side.

Maybe it comes with age or experience - when you've had enough of dealing with bs, and now you have no time for wasting time and energy. You stop chasing stupidly, and you actually know what you want and what you will not tolerate.

Maybe it comes from having talked to enough beautiful women, that it doesn't really phase you that much anymore. And you've also been "rejected" enough times, so you stop overthinking and putting massive importance too early on any new woman you've met.

Maybe it comes with abundance of options (although right now I don't have that, but the simple mindset of no forcing things and keeping my peace of mind actually makes me have 0 neediness, and it's amazing).

So, what do you think is the cure for neediness?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Focusing on self mastery relentlessly until you're proud to work on yourself. You naturally become picky with whom you want to share your abundance with. There's no conscious "I need to focus on being less needy", it just manifests organically with enough self work through confidence and charisma. Easier said than done of course.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The less you seem to need other people, the more likely they are to be drawn to you. The cure for neediness is not making one person responsible for how you feel. When you rely on someone for attention or validation, it creates pressure, and that pressure pushes people away. When you understand this, neediness becomes easier to suppress because you stop treating others as something you must get something from, and instead interact without dependence or pressure, staying more comfortable on your own and naturally more attractive.

 

[plumber]

i have heard a few men tell something like... you should be comfortable being alone before you can be effective with others. when looking via the lens of neediness it makes sense. it teaches us to find our own approval instead of needing that from another.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It starts internally.

They don't believe they are the catch, and need constant reassurance from the woman that they are still interested.

Probably are lacking in Testosterone. So the first step is get their T levels checked.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Have a life! Yall too busy being bored af on the couch praying a woman texts you backs.

 

[Plinco]

Neediness is a symptom of a false sense of self trying to fill a void.

 

[BadBoy89]

Everybody here knows that neediness is the biggest pu55y repellent.

Luckily, not for myself, but rather for 2 mates - different wingmen / friends.

One guy is 23, the other is 35. Both are very needy, and this stomps their efforts to successfully attract and have a woman by their side.

So, what do you think is the cure for neediness?

Why don't you just tell your 2 mates what you do to not be needy. Why are you asking us?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Theres no cure other than self development

A lot of people really really struggle being alone or by themselves and need a source of constant stimulation / validation just to stop them going mental

friends and family can often only fill that void to a certain point

This is where the NEED for a partner and later kids comes in.

The funniest thing is when a needy woman and needy man meet it always burns white hot for the honey moon phase and then usually explodes later down the line

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Focusing on self mastery relentlessly until you're proud to work on yourself. You naturally become picky with whom you want to share your abundance with. There's no conscious "I need to focus on being less needy", it just manifests organically with enough self work through confidence and charisma. Easier said than done of course.

everything you just described sounds like mental masturbation to me

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The sub is going to hate this, but I'm that guy

In order of effectiveness - get laid (through an escort if you need to), masturbate, get engrossed in an interest, meditate

At least 3 should be easily available. 4 if you're not broke.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

everything you just described sounds like mental masturbation to me

It was the "relentlessly" bit that gave it away

 

[jhonny9546]

If I can contribute.
When I hung out with others, I felt like I needed them to do something.
Nowadays, however, I feel like I should have the responsibility to tell them what to do and how to do it.

Capisci?
It's as if I used to see myself as a child who needed others in order to approve me to do things, but now I'm more of a parent and I see others as children to whom I have to explain things.

It's a selfish view, but it helps clarify your role as a man in society. It can only do good.

When you rely on someone for attention or validation, it creates pressure, and that pressure pushes people away.

This is my experience when I have to meet some expectation on social media. Wonder if you felt that too.

The funniest thing is when a needy woman and needy man meet it always burns white hot for the honey moon phase and then usually explodes later down the line

Or it will make a lifelong toxic relationship.

 

[BeExcellent]

Love thyself.

All neediness arises from a sense of lack that manifests in one way or another in a feeling of inadequacy. A mindset where the individual thinks something external will "complete" him or her. You are already complete. You are enough. It is your job to love yourself, be your best friend, be your strongest advocate.

Your friends have to arrive at this truth within themselves. It is a journey of individual self awareness and growth.

Simple. Perhaps not easy.

 

[Sega Genesis]

The less you seem to need other people, the more likely they are to be drawn to you. The cure for neediness is not making one person responsible for how you feel. When you rely on someone for attention or validation, it creates pressure, and that pressure pushes people away. When you understand this, neediness becomes easier to suppress because you stop treating others as something you must get something from, and instead interact without dependence or pressure, staying more comfortable on your own and naturally more attractive.

^^100%. I like how you framed it as "suppress" as I think we all (or many of us) can feel needy at times especially during times of uncertainty.

It can be difficult sometimes to just shut that down completely but we can learn to contain it. To suppress it for all the reasons listed in @Clockwerk50 post.

In time after experiencing the positive benefits of containing it and how people respond to you, shutting down neediness completely becomes more natural, part of your essence and who you are internally.

 

[corrector]

One underrated factor is touch deprivation.

For some guys, neediness is not only about mindset or lack of options. It can also come from going long periods without any normal human warmth or physical contact. I’ve found regular massage helpful for that reason. It takes some of the “starving for contact” edge off, which makes it easier not to put too much emotional weight on one woman.

AI/chat can also help a bit as a pressure valve for loneliness, though obviously it should not replace real life. But if a guy is isolated, stressed, or in survival mode, anything that helps him regulate himself can reduce the urge to seek validation from women.

So I’d say the cure is partly self-development, but also learning how to meet some basic emotional and physical needs without making one woman responsible for all of them.