"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ex-neighbour, how would you approach?

user252009

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I used to live in a different part of the city, next door to a hot neighbour. We didn't interact too much then (I lived there for 2 years), but the few times we did, she seemed really nice, and obvs pretty hot. When I moved out, I left a bottle of wine I'd had left and her roommate gave it to her (as she was still sleeping). I knew she was on FB as one situation revealed back then, so I sent her a message in the sense of "hoping the bottle of wine reached you", and she just replied today, as she only saw the message now (we're not connected there yet). I'd smash this girl, so I was wondering how you guys would approach it - suggesting coffee first, after reconnecting, perhaps?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Romanemp22

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I used to live in a different part of the city, next door to a hot neighbour. We didn't interact too much then (I lived there for 2 years), but the few times we did, she seemed really nice, and obvs pretty hot. When I moved out, I left a bottle of wine I'd had left and her roommate gave it to her (as she was still sleeping). I knew she was on FB as one situation revealed back then, so I sent her a message in the sense of "hoping the bottle of wine reached you", and she just replied today, as she only saw the message now (we're not connected there yet). I'd smash this girl, so I was wondering how you guys would approach it - suggesting coffee first, after reconnecting, perhaps?
Just play your cards cool and lead the way. She is possibly dtf right now so your chances are high up right now so better act direct as soon as possible. Invited her over for a drink and the rest will follow up
 

2Rocky

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Invite her to see your new place and drink the bottle of wine...

"Hey Neighbor Girl Firstname, Glad you got the wine. my new place has a great sunset view. If you wanna bring it, I'll fix us dinner on my grill at my new place.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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user252009

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Invite her to see your new place and drink the bottle of wine...

"Hey Neighbor Girl Firstname, Glad you got the wine. my new place has a great sunset view. If you wanna bring it, I'll fix us dinner on my grill at my new place.
Nah, that’s WAY too direct, would definitely scare her off and make me a creep. I sent her a message, we’ll see. My new place DOES have a nice sunset view tho.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Nah, that’s WAY too direct, would definitely scare her off and make me a creep. I sent her a message, we’ll see. My new place DOES have a nice sunset view tho.
Oh yeah, because enjoying a sunset instead of having a drink isnt creepy at all.
 

2Rocky

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The worst that could happen is she says "NO" . Best part is you don't have to see her every day and feel awkward if she does.

You are in danger of being friendzoned if you don't act more direct.


It's not like you are some stranger....she knows who you are. Give her a chance to choose you.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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I fail to see how your two replies contribute any substance to this conversation, can you clarify?
Sorry, I try to be minimalist in my responses.

Basically, you are going to build more credibility with this woman by going to a social place, rather than an individual place, because we want to create the condition where she wants to be saw with us, to increase her social status and almost let her show you off in a way, as if to say to the other women, hey b1tches this is what i am worth. She will crave this social proofing.

if you are j-j-j-jacked, you could just invite her over, but your relying on the strength of the attraction you have built with her previously and if it was there before, then you hesitated and that will also impact her view of you.

Being Creepy, is when you try to skip social proofing without enough attraction built
 

user252009

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Thanks. That’s why I said I’d rather meet her outside.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Thanks. That’s why I said I’d rather meet her outside.
The core of what I am saying is that this should of been done before you left the wine, as you have already compromised her look of you by not building attraction or not following up with her in person but rather Facebook.

Facebook is not a place for you to make moves, in person is.. Like messaging on Facebook after you didn't follow up is creepy, anybody here will tell you that.

Anyways, best of luck
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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user252009

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Why don't you just move so that you live next to her again? Then you could say "what a coincidence" and she wouldn't find it strange at all.
I'm not gonna feed the trolls here, which you obviously are
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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