SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
My ex-gf added me to facebook.com today, but hasn't sent a message to me yet. I don't get it. What should I do?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
a really ugly female friend had that happen.Booblepook said:Put her first on your friend list, and when she contacts you about it delete and block her.
or totally ignore invitation to become a friend.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
MacAvoy said:It means she wants to keep tabs on you and when she sees that you've moved on and are seeing other women, she'll initiate convo so she can reel you back in.
And she succeeds! This is how it all starts. Thats why DJ's who've been through the mill suggest the NO CONTACT method when dealing with Ex's. Ex's are ex's for a reason. People with options, don't need to go back to their ex's. Ex's come calling for a reason, because their current option died and they are coming back for an ego boost from you. Don't be that guy.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
Wow, just wow dude. You fell for the easiest and most 1 dimensional trick in the female arsenal. If she says anything back, ignore her. Like really, or she would've just won her validation from you.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
Whatever reason it was that made her an ex, remember it when you feel the need to contact her.Ex's are ex's for a reason
Agreed with the other posters. By not replying you could have made her wonder but now she knows you'll come running back if she pleases.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Politeness like that to an ex is the path to the dark side young Jedi.SharinganUser said:Nah, I don't want to get back with her, I really just thought I'd be polite and say hello considering she add'd me, and made comments on my pics first. I couldn't give a **** if she feels validated or whatever.
ezily, your pretty naive if you think she was just doing it to boost her friend count on a social networking site. She did in fact contact him as well.ezily said:did you ever stop to think why she didn't say anything to you? Look, she probably just wants to have 1 more friend. It makes her look that much "cooler" in her mind. Don't say anything and don't comment to her at all. If the breakup went bad I don't even know why you would accept her as a friend. But if it was OK then who cares. She's your ex for a reason.
SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times"
haha well I didn't read every post. So I guess I was wrong. But still... facebook means nothing. I think that's something we all can agree on.MacAvoy said:ezily, your pretty naive if you think she was just doing it to boost her friend count on a social networking site. She did in fact contact him as well.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.