Doctor Europeo
Moderator
She wants me to talk as much as (she says) she does but I don´t always feel like talking.
Adviced appreciated
Adviced appreciated
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Gf gets mad when I´m being quiet
- Thread starter Doctor Europeo
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
This is likely a sh!t test. If you feel there is some merit to her argument that you talk too little, you may want to just quietly improve on that without talking about it.
If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.
Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?
If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.
Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?
Serenity
Moderator
Then clearly she is not for you, tell her she has 2 options, either respect your feelings or find a talker.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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The silence makes her feel uncomfortable. She has got something bothering her greatly in her subconscious and she wants you to talk so that she gets into her conscious. **** her. If she has got problems with herself and wants your talking to keep that off her mind, that's not your job. You're not there to be her pleaser. If you don't feel like talking, don't ****in' talk. And ask her what bothers here because there is definitely something in her that comes up with the thoughts and feelings when there is silence and quiet around her.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Sometimes she starts conversation but I'm not in the mood for talking so I just nod, smile or say "ok" and she gets pissed. I've told her more than once that I'm not doing it un purpose but telling her that doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
Doesn't feel like a $hit test, I think it really irritates her.
When we started dating we only saw each other once a week and awkward silences were rare. Now that we are in a relationship I often find myself bored at the tought of making small talk.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
For some reason this reminds of the scene in Dumbe and Dumber where Harry tells Lloyd how his girlfriend broke up with him.
"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."
"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
She could be trying unknowingly, to turn you into a male girlfriend. The end of this, is the dreaded friendzone.
Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.
Also, could be, a personality difference.
Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.
Also, could be, a personality difference.
backseatjuan
Banned
Good thing she told you.
She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?
Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?
Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Normal chick ****. The more you date, the more you will discover this is normal. When she brings this up, joke around with her and play with her a bit, she just wants attention. If she keeps it up, dump her.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
When it's someone I haven't seen or talked to in a while, sure. But this is a relationship; I worried about avoiding awkward silence at the beginning but never thought I had to still do that at this point. Apparently I'm going to have this issue as long as the relationship lasts, either that or put my foot down.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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- Feb 4, 2008
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I had this happen to me with my last girlfriend. The issue was two-fold. She was having some negative/guilty feelings about our relationship that she was trying to suppress and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I was just simply listening and didn't have much to say. She wanted a two-way conversation to help her feel good about "us" yet she gave no clue that she had negative feelings about our relationship.
Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.
Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
If you find that you often really don't feel like talking to a girl you're seeing, that's a sure sign that there is a deeper problem in the relationship. She is probably sensing that things have changed in how you regard her and she is concerned about it.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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I don't want to discount what you are saying but sometimes I just don't feel like talking period and it will have nothing to do with any person. Its usually because I'm tired, don't have anything to say, or have other things on my mind that don't involve her.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
That's normal. We men tend to speak much less than women do. Sometimes, though, men essentially close down permanently because something is wrong and even they don't know what it is. In those cases, the woman will notice and is right to be concerned.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.