I am new to forum and 5o year old guy and wondering best way to get over outcome based feeling and not caring about success(ie Tao of Steve). I also can't seem to approach woman that I am not attracted to. Is it just hard pill to swallow or is there any recommendations.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Getting over outcome based feeling
- Thread starter jreb14
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
I usually feel this way if I catch myself going back to my old "chasing girls" habit... If they're chasing you, you let them worry about any outcomes.
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
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As a man that is 53 I would suggest you game all women, even those that you are not attracted to. If you get them naked and feel their skin against yours I'm sure you would feel like f ucking them. Do this to improve your game. It's easy to get over outcome based feelings. Do your best and understand that you can't control everything. Do your best and learn from your mistakes.
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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You should not approach women you are not attracted, what's the point of that?
Getting to a place where the result will not affect you as much requires you to be OK in your other life aspects. If you are chill and doing OK in finances, health and hobbies, you will definitely be less worried about whether some chick will accept you or not because there are tons of chicks out there. Do not be lazy as it is quite easy to get comfortable and become rusty. Get out there and approach the girls you like, the ones you find attractive.
Getting to a place where the result will not affect you as much requires you to be OK in your other life aspects. If you are chill and doing OK in finances, health and hobbies, you will definitely be less worried about whether some chick will accept you or not because there are tons of chicks out there. Do not be lazy as it is quite easy to get comfortable and become rusty. Get out there and approach the girls you like, the ones you find attractive.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
More field testing. The more you fail and maintain your frame, the less you're affected by rejection.
Well yeah, me either.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Rejection is good, it saves you from BS, and having to screen / vet them. They did the work for you!
