Doctor Europeo
Moderator
She wants me to talk as much as (she says) she does but I don´t always feel like talking.
Adviced appreciated
Adviced appreciated
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Gf gets mad when I´m being quiet
- Thread starter Doctor Europeo
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
This is likely a sh!t test. If you feel there is some merit to her argument that you talk too little, you may want to just quietly improve on that without talking about it.
If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.
Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?
If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.
Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?
Serenity
Moderator
Then clearly she is not for you, tell her she has 2 options, either respect your feelings or find a talker.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2016
- Messages
- 1,884
- Reaction score
- 1,546
The silence makes her feel uncomfortable. She has got something bothering her greatly in her subconscious and she wants you to talk so that she gets into her conscious. **** her. If she has got problems with herself and wants your talking to keep that off her mind, that's not your job. You're not there to be her pleaser. If you don't feel like talking, don't ****in' talk. And ask her what bothers here because there is definitely something in her that comes up with the thoughts and feelings when there is silence and quiet around her.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Sometimes she starts conversation but I'm not in the mood for talking so I just nod, smile or say "ok" and she gets pissed. I've told her more than once that I'm not doing it un purpose but telling her that doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
Doesn't feel like a $hit test, I think it really irritates her.
When we started dating we only saw each other once a week and awkward silences were rare. Now that we are in a relationship I often find myself bored at the tought of making small talk.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
For some reason this reminds of the scene in Dumbe and Dumber where Harry tells Lloyd how his girlfriend broke up with him.
"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."
"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
She could be trying unknowingly, to turn you into a male girlfriend. The end of this, is the dreaded friendzone.
Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.
Also, could be, a personality difference.
Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.
Also, could be, a personality difference.
backseatjuan
Banned
Good thing she told you.
She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?
Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?
Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Normal chick ****. The more you date, the more you will discover this is normal. When she brings this up, joke around with her and play with her a bit, she just wants attention. If she keeps it up, dump her.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
When it's someone I haven't seen or talked to in a while, sure. But this is a relationship; I worried about avoiding awkward silence at the beginning but never thought I had to still do that at this point. Apparently I'm going to have this issue as long as the relationship lasts, either that or put my foot down.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,542
- Reaction score
- 11,502
I had this happen to me with my last girlfriend. The issue was two-fold. She was having some negative/guilty feelings about our relationship that she was trying to suppress and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I was just simply listening and didn't have much to say. She wanted a two-way conversation to help her feel good about "us" yet she gave no clue that she had negative feelings about our relationship.
Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.
Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
If you find that you often really don't feel like talking to a girl you're seeing, that's a sure sign that there is a deeper problem in the relationship. She is probably sensing that things have changed in how you regard her and she is concerned about it.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,542
- Reaction score
- 11,502
I don't want to discount what you are saying but sometimes I just don't feel like talking period and it will have nothing to do with any person. Its usually because I'm tired, don't have anything to say, or have other things on my mind that don't involve her.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
That's normal. We men tend to speak much less than women do. Sometimes, though, men essentially close down permanently because something is wrong and even they don't know what it is. In those cases, the woman will notice and is right to be concerned.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.