"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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Ex-neighbour, how would you approach?

user252009

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I used to live in a different part of the city, next door to a hot neighbour. We didn't interact too much then (I lived there for 2 years), but the few times we did, she seemed really nice, and obvs pretty hot. When I moved out, I left a bottle of wine I'd had left and her roommate gave it to her (as she was still sleeping). I knew she was on FB as one situation revealed back then, so I sent her a message in the sense of "hoping the bottle of wine reached you", and she just replied today, as she only saw the message now (we're not connected there yet). I'd smash this girl, so I was wondering how you guys would approach it - suggesting coffee first, after reconnecting, perhaps?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Romanemp22

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I used to live in a different part of the city, next door to a hot neighbour. We didn't interact too much then (I lived there for 2 years), but the few times we did, she seemed really nice, and obvs pretty hot. When I moved out, I left a bottle of wine I'd had left and her roommate gave it to her (as she was still sleeping). I knew she was on FB as one situation revealed back then, so I sent her a message in the sense of "hoping the bottle of wine reached you", and she just replied today, as she only saw the message now (we're not connected there yet). I'd smash this girl, so I was wondering how you guys would approach it - suggesting coffee first, after reconnecting, perhaps?
Just play your cards cool and lead the way. She is possibly dtf right now so your chances are high up right now so better act direct as soon as possible. Invited her over for a drink and the rest will follow up
 

2Rocky

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Invite her to see your new place and drink the bottle of wine...

"Hey Neighbor Girl Firstname, Glad you got the wine. my new place has a great sunset view. If you wanna bring it, I'll fix us dinner on my grill at my new place.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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user252009

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Invite her to see your new place and drink the bottle of wine...

"Hey Neighbor Girl Firstname, Glad you got the wine. my new place has a great sunset view. If you wanna bring it, I'll fix us dinner on my grill at my new place.
Nah, that’s WAY too direct, would definitely scare her off and make me a creep. I sent her a message, we’ll see. My new place DOES have a nice sunset view tho.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Nah, that’s WAY too direct, would definitely scare her off and make me a creep. I sent her a message, we’ll see. My new place DOES have a nice sunset view tho.
Oh yeah, because enjoying a sunset instead of having a drink isnt creepy at all.
 

2Rocky

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The worst that could happen is she says "NO" . Best part is you don't have to see her every day and feel awkward if she does.

You are in danger of being friendzoned if you don't act more direct.


It's not like you are some stranger....she knows who you are. Give her a chance to choose you.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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I fail to see how your two replies contribute any substance to this conversation, can you clarify?
Sorry, I try to be minimalist in my responses.

Basically, you are going to build more credibility with this woman by going to a social place, rather than an individual place, because we want to create the condition where she wants to be saw with us, to increase her social status and almost let her show you off in a way, as if to say to the other women, hey b1tches this is what i am worth. She will crave this social proofing.

if you are j-j-j-jacked, you could just invite her over, but your relying on the strength of the attraction you have built with her previously and if it was there before, then you hesitated and that will also impact her view of you.

Being Creepy, is when you try to skip social proofing without enough attraction built
 

user252009

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Thanks. That’s why I said I’d rather meet her outside.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Thanks. That’s why I said I’d rather meet her outside.
The core of what I am saying is that this should of been done before you left the wine, as you have already compromised her look of you by not building attraction or not following up with her in person but rather Facebook.

Facebook is not a place for you to make moves, in person is.. Like messaging on Facebook after you didn't follow up is creepy, anybody here will tell you that.

Anyways, best of luck
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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user252009

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Why don't you just move so that you live next to her again? Then you could say "what a coincidence" and she wouldn't find it strange at all.
I'm not gonna feed the trolls here, which you obviously are
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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