"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Ex-neighbour, how would you approach?

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
733
Reaction score
342
I used to live in a different part of the city, next door to a hot neighbour. We didn't interact too much then (I lived there for 2 years), but the few times we did, she seemed really nice, and obvs pretty hot. When I moved out, I left a bottle of wine I'd had left and her roommate gave it to her (as she was still sleeping). I knew she was on FB as one situation revealed back then, so I sent her a message in the sense of "hoping the bottle of wine reached you", and she just replied today, as she only saw the message now (we're not connected there yet). I'd smash this girl, so I was wondering how you guys would approach it - suggesting coffee first, after reconnecting, perhaps?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
949
Reaction score
893
Age
29
I used to live in a different part of the city, next door to a hot neighbour. We didn't interact too much then (I lived there for 2 years), but the few times we did, she seemed really nice, and obvs pretty hot. When I moved out, I left a bottle of wine I'd had left and her roommate gave it to her (as she was still sleeping). I knew she was on FB as one situation revealed back then, so I sent her a message in the sense of "hoping the bottle of wine reached you", and she just replied today, as she only saw the message now (we're not connected there yet). I'd smash this girl, so I was wondering how you guys would approach it - suggesting coffee first, after reconnecting, perhaps?
Just play your cards cool and lead the way. She is possibly dtf right now so your chances are high up right now so better act direct as soon as possible. Invited her over for a drink and the rest will follow up
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,444
Reaction score
2,738
Age
52
Invite her to see your new place and drink the bottle of wine...

"Hey Neighbor Girl Firstname, Glad you got the wine. my new place has a great sunset view. If you wanna bring it, I'll fix us dinner on my grill at my new place.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
733
Reaction score
342
Invite her to see your new place and drink the bottle of wine...

"Hey Neighbor Girl Firstname, Glad you got the wine. my new place has a great sunset view. If you wanna bring it, I'll fix us dinner on my grill at my new place.
Nah, that’s WAY too direct, would definitely scare her off and make me a creep. I sent her a message, we’ll see. My new place DOES have a nice sunset view tho.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,792
Reaction score
2,125
Nah, that’s WAY too direct, would definitely scare her off and make me a creep. I sent her a message, we’ll see. My new place DOES have a nice sunset view tho.
Oh yeah, because enjoying a sunset instead of having a drink isnt creepy at all.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,444
Reaction score
2,738
Age
52
The worst that could happen is she says "NO" . Best part is you don't have to see her every day and feel awkward if she does.

You are in danger of being friendzoned if you don't act more direct.


It's not like you are some stranger....she knows who you are. Give her a chance to choose you.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,792
Reaction score
2,125
I fail to see how your two replies contribute any substance to this conversation, can you clarify?
Sorry, I try to be minimalist in my responses.

Basically, you are going to build more credibility with this woman by going to a social place, rather than an individual place, because we want to create the condition where she wants to be saw with us, to increase her social status and almost let her show you off in a way, as if to say to the other women, hey b1tches this is what i am worth. She will crave this social proofing.

if you are j-j-j-jacked, you could just invite her over, but your relying on the strength of the attraction you have built with her previously and if it was there before, then you hesitated and that will also impact her view of you.

Being Creepy, is when you try to skip social proofing without enough attraction built
 

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
733
Reaction score
342
Thanks. That’s why I said I’d rather meet her outside.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,792
Reaction score
2,125
Thanks. That’s why I said I’d rather meet her outside.
The core of what I am saying is that this should of been done before you left the wine, as you have already compromised her look of you by not building attraction or not following up with her in person but rather Facebook.

Facebook is not a place for you to make moves, in person is.. Like messaging on Facebook after you didn't follow up is creepy, anybody here will tell you that.

Anyways, best of luck
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
733
Reaction score
342
Why don't you just move so that you live next to her again? Then you could say "what a coincidence" and she wouldn't find it strange at all.
I'm not gonna feed the trolls here, which you obviously are
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top