"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Diagnosed with a disorder...

dot

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Master Bates said:
I'm not going to delude myself into thinking the fix is in a prescription medication, though.
Yeah prescription drugs barely fix anything.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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backbreaker

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dot said:
How did you do that? Sometimes I'm bad at getting myself fully immersed, even if I enjoy it. It's easier if I enjoy it, but still sometimes it happens when I do enjoy it.

I never completely got over it. I might very well have ADD. every once in a while, I still catch myself blowing complete days by doing absolutely nothing because I can't think about one thing for more than 5 mintues. But if I get up in the morning, and eat a good breakfast, work out, my mind is alot sharper. it's about cleaning the crap out of your mind. having a game plan set for the next day.

the more prepared I am to go into battle the next day, the more likely I am to succeed.
 

Yapper

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You start to feel nauseous...? Are you hampered in your ability to interact with them, or does it just make your tummy feel bad? That doesn't sound like social anxiety to me.
 

dot

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backbreaker said:
I never completely got over it. I might very well have ADD. every once in a while, I still catch myself blowing complete days by doing absolutely nothing because I can't think about one thing for more than 5 mintues. But if I get up in the morning, and eat a good breakfast, work out, my mind is alot sharper. it's about cleaning the crap out of your mind. having a game plan set for the next day.

the more prepared I am to go into battle the next day, the more likely I am to succeed.
So you think preparation helps a lot? Yeah I definitely some days where everything's off and I can't get things done.
 

backbreaker

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god yes. it changed my life.

if you saw how detailed my to do list is, you would laugh, but i know myself if it's not that detailed I will sit outside with my dogs all day or spend all day at the horse track.. which is fun and somewhat productive but I am neglecting everything else. I had a woman one day at my door for 30 mintues because I forgot I had a date and wasn't home. that's how forgetful i can be.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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green69

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backbreaker said:
god yes. it changed my life.

if you saw how detailed my to do list is, you would laugh, but i know myself if it's not that detailed I will sit outside with my dogs all day or spend all day at the horse track.. which is fun and somewhat productive but I am neglecting everything else. I had a woman one day at my door for 30 mintues because I forgot I had a date and wasn't home. that's how forgetful i can be.
I understand how u feel, cuz I've been diagnosed with ADD as well LOL. I'm sure many of you will say "oh you're making it up" but for real I have ADD I've even read a book on it which detailed every single symptom and I was amazed at how they had me down to a tee.

For all those interested, tonight was my first night out since being diagnosed with this 'disorder'. As another person mentioned, i think a more appropriate term is 'condition' since I believe this whole thing has manifested from a traumatic event that happened 6-7 months ago...and spiraled into a general social anxiety problem.

Anyways, I was a little nervous because now I knew that I had anxiety troubles. But at the same time knowing that I would have to work through this made it easier for some reason. Of course I was not my old self in terms of anxiety levels...but I tried to keep my stressors to a minimum and the night was great. Only for a couple brief periods did I feel nauseous and it was not a big deal at all I could handle it. It's only when I have that throw up feeling for like 30 minutes straight when it becomes a problem.

So yea...definitely still have anxiety issues but having knowledge of the problem made things much better and I had a very good night overall :)
I'm still gonna see a therapist about this...but at least in the meantime I can cope with these issues. And to think I was gonna take addicting medication...
 

green69

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For all those interested (probably very few) it has been 3 months since my anxiety troubles have reached the extreme. Since then i have been seeing a therapist about twice a month, and I am doing much better. Apparently I was/am having panic attacks in certain social situations. In my case the physiological symptom was/is nausea.

With the help of cognitive therapy and breathing techniques, the length, frequency, and severity of my panic attacks have gradually decreased. I still have a long way to go until I am back to my old self (therapist said it will take a while to fully recovery since the roots of the anxiety have been going on for about 8 months or so) but I am definitely seeing improvement. As long as I continue to get better and better I will be very happy :)
 

ketostix

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What was it that triggered your anxiety a few months back?
 
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Try this tapping stuff. I had the same thing as you and this more or less got rid of it. Some people would say it doesnt make sense but they havent tryed it. Its complety free aswell so it isnt someone tryna make money off you're misfourtune. Give it a try for awhile and I garentee you'll see results.

http://www.tapping.com/
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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