"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Friendzone and "best friends make best lovers"

jhonny9546

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The friendzone is a state that is created when our behavior is not aligned with the outcome we want.

This video explains it very well

Once the first step—the choice—is successfully made, and you're not considered just a friend but his boyfriend, how should you behave correctly for a LTR, and how does that differ from your original behavior in the first instance?

For example, they also say "best friends make best lovers" https://www.quora.com/Why-do-our-friends-make-the-best-relationship-partners

also
stating that relationships fail because one partner doesnt satisfy the desire/urge to be understood.
I don't think my grandma was understood by my grandpa, but they managed to trive 70 years togheter.

Make light on this.
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BaronOfHair

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The friendzone is a state that is created when our behavior is not aligned with the outcome we want
Really?!!! I was under the impression that this was the portion of the field that's right next to the In Zone
 

BackInTheGame78

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Some people get comfortable and would rather settle than start over. That's how relationships used to work far more than they do today.

That's when the two people essentially became roommates and the bedroom was deader than a doornail.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I'm going with "familiarity breeds contempt"
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BillyPilgrim

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The friendzone is a state that is created when our behavior is not aligned with the outcome we want.

This video explains it very well

Once the first step—the choice—is successfully made, and you're not considered just a friend but his boyfriend, how should you behave correctly for a LTR, and how does that differ from your original behavior in the first instance?

For example, they also say "best friends make best lovers" https://www.quora.com/Why-do-our-friends-make-the-best-relationship-partners

also
stating that relationships fail because one partner doesnt satisfy the desire/urge to be understood.
I don't think my grandma was understood by my grandpa, but they managed to trive 70 years togheter.

Make light on this.
Lol doesn't Italian Culture tell their men to "suck it up" when dealing with their haglike and nagging women? There's not much to understanding Italian Women, the veneration of the virgin mary by the catholic church drives them insane. Because they're not supposed to phuck, they channel their sexual energy into fashion, food, and drama.
 
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DJ Novice

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The friendzone strategy can take years to succeed and even then there’s no guarantee of success. If you want to pursue this approach I would invest absolutely bare minimal effort (e.g. texts/calls/catchups just a few times a year if that) and make sure you pursue other options. Don’t get oneitis with someone in the friendzone category, it’s a recipe for disappointment.
 

jhonny9546

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Lol doesn't Italian Culture tell their men to "suck it up" when dealing with their haglike and nagging women? There's not much to understanding Italian Women, the veneration of the virgin mary by the catholic church drives them insane. Because they're not supposed to phuck, they channel their sexual energy into fashion, food, and drama.
Very true, for the most cases, but there are many LTR's in which a woman is dominated in every aspect.. and believe me.. she will still cheat on his husband.
Work on yourself. Female friends will eventually make a move if they see changes.
This happened to me, and other than IOI's and other things, I started to see that those women behaviour changed a bit. Just to cite an example, a old women friend would no more touch me or hug me like she have done before, and so, have a masculine behaviour, but instead now she's so feminine and submissive in my presence.
So, also women change their behaviour accordingly to our current person. The "Who you are right now".
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Divorced w 3

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I do agree with this sentiment.

The only caveat about being best friends is that best friends can have the most vicious fights - but you typically don’t fvck your male best friend and make up like it’s going to be Armageddon the following morning so that’s a plus.
 

Vanderdonck

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So, also women change their behaviour accordingly to our current person. The "Who you are right now".
Exactly. They live moment to moment. The friend zone is an illusion and even if it exists (which it only does in the man's mind), it is impermanent.
 

Doctor Europeo

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Imo that's too much pressure on any woman, a woman will never be a male and will never give you the friendship a good male will.

There are men who make their women their best friends, mother, daughter, therapist, authority figure. No one wants that kind of pressure, that's why women detest needy men, cause they know those guys impose a lot of pressure on any woman.
Speaking in generals, I wouldnt diasagree with you. In particular, I was never looking for a "Best friend"; we just have so many common interests that It kind of happened naturally with the passing of time In the relationship
 

BaronOfHair

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The only caveat about being best friends is that best friends can have the most vicious fights - but you typically don’t fvck your male best friend and make up like it’s going to be Armageddon the following morning so that’s a plus.
Spend 6 months to a year in state pen
 

MatureDJ

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I'd rather have a woman that feels the need to sex me up regularly so that I don't go looking for a replacement.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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MatureDJ

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The friendzone strategy can take years to succeed and even then there’s no guarantee of success. If you want to pursue this approach I would invest absolutely bare minimal effort (e.g. texts/calls/catchups just a few times a year if that) and make sure you pursue other options. Don’t get oneitis with someone in the friendzone category, it’s a recipe for disappointment.
The key to doing this right is to not give up other opportunities to do stuff with the "friend". I mean, if you were just going to sit at home and look at p0rn, then you might as well hang out with the "friend".
 

holidayad_

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The worst thing a man can do is enter and stay in the friendzone hoping to eventually get some p*ssy.

Moreover, the woman will always think you're seeking affection.

This will diminish your value.

Not worth it.
 

Gamisch

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The friendzone is a state that is created when our behavior is not aligned with the outcome we want.

This video explains it very well

Once the first step—the choice—is successfully made, and you're not considered just a friend but his boyfriend, how should you behave correctly for a LTR, and how does that differ from your original behavior in the first instance?

For example, they also say "best friends make best lovers" https://www.quora.com/Why-do-our-friends-make-the-best-relationship-partners

also
stating that relationships fail because one partner doesnt satisfy the desire/urge to be understood.
I don't think my grandma was understood by my grandpa, but they managed to trive 70 years togheter.

Make light on this.
Nope( with all due respect) .

I've learned that women readonly COMPLETELY different than men. A man won't hang with a woman unless there's a clear benefit to it. If he likes her then yes, he'll play the waiting game in hopes of catching her in a moment of weakness.

But everyday you don't " make that move " you'll lose her respect. For a woman attraction triumphs connection. If she's attracted to you she'll and has any kind of relationship with you she will automatically be your " friend ". But then again, sosuave.net is full of men who saw their " best friend" monkey branch and disappear once the attraction faded. A true friend doesn't need attraction like that ( even if it's a female friend).

I'd even say that sometimes the " male definition" of friendship isn't even necessary to sustain a ltr. You mentioned your grandparents. Plenty of long-time married couples hardly ever speak
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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