Did your wife/ex-wife change after kids?

LARaiders85

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My father was around and married to my mother. He died when I was 29.

He was an excellent provider, a business owner and we lived a white collar existence, where I got an excellent education. My family never moved once in my childhood. Home was always HOME. Family vacations happened, large extended family all around me for holidays and just to socialize with. I was never messed with emotionally, sexually or physically. I had a GREAT childhood.

You suck at picking dude, no intuition. Explains why you are SO frustrated with the women in your life.

Your constantly petty too, always trying to provoke so ppl will engage you, why? What is the attention seeking all about?

Have a great day!
Haha I might be dead wrong about your dad but the entire last half of your post was projection. Just look at your rude comment in my first quote, what in the actual fvck.
 

sazc

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[

My Dad died a few years ago.

Sounds like you had an awesome upbringing.

Despite my parents divorce mine was good too. When some guys here say kids become damaged if there is no father figure around, it’s not the presence or absence of the father, but the quality of the father. And the quality of the mother too.

If a parent is a sh*t parent it’s sometimes better that they are not around.
I agree with you. There's a lot on this site that gets polarized, and it isn't typically "for the better" for the collective.
I am still floored about how good I had it. I thought everyone's childhood was like mine.

Then, I turn 18 and we (my friends and I) all graduate and they start confessing how fvcked up their home life was. Emotional abuse, physical abuse, incest, rape, molestation, alcoholism, the list goes on. I'm still floored about it, and grateful.
 

sazc

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Haha I might be dead wrong about your dad but the entire last half of your post was projection. Just look at your rude comment in my first quote, what in the actual fvck.
Typical deflection. U are wrong? Deflect!

Yeah, what the actual fvck?
 

AJ84

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It is very important to understand sazc. She is a Feminine Imperative warrior. She has her good points I would think but she is very skilled at subversive interjection. She could crush most men on here without a thought.
She is a dyed in the wool feminist. I like when she posts. It’s getting really easy to see the power of the imperative through her thought processes.
The down side is that unskilled men are easy prey for the thoughts processes that hit deep inside them. Beware. True skill.
I’ve met dyed in the wool feminists and I don’t think she’s that, to be honest.

I think she, like you, like others here, like me at times, call people on stuff. Sometimes we’re off and sometimes we’re not.

It can get heated at times but it’s nice when there can be a discussion where it doesn’t get personal.

And I think there’s a lot of that dyed in the wool mentality here on the forum, feminist or not.
 

sazc

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I’ve met dyed in the wool feminists and I don’t think she’s that, to be honest.

I think she, like you, like others here, like me at times, call people on stuff. Sometimes we’re off and sometimes we’re not.

It can get heated at times but it’s nice when there can be a discussion where it doesn’t get personal.

And I think there’s a lot of that dyed in the wool mentality here on the forum, feminist or not.
It's funny how they are so scared of me that they refuse to tag me for fear of me seeing it, lol. The *alpha* men have to whisper behind the scenes, lol
 

sazc

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6 pages of you doing this in this very thread
When I see you interjecting yourself into a conversation JUST to antagonize, and then call you out on it, and your reply is your standard "deflection", you BET I'm going to remind you that attention seeking behavior is for weak people. Yes. Beta hurts baby.

You don't like it? Don't be an a$$hole.
 

LARaiders85

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When I see you interjecting yourself into a conversation JUST to antagonize, and then call you out on it, and your reply is your standard "deflection", you BET I'm going to remind you that attention seeking behavior is for weak people. Yes. Beta hurts baby.

You don't like it? Don't be an a$$hole.
What exactly was your interjection in page 1 again?
 

samspade

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The lack of self assessment, self examination, in this thread is incredulous.
To be fair, the topic of this thread is, "Did your wife/ex-wife change after kids." Not, "How do you think you could improve as a husband and father."

Now, I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but I've already seen some self-assessment. Meanwhile there seems to be some examples, if not consensus, of the wives not being so self-examining.
 

sazc

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To be fair, the topic of this thread is, "Did your wife/ex-wife change after kids." Not, "How do you think you could improve as a husband and father."

Now, I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but I've already seen some self-assessment. Meanwhile there seems to be some examples, if not consensus, of the wives not being so self-examining.
Understood. Like I state in the thread, in detail, and in different dimensions, all relationships change when you have a child. Ppl may myopically believe "I didn't change a bit!" But both people are going to change.
 

samspade

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Also, old joke (usually told in Spanish):
Husband comes home from work and calls out to his wife.
Husband: "Honey, I brought you the aspirin!"
Wife: "What? I don't have a headache."
Husband: "Great. Let's fvck!"
That reminds me of one.

Husband comes home to wife with a dozen red roses.

Husband: "Honey, look what I brought you!"
Wife: "I suppose now I'll have to open my legs."
Husband: "A vase will do just fine."
 

samspade

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Understood. Like I state in the thread, in detail, and in different dimensions, all relationships change when you have a child. You may myopically believe "I didn't change a bit?" But both people are going to change.
Sure, but I don't see anyone saying they haven't changed either. But it's about whether and how the woman changed. You're right that it doesn't happen in a vacuum, and there are three (or more) moving parts once the baby comes along. Since so much of this thread is about sex, one thing that doesn't change is that men continue to want it after fatherhood begins, where according to testimony here, women seek it less.

My inclination is to control for whether some of these posters were blue pill or young when they first became fathers. That is, rather than them changing, did they not know in the first place how to navigate the shoals of parenthood.

Having read some but not all of the responses, it sounds like there is a lot of power shifting. I can understand mothers wanting more say in household and child rearing dynamics. A man has to delegate and say "listen to your mother" in a lot of cases. It sounds to me (never having been a dad) that the key is knowing how to maintain, for the forty billionth time, frame.
 

sazc

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Sure, but I don't see anyone saying they haven't changed either. But it's about whether and how the woman changed. You're right that it doesn't happen in a vacuum, and there are three (or more) moving parts once the baby comes along. Since so much of this thread is about sex, one thing that doesn't change is that men continue to want it after fatherhood begins, where according to testimony here, women seek it less.

My inclination is to control for whether some of these posters were blue pill or young when they first became fathers. That is, rather than them changing, did they not know in the first place how to navigate the shoals of parenthood.

Having read some but not all of the responses, it sounds like there is a lot of power shifting. I can understand mothers wanting more say in household and child rearing dynamics. A man has to delegate and say "listen to your mother" in a lot of cases. It sounds to me (never having been a dad) that the key is knowing how to maintain, for the forty billionth time, frame.
Forty billionth time, lol

It's just frustrating to see polarization in threads. A group of guys that are seeking advice, surrounding any single topic, which can generally be boiled down to 'how to be more happy/satisfied in a relationship'. The polarization any topic is not going to achieve that, leaving them even more frustrated and angry when it comes to women
 
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samspade

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Spaz

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I've just read pages 1,2 and the last 2, skipped the middle parts.

Marriages (sex) fail because men failed to lead their relationships and that has led the ship off course - sinking it in the process.

Own that guys. There's no shame in doing so, and by owning it you'd be in a better position.

In any relationship with a woman, know that the feminine imperative will always drive her feelings and then she will subconsciously induce female-logic (which is not logical at all) of that feelings to make sense to her.

The feminine imperative is = Her survival 1st (inclusive lifestyle) and 2nd that of her offspring's. It's here that you need to take the lead, if she's left by her own, the imperatives takes charge and you're basically fvcked.

All her thoughts processes is actually derived from feelings that's being driven by the imperative.

Which is why women hasn't created anything (except babies) in this world since the creation of men.

So now you know why you'll need to take the lead ?

Great.

Hope this helps you guys out.
 
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