"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

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Plinco

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I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Plinco

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Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
 

Plinco

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Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.
Is there anything you'd like to add to that or do you want to keep it vague?

Of course I have some ideas on why that isn't working. I'm not that worried about it
 
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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plumber

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Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.
give him a list of 10 things to pick from that he should say instead of that one. if a man does not have instinct... then must have structure.
 

Plinco

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give him a list of 10 things to pick from that he should say instead of that one. if a man does not have instinct... then must have structure.
Humans are the only animal who cannot rely on instinct. Man is a rational animal. Unfortunately there's a few people here who don't quite get that. I'm trying because I think they are worth effort.

My attempt at sexually stimulating the conversation was ill timed but sometimes trial and error is part of the learning process


Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.

Bryce, I like you man but I'm trying to get you to use that head of yours. Of course I never said that you had to give me any input but you want to make it in this business you're going to have to learn how to work with a variety of people, some of whom do not think like you do
 
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Clockwerk50

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Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
This situation shows what is meant by being inattentive to the details that matter in an interaction. Instead of thinking about timing or how a message will be received, someone acts on impulse and says whatever comes to mind. The lack of restraint, in which is sending overly direct sexual messages too early, comes across as “blabbing” without awareness of how it looks to the other person.

Effective communication is more controlled. It requires tact, good timing, and thinking about how you appear from the other person’s perspective before you speak or act.
 

BackInTheGame78

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This situation shows what is meant by being inattentive to the details that matter in an interaction. Instead of thinking about timing or how a message will be received, someone acts on impulse and says whatever comes to mind. The lack of restraint, in which is sending overly direct sexual messages too early, comes across as “blabbing” without awareness of how it looks to the other person.

Effective communication is more controlled. It requires tact, good timing, and thinking about how you appear from the other person’s perspective before you speak or act.
IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
 

Clockwerk50

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IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
You are right. My point is that “Why don’t you come up here and help me make some babies” isn’t doing him any favours regardless of her interest level. It’s the opposite of smooth, clever, or witty, and it’s too intense for the level of engagement she was showing.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BPH

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Bryce, I like you man but I'm trying to get you to use that head of yours. Of course I never said that you had to give me any input but you want to make it in this business you're going to have to learn how to work with a variety of people, some of whom do not think like you do
I cannot coach people who don't listen, and you routinely do not listen.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Is there anything you'd like to add to that or do you want to keep it vague?

Of course I have some ideas on why that isn't working. I'm not that worried about it
"Afterwards, I can feed you to my alligators" is the missed opportunity here. Would've sealed the deal in an instant.
 
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I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.
Please stop dancing and talk to some girls.
 

Plinco

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I have a structure for text communication in my notes.

It's much easier to communicate with women whom are already attracted to you, but if all I'm getting are women who are at best lukewarm to me, then I really need to improve on my communication game.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

characternote

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IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
This is more of the issue rather than that fairly weak text about making babies. She was just never actually that interested.
I didn't like the line and it was cringe, but make no mistake, that line would work fine from a guy she was very attracted too. (the infamous chad tinder experiments had him saying insane stuff and the girls would still want to meet up haha)
 
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BackInTheGame78

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This is more of the issue rather than that fairly weak text about making babies. She was just never actually that interested.
I didn't like the line and it was cringe, but make no mistake, that line would work fine from a guy she was very attracted too. (the infamous chad tinder experiments had him saying insane stuff and the girls would still want to meet up haha)
Yeah, 100%

The more interested a woman is, the larger the margin for error, for sure.
 
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I have a structure for text communication in my notes.

It's much easier to communicate with women whom are already attracted to you, but if all I'm getting are women who are at best lukewarm to me, then I really need to improve on my communication game.
Plinco I’m seeing this pattern where you go out, dance, approach a hot 20yo, and then she rejects you and/or calls you a creep.

It’s time to try something different. You should stick to women your age. I know you’re not interested in women your age, but that might help your social skills since you’re not interested in them. You can’t communicate for sh*t with younger women because you don’t understand them.

And please for the love of god, stop f*cking dancing. Approach women your age. I have a feeling they’ll understand your boomer humor a lot better.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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