"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Feel Free To Criticize My Texting Game

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Plinco

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I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Plinco

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Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
 

Plinco

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Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.
Is there anything you'd like to add to that or do you want to keep it vague?

Of course I have some ideas on why that isn't working. I'm not that worried about it
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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plumber

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Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.
give him a list of 10 things to pick from that he should say instead of that one. if a man does not have instinct... then must have structure.
 

Plinco

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give him a list of 10 things to pick from that he should say instead of that one. if a man does not have instinct... then must have structure.
Humans are the only animal who cannot rely on instinct. Man is a rational animal. Unfortunately there's a few people here who don't quite get that. I'm trying because I think they are worth effort.

My attempt at sexually stimulating the conversation was ill timed but sometimes trial and error is part of the learning process


Dude...if you think this is ok, I don't know if any of us can help you.

Bryce, I like you man but I'm trying to get you to use that head of yours. Of course I never said that you had to give me any input but you want to make it in this business you're going to have to learn how to work with a variety of people, some of whom do not think like you do
 
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Clockwerk50

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Here's an update with my texting mess

One of the girls whom I matched with kept messaging me with short responses, like she's somewhat interested. I complimented her and I get a "thanksss." I also noticed that she's in Miami which is almost three hours away from me. So then I say "Why don't you come up here and help me make some babies." That was yesterday and I haven't gotten a response yet.
This situation shows what is meant by being inattentive to the details that matter in an interaction. Instead of thinking about timing or how a message will be received, someone acts on impulse and says whatever comes to mind. The lack of restraint, in which is sending overly direct sexual messages too early, comes across as “blabbing” without awareness of how it looks to the other person.

Effective communication is more controlled. It requires tact, good timing, and thinking about how you appear from the other person’s perspective before you speak or act.
 

BackInTheGame78

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This situation shows what is meant by being inattentive to the details that matter in an interaction. Instead of thinking about timing or how a message will be received, someone acts on impulse and says whatever comes to mind. The lack of restraint, in which is sending overly direct sexual messages too early, comes across as “blabbing” without awareness of how it looks to the other person.

Effective communication is more controlled. It requires tact, good timing, and thinking about how you appear from the other person’s perspective before you speak or act.
IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
 

Clockwerk50

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IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
You are right. My point is that “Why don’t you come up here and help me make some babies” isn’t doing him any favours regardless of her interest level. It’s the opposite of smooth, clever, or witty, and it’s too intense for the level of engagement she was showing.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BPH

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Bryce, I like you man but I'm trying to get you to use that head of yours. Of course I never said that you had to give me any input but you want to make it in this business you're going to have to learn how to work with a variety of people, some of whom do not think like you do
I cannot coach people who don't listen, and you routinely do not listen.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Is there anything you'd like to add to that or do you want to keep it vague?

Of course I have some ideas on why that isn't working. I'm not that worried about it
"Afterwards, I can feed you to my alligators" is the missed opportunity here. Would've sealed the deal in an instant.
 
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I just came back home after dancing for about an hour. I was dancing okay until the last one had so many steps I just started making stuff up to the rhythm and still tried to look like I knew what I was doing. I talked to a handful of random people and had fun, because I had higher emotional vitality @craider at no point was I being irrational so there's your empirical example buddy.
Please stop dancing and talk to some girls.
 

Plinco

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I have a structure for text communication in my notes.

It's much easier to communicate with women whom are already attracted to you, but if all I'm getting are women who are at best lukewarm to me, then I really need to improve on my communication game.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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characternote

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IMO, this was a classic lost cause, disinterested chick
This is more of the issue rather than that fairly weak text about making babies. She was just never actually that interested.
I didn't like the line and it was cringe, but make no mistake, that line would work fine from a guy she was very attracted too. (the infamous chad tinder experiments had him saying insane stuff and the girls would still want to meet up haha)
 
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BackInTheGame78

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This is more of the issue rather than that fairly weak text about making babies. She was just never actually that interested.
I didn't like the line and it was cringe, but make no mistake, that line would work fine from a guy she was very attracted too. (the infamous chad tinder experiments had him saying insane stuff and the girls would still want to meet up haha)
Yeah, 100%

The more interested a woman is, the larger the margin for error, for sure.
 
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I have a structure for text communication in my notes.

It's much easier to communicate with women whom are already attracted to you, but if all I'm getting are women who are at best lukewarm to me, then I really need to improve on my communication game.
Plinco I’m seeing this pattern where you go out, dance, approach a hot 20yo, and then she rejects you and/or calls you a creep.

It’s time to try something different. You should stick to women your age. I know you’re not interested in women your age, but that might help your social skills since you’re not interested in them. You can’t communicate for sh*t with younger women because you don’t understand them.

And please for the love of god, stop f*cking dancing. Approach women your age. I have a feeling they’ll understand your boomer humor a lot better.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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