SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
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My ex-gf added me to facebook.com today, but hasn't sent a message to me yet. I don't get it. What should I do?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ex-gf added me to facebook.com??
- Thread starter SharinganUser
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
you mean that she added you as a friend on facebook?
It is just to keep in touch with you just in case she wants to catch up on you. It means nothing. I added my ex-girlfriend as a friend. It means nothing.
comic_relief
It is just to keep in touch with you just in case she wants to catch up on you. It means nothing. I added my ex-girlfriend as a friend. It means nothing.
comic_relief
MacAvoy
Banned
It means she wants to keep tabs on you and when she sees that you've moved on and are seeing other women, she'll initiate convo so she can reel you back in.
This is precisely one of the reasons why I don't join facebook. As it is now, I've got a tonne of women asking why I don't join facebook, and there are a tonne of people who put up pictures, well I don't want my business posted all over the internet.
Everyone already knows I'm a manwh0re but as long as I don't flaunt it, then they can pretend I'm not.
This is precisely one of the reasons why I don't join facebook. As it is now, I've got a tonne of women asking why I don't join facebook, and there are a tonne of people who put up pictures, well I don't want my business posted all over the internet.
Everyone already knows I'm a manwh0re but as long as I don't flaunt it, then they can pretend I'm not.
ezily
Senior Don Juan
yeah facebook/myspace means nothing. Just thought I'd stress it again like everybody else.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Booblepook
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2008
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Put her first on your friend list, and when she contacts you about it delete and block her.or totally ignore invitation to become a friend.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
a really ugly female friend had that happen.Booblepook said:
or totally ignore invitation to become a friend.
She was going out with this guy from texas for a month or two then deleted her and wouldn't contact her at all.
She was heartbroken and confused.
cruel yet funny.
comic_relief
canadianmetalhead
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2008
- Messages
- 100
- Reaction score
- 1
its facebook man who cares
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
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- 50
I just assumed she was up to something.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
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- 1,776
- Reaction score
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She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times "
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
"So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
MacAvoy
Banned
MacAvoy said:
And she succeeds! This is how it all starts. Thats why DJ's who've been through the mill suggest the NO CONTACT method when dealing with Ex's. Ex's are ex's for a reason. People with options, don't need to go back to their ex's. Ex's come calling for a reason, because their current option died and they are coming back for an ego boost from you. Don't be that guy.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
Lord Shinra
Senior Don Juan
Wow, just wow dude. You fell for the easiest and most 1 dimensional trick in the female arsenal. If she says anything back, ignore her. Like really, or she would've just won her validation from you.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
As was said
Whatever reason it was that made her an ex, remember it when you feel the need to contact her.
Agreed with the other posters. By not replying you could have made her wonder but now she knows you'll come running back if she pleases.SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times
So i sent her a message back. Just to say "hey." Keep things light and then I'm going to bed.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
Nah, I don't want to get back with her, I really just thought I'd be polite and say hello considering she add'd me, and made comments on my pics first. I couldn't give a **** if she feels validated or whatever.
Lord Shinra
Senior Don Juan
Politeness like that to an ex is the path to the dark side young Jedi.SharinganUser said:
Politeness
Validation
Over niceness
Cheesyness
All paths to the darkside, they are.
ezily
Senior Don Juan
did you ever stop to think why she didn't say anything to you? Look, she probably just wants to have 1 more friend. It makes her look that much "cooler" in her mind. Don't say anything and don't comment to her at all. If the breakup went bad I don't even know why you would accept her as a friend. But if it was OK then who cares. She's your ex for a reason.
MacAvoy
Banned
ezily, your pretty naive if you think she was just doing it to boost her friend count on a social networking site. She did in fact contact him as well.ezily said:
SharinganUser said:She did comment on one of my pics that i posted of her: "Thank's SharinganUser!!! Good times
ezily
Senior Don Juan
haha well I didn't read every post. So I guess I was wrong. But still... facebook means nothing. I think that's something we all can agree on.MacAvoy said:
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.