"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Heartbroken over a woman that I wasn't really into

ScottKayman

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Bit of a wierd one, I was with this woman for a few months. If I'm going to be honest I wasn't really in to her but kept the realtionship going because we had amazing sex together. Anyway, she finished it the other day saying I obviosuly wasn't in to her which is fair enough. The problem is now I feel like I really want her. wtf! Why do I feel heartbroken over a woman that I wasn't really into and now feel like I deperately want her back? I know if we did get back together I would probably go back to feeling like I wasn't into her again.
What's going on here?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

ThisIsSparta

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What's going on here?
DO you really want her back? Or do you feel something else?(Guilt?)

Maybe, for the time being, you had all you wanted from a woman. Great sex, fun, good company..... now its gone and the alternative is no sex, a quiet home and maybe lonelyness?
 

ScottKayman

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DO you really want her back? Or do you feel something else?(Guilt?)
I feel like I want her back. But maybe that just my mind playing tricks on me. What if we got back together and I felt the same as before?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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mrgoodstuff

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DO you really want her back? Or do you feel something else?(Guilt?)

Maybe, for the time being, you had all you wanted from a woman. Great sex, fun, good company..... now its gone and the alternative is no sex, a quiet home and maybe lonelyness?
Now SHE is gone. The alternative is one of the millions of more compatible ladies that exist.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrgoodstuff

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@mrgoodstuff How do you do that?
Time. Once your ego gets crushed... You have to start over. So when you start over you adjust your values. In my situation, I learned that being more honest with myself yielded more strength, but it takes time to develop. However that foundation does not shake apart easily since it's not built on lies... If you are a man whose going to have interactions with women, you have to be honest with yourself about what's good for you, but also what the REALITY in the market has been for the last 10 years... So we can't reorg for a "unicorn" which does not exist. We have to partake in some of the stuff that's really there, but avoiding some of the ones that we know aren't good for us, or minimizing our damage.
 

Lookatu

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All valid points above. You will continue feeling like this until you find another girl. Then the previous one will be nothing but a spec of dust to you most likely.
 
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