"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Frame vs being stubborn
- Thread starter Pumax
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Plinco
Master Don Juan
Having a functional sense of reality along having emotional fortitude versus being emotionally clingy to set beliefs.
The key is rationality. In other words, observations and experience is the starting point, followed by conceptualization guided by logic and then formulated into principles. <-- the main components of rational thought and the mechanism of the improvement of one's relationship with reality.
Pumax
Don Juan
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So if she says "we need to go travel" and you say "no, there will be no travel this week I do have soccer match" and you hold that even if she get upset and then after she become sweet again and you have make up sex.
Is that holding the frame?
Or just being stubborn?
Do you know Pook? Here is a quote from him.
"A Man, Focuses on his dreams.
No, this does not include the chick. You must have passion for something in life, something you even want to do for the rest of your
life. Your romantic life is an echo of your regular life."
The world seems to be like a mirror as far as I can tell from my experience. It makes sense to me.
BillyPilgrim
Master Don Juan
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
BillyPilgrim
Master Don Juan
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No, the key is discernment. Reading people and knowing when to soften your stance when needed.
Plinco
Master Don Juan
I'm trying to figure out why you would say that. Frame is having a strong sense of context. A really simplified example would be to have complete confidence that 2+2=4, and having the emotional fortitude to express that confidently despite any pressure or pleasure that might divert you away from that conclusion.
Discernment is based on pattern recognition. So if you want to get to the essence on what 'frame' is, in the proper sense, is the emotional fortitude to hold the context of the integration of reality.
Cheeky_James
Master Don Juan
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She may say “you’re so stubborn” or whatever.
just pick your battles , if it’s important to you and a core value= hold the frame.
If you go soccer every week and the travel is important to the relationship and you haven’t spent good time together lately then there’s no need I would think. Depends how important the soccer match is to you.