"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Heartbroken over a woman that I wasn't really into

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ScottKayman

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Bit of a wierd one, I was with this woman for a few months. If I'm going to be honest I wasn't really in to her but kept the realtionship going because we had amazing sex together. Anyway, she finished it the other day saying I obviosuly wasn't in to her which is fair enough. The problem is now I feel like I really want her. wtf! Why do I feel heartbroken over a woman that I wasn't really into and now feel like I deperately want her back? I know if we did get back together I would probably go back to feeling like I wasn't into her again.
What's going on here?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ThisIsSparta

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ScottKayman said:
What's going on here?
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DO you really want her back? Or do you feel something else?(Guilt?)

Maybe, for the time being, you had all you wanted from a woman. Great sex, fun, good company..... now its gone and the alternative is no sex, a quiet home and maybe lonelyness?
 
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ScottKayman

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ThisIsSparta said:
DO you really want her back? Or do you feel something else?(Guilt?)
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I feel like I want her back. But maybe that just my mind playing tricks on me. What if we got back together and I felt the same as before?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrgoodstuff

mrgoodstuff

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ThisIsSparta said:
DO you really want her back? Or do you feel something else?(Guilt?)

Maybe, for the time being, you had all you wanted from a woman. Great sex, fun, good company..... now its gone and the alternative is no sex, a quiet home and maybe lonelyness?
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Now SHE is gone. The alternative is one of the millions of more compatible ladies that exist.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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mrgoodstuff

mrgoodstuff

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ScottKayman said:
@mrgoodstuff How do you do that?
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Time. Once your ego gets crushed... You have to start over. So when you start over you adjust your values. In my situation, I learned that being more honest with myself yielded more strength, but it takes time to develop. However that foundation does not shake apart easily since it's not built on lies... If you are a man whose going to have interactions with women, you have to be honest with yourself about what's good for you, but also what the REALITY in the market has been for the last 10 years... So we can't reorg for a "unicorn" which does not exist. We have to partake in some of the stuff that's really there, but avoiding some of the ones that we know aren't good for us, or minimizing our damage.
 
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Lookatu

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All valid points above. You will continue feeling like this until you find another girl. Then the previous one will be nothing but a spec of dust to you most likely.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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