Doctor Europeo
Moderator
She wants me to talk as much as (she says) she does but I don´t always feel like talking.
Adviced appreciated
Adviced appreciated
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Gf gets mad when I´m being quiet
- Thread starter Doctor Europeo
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
This is likely a sh!t test. If you feel there is some merit to her argument that you talk too little, you may want to just quietly improve on that without talking about it.
If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.
Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?
If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.
Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?
Serenity
Moderator
Then clearly she is not for you, tell her she has 2 options, either respect your feelings or find a talker.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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The silence makes her feel uncomfortable. She has got something bothering her greatly in her subconscious and she wants you to talk so that she gets into her conscious. **** her. If she has got problems with herself and wants your talking to keep that off her mind, that's not your job. You're not there to be her pleaser. If you don't feel like talking, don't ****in' talk. And ask her what bothers here because there is definitely something in her that comes up with the thoughts and feelings when there is silence and quiet around her.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Sometimes she starts conversation but I'm not in the mood for talking so I just nod, smile or say "ok" and she gets pissed. I've told her more than once that I'm not doing it un purpose but telling her that doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
Doesn't feel like a $hit test, I think it really irritates her.
When we started dating we only saw each other once a week and awkward silences were rare. Now that we are in a relationship I often find myself bored at the tought of making small talk.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
For some reason this reminds of the scene in Dumbe and Dumber where Harry tells Lloyd how his girlfriend broke up with him.
"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."
"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
She could be trying unknowingly, to turn you into a male girlfriend. The end of this, is the dreaded friendzone.
Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.
Also, could be, a personality difference.
Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.
Also, could be, a personality difference.
backseatjuan
Banned
Good thing she told you.
She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?
Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?
Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Normal chick ****. The more you date, the more you will discover this is normal. When she brings this up, joke around with her and play with her a bit, she just wants attention. If she keeps it up, dump her.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
When it's someone I haven't seen or talked to in a while, sure. But this is a relationship; I worried about avoiding awkward silence at the beginning but never thought I had to still do that at this point. Apparently I'm going to have this issue as long as the relationship lasts, either that or put my foot down.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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I had this happen to me with my last girlfriend. The issue was two-fold. She was having some negative/guilty feelings about our relationship that she was trying to suppress and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I was just simply listening and didn't have much to say. She wanted a two-way conversation to help her feel good about "us" yet she gave no clue that she had negative feelings about our relationship.
Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.
Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
If you find that you often really don't feel like talking to a girl you're seeing, that's a sure sign that there is a deeper problem in the relationship. She is probably sensing that things have changed in how you regard her and she is concerned about it.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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I don't want to discount what you are saying but sometimes I just don't feel like talking period and it will have nothing to do with any person. Its usually because I'm tired, don't have anything to say, or have other things on my mind that don't involve her.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
That's normal. We men tend to speak much less than women do. Sometimes, though, men essentially close down permanently because something is wrong and even they don't know what it is. In those cases, the woman will notice and is right to be concerned.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.