SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
My ex-gf added me to facebook.com today, but hasn't sent a message to me yet. I don't get it. What should I do?
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
a really ugly female friend had that happen.Booblepook said:Put her first on your friend list, and when she contacts you about it delete and block her.
or totally ignore invitation to become a friend.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
MacAvoy said:It means she wants to keep tabs on you and when she sees that you've moved on and are seeing other women, she'll initiate convo so she can reel you back in.
And she succeeds! This is how it all starts. Thats why DJ's who've been through the mill suggest the NO CONTACT method when dealing with Ex's. Ex's are ex's for a reason. People with options, don't need to go back to their ex's. Ex's come calling for a reason, because their current option died and they are coming back for an ego boost from you. Don't be that guy.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
Wow, just wow dude. You fell for the easiest and most 1 dimensional trick in the female arsenal. If she says anything back, ignore her. Like really, or she would've just won her validation from you.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
Whatever reason it was that made her an ex, remember it when you feel the need to contact her.Ex's are ex's for a reason
Agreed with the other posters. By not replying you could have made her wonder but now she knows you'll come running back if she pleases.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Politeness like that to an ex is the path to the dark side young Jedi.SharinganUser said:Nah, I don't want to get back with her, I really just thought I'd be polite and say hello considering she add'd me, and made comments on my pics first. I couldn't give a **** if she feels validated or whatever.
ezily, your pretty naive if you think she was just doing it to boost her friend count on a social networking site. She did in fact contact him as well.ezily said:did you ever stop to think why she didn't say anything to you? Look, she probably just wants to have 1 more friend. It makes her look that much "cooler" in her mind. Don't say anything and don't comment to her at all. If the breakup went bad I don't even know why you would accept her as a friend. But if it was OK then who cares. She's your ex for a reason.
SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
haha well I didn't read every post. So I guess I was wrong. But still... facebook means nothing. I think that's something we all can agree on.MacAvoy said:ezily, your pretty naive if you think she was just doing it to boost her friend count on a social networking site. She did in fact contact him as well.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.