Gf gets mad when I´m being quiet

[Doctor Europeo]

She wants me to talk as much as (she says) she does but I don´t always feel like talking.

Adviced appreciated

 

[Atom Smasher]

This is likely a sh!t test. If you feel there is some merit to her argument that you talk too little, you may want to just quietly improve on that without talking about it.

If not, tell her this is who you are... take it or leave it.

Do you think there is merit to what she is saying? A man is never going to yap as much as a woman does, but are you quiet to the point of being awkward or dismissive of her?

 

[El Payaso]

Don't buy into her frame. Stick to who you are.

Remember, empty barrels make the most noise.

 

[Billtx49]

She needs to respect and accept you for who you are. No matter how quiet that is, if you are naturally quiet.

 

[Serenity]

Then clearly she is not for you, tell her she has 2 options, either respect your feelings or find a talker.

 

[ubercat]

Turn it round. Say u do talk a lot with a thoughtful look. Then leave the room and get busy with some activity.

Do u guys socialise much?

 

[lizardking82]

The silence makes her feel uncomfortable. She has got something bothering her greatly in her subconscious and she wants you to talk so that she gets into her conscious. **** her. If she has got problems with herself and wants your talking to keep that off her mind, that's not your job. You're not there to be her pleaser. If you don't feel like talking, don't ****in' talk. And ask her what bothers here because there is definitely something in her that comes up with the thoughts and feelings when there is silence and quiet around her.

 

[ubercat]

Either r possibilities. OP u need to kick in with some more info

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Either r possibilities. OP u need to kick in with some more info[/QUOT Sometimes she stars conversation but I just say "ok" or nod after

Either r possibilities. OP u need to kick in with some more info

Sometimes she starts conversation but I'm not in the mood for talking so I just nod, smile or say "ok" and she gets pissed. I've told her more than once that I'm not doing it un purpose but telling her that doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

Doesn't feel like a $hit test, I think it really irritates her.

When we started dating we only saw each other once a week and awkward silences were rare. Now that we are in a relationship I often find myself bored at the tought of making small talk.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

For some reason this reminds of the scene in Dumbe and Dumber where Harry tells Lloyd how his girlfriend broke up with him.

"Why's that Harry?"
"She said something about me never really listening to her. I dunno, I wasn't really listening."

 

[wifehunter]

She could be trying unknowingly, to turn you into a male girlfriend. The end of this, is the dreaded friendzone.

Remember, when people talk alot, there more of a chance of misunderstanding. As English is already, a difficult language.

Also, could be, a personality difference.

 

[ubercat]

Ok do you actually rate yourself as a good conversationalist?

 

[backseatjuan]

Good thing she told you.

She starts conversation, and you are not in the mood for talking, that's a major turn off. Picture you starting conversation and she is not in the mood for talking. Turn off?

Change it, when she starts conversation, talk with her. Couples that live really long term get over their problems. Obviously you are not in the mood, you have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.

 

[RangerMIke]

Normal chick ****. The more you date, the more you will discover this is normal. When she brings this up, joke around with her and play with her a bit, she just wants attention. If she keeps it up, dump her.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Ok do you actually rate yourself as a good conversationalist?

When it's someone I haven't seen or talked to in a while, sure. But this is a relationship; I worried about avoiding awkward silence at the beginning but never thought I had to still do that at this point. Apparently I'm going to have this issue as long as the relationship lasts, either that or put my foot down.

 

[The Duke]

I had this happen to me with my last girlfriend. The issue was two-fold. She was having some negative/guilty feelings about our relationship that she was trying to suppress and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I was just simply listening and didn't have much to say. She wanted a two-way conversation to help her feel good about "us" yet she gave no clue that she had negative feelings about our relationship.

Women constantly look for you to validate their feelings. And me not conversing with her did nothing to reassure her that our relationship was fine. I don't think they ever stop evaluating the relationship.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If you find that you often really don't feel like talking to a girl you're seeing, that's a sure sign that there is a deeper problem in the relationship. She is probably sensing that things have changed in how you regard her and she is concerned about it.

 

[The Duke]

If you find that you often really don't feel like talking to a girl you're seeing, that's a sure sign that there is a deeper problem in the relationship. She is probably sensing that things have changed in how you regard her and she is concerned about it.

I don't want to discount what you are saying but sometimes I just don't feel like talking period and it will have nothing to do with any person. Its usually because I'm tired, don't have anything to say, or have other things on my mind that don't involve her.

 

[The Duke]

xxxxxx

 

[Atom Smasher]

I don't want to discount what you are saying but sometimes I just don't feel like talking period and it will have nothing to do with any person. Its usually because I'm tired, don't have anything to say, or have other things on my mind that don't involve her.

That's normal. We men tend to speak much less than women do. Sometimes, though, men essentially close down permanently because something is wrong and even they don't know what it is. In those cases, the woman will notice and is right to be concerned.