"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

Status
Not open for further replies.

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,940
Age
42
Location
Florida
I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,940
Age
42
Location
Florida
Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,945
Reaction score
19,260
Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,940
Age
42
Location
Florida
Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.
Is there anything you'd like to add to that or do you want to keep it vague?

Of course I have some ideas on why that isn't working. I'm not that worried about it
 
Last edited:

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

plumber

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
1,014
Reaction score
860
Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.
give him a list of 10 things to pick from that he should say instead of that one. if a man does not have instinct... then must have structure.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,940
Age
42
Location
Florida
give him a list of 10 things to pick from that he should say instead of that one. if a man does not have instinct... then must have structure.
Humans are the only animal who cannot rely on instinct. Man is a rational animal. Unfortunately there's a few people here who don't quite get that. I'm trying because I think they are worth effort.

My attempt at sexually stimulating the conversation was ill timed but sometimes trial and error is part of the learning process


Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.

Bryce, I like you man but I'm trying to get you to use that head of yours. Of course I never said that you had to give me any input but you want to make it in this business you're going to have to learn how to work with a variety of people, some of whom do not think like you do
 
Last edited:

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
2,301
Reaction score
2,321
Age
41
Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
This situation shows what is meant by being inattentive to the details that matter in an interaction. Instead of thinking about timing or how a message will be received, someone acts on impulse and says whatever comes to mind. The lack of restraint, in which is sending overly direct sexual messages too early, comes across as “blabbing” without awareness of how it looks to the other person.

Effective communication is more controlled. It requires tact, good timing, and thinking about how you appear from the other person’s perspective before you speak or act.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,945
Reaction score
19,260
This situation shows what is meant by being inattentive to the details that matter in an interaction. Instead of thinking about timing or how a message will be received, someone acts on impulse and says whatever comes to mind. The lack of restraint, in which is sending overly direct sexual messages too early, comes across as “blabbing” without awareness of how it looks to the other person.

Effective communication is more controlled. It requires tact, good timing, and thinking about how you appear from the other person’s perspective before you speak or act.
IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
 

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
2,301
Reaction score
2,321
Age
41
IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
You are right. My point is that “Why don’t you come up here and help me make some babies” isn’t doing him any favours regardless of her interest level. It’s the opposite of smooth, clever, or witty, and it’s too intense for the level of engagement she was showing.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,906
Reaction score
2,996
Location
Wilmington, DE
Bryce, I like you man but I'm trying to get you to use that head of yours. Of course I never said that you had to give me any input but you want to make it in this business you're going to have to learn how to work with a variety of people, some of whom do not think like you do
I cannot coach people who don't listen, and you routinely do not listen.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
6,126
Reaction score
4,949
Is there anything you'd like to add to that or do you want to keep it vague?

Of course I have some ideas on why that isn't working. I'm not that worried about it
"Afterwards, I can feed you to my alligators" is the missed opportunity here. Would've sealed the deal in an instant.
 
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
101
Reaction score
76
I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.
Please stop dancing and talk to some girls.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,940
Age
42
Location
Florida
I have a structure for text communication in my notes.

It's much easier to communicate with women whom are already attracted to you, but if all I'm getting are women who are at best lukewarm to me, then I really need to improve on my communication game.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

characternote

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
1,258
Reaction score
1,469
IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
This is more of the issue rather than that fairly weak text about making babies. She was just never actually that interested.
I didn't like the line and it was cringe, but make no mistake, that line would work fine from a guy she was very attracted too. (the infamous chad tinder experiments had him saying insane stuff and the girls would still want to meet up haha)
 
Last edited:

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,945
Reaction score
19,260
This is more of the issue rather than that fairly weak text about making babies. She was just never actually that interested.
I didn't like the line and it was cringe, but make no mistake, that line would work fine from a guy she was very attracted too. (the infamous chad tinder experiments had him saying insane stuff and the girls would still want to meet up haha)
Yeah, 100%

The more interested a woman is, the larger the margin for error, for sure.
 
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
101
Reaction score
76
I have a structure for text communication in my notes.

It's much easier to communicate with women whom are already attracted to you, but if all I'm getting are women who are at best lukewarm to me, then I really need to improve on my communication game.
Plinco I’m seeing this pattern where you go out, dance, approach a hot 20yo, and then she rejects you and/or calls you a creep.

It’s time to try something different. You should stick to women your age. I know you’re not interested in women your age, but that might help your social skills since you’re not interested in them. You can’t communicate for sh*t with younger women because you don’t understand them.

And please for the love of god, stop f*cking dancing. Approach women your age. I have a feeling they’ll understand your boomer humor a lot better.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Top